I Really Don't Do Smalltalk!!
@danishcanadian (28953)
Canada
May 8, 2011 8:13pm CST
Something came up around here, and while dealing with that situation, a person involved asked me out of the blue if my mother was coming "tomorrow" (the situation having happened last night). Thinking she meant "was I getting my mother involved?" I said "no." Her next question was "why, are you MAD at her?" "No, I'm not mad at her." Dealing with the stress of the current situation, it had slipped my mind that today would be Mother's Day. As for my mother, she wouldn't have come over anyway, because of the cost of gas, and the fact that she lives 50 miles North of here!! We don't get hung up on the date, I just catch her when she's in town. As for us getting up there to see her, impossible, and she knew that when she moved there!! My husband and I are both almost blind, and neither of us has a drivers license. She lives in a little farm town in the middle of nowhere, and only one bus goes through there a week. LOL We don't see eachother often, but we talk almost every day, and you bet I called her today.
How do you feel about questions? If you answer "no" to a question, whether you've interpreted correctly or not, how do you feel when the person probes further, as in my case?
6 people like this
17 responses
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
10 May 11
Personally, I wouldn't have assumed that someone was angry with her/his mother just because (s)he wasn't seeing her on Mother's Day. There are many people who, for whatever reason, don't visit with their mothers on the day.
Unless the woman you were speaking with is a close friend, inquiring as to whether you were angry with your mother was a bit tasteless. A polite person (or, at least, one wishing to appear so) would have made some noise along the lines of that being too bad or some such and moved on to a new topic.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
25 May 11
There's a way to handle this. Whenever I get into this kind of situation , I would talk about it elaborately. I think honesty is the best policy and I will tell it like it is ... normally before I get to finish , I'll see bored looks on people's faces so I know the topic's done. Try it .... you'll see.
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
10 May 11
some people don't know when to quit.depending on what they're asking,you wonder what they're up to.yea,i do get mad if they don't get the hint.often i'll ask them point blank what's with the questions.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
15 May 11
She probably didn't mean any harm. She was just trying to be friendly and showing some concern and didn't mean to probe. I'd have asked if there was something wrong or why just to make conversation and then I'd add, "you don't have to tell me if you don't want to because it's none of my business and I'd be ok with that." Seriously, I'm ok with that. Not everybody wants to tell what their situation is and that's all well and good. I won't probe any further if I were told that it's private or what ever the words the person chooses and not take offense.
@saratafuri (16)
• United States
10 May 11
I have a very small personal bubble and not many boundaries when it comes to people wanting to know things about me. That said, I don't just blurt things out, I wait until the appropriate time and make sure people actually want to know things. I don't want to make people feel too uncomfortable haha. Also, it is kind of a fun challenge when someone is probing into your life to try to answer questions as vague as possible in order to frustrate them.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
9 May 11
I hate when others are always probing and wanting more information when you answer "NO" or "I don't know" to something. Makes me wish that they sometimes would mind their own Business and move on. I actually had a migraine yesterday so I did not have to worry about too many people approaching me about if I was going to call my Mom, etc. She has been gone now for 3 1/2 yrs, and it is still a sticky subject so it was probably for the best.
@sweetgirl_k1 (3972)
• United States
10 May 11
I usually answer the questions people ask but they don't need to keep asking more and more questions if its none of their business. My mother didn't come to my house on Mother's Day but I saw her at church and went and had lunch with her and gave her a little gift. My mother in law came to our house to get her gift and the only person here was my husband so I didn't even get to see her on Mother's Day. I did call and wish her a happy Mother's Day though and she thanked me for her gift. If people start asking too many questions...I would just tell them that it's really none of their business and I wouldn't answer them. I don't like it when people try to get all into my business anyway.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
9 May 11
I honestly hate when people probe into my business. If I want to tell something, I will tell it, if not, they do not need to ask me about my business either. I hate having to explain things to people that has nothing to do with it.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
9 May 11
I work with a gal like that...but if you question her in the same way.....she runs away. I like giving them the look....it's that blank expression or when you give a disapproving one...they feel uncomfortable and you don't have to say a thing..they start stumbling over what they are saying....
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
10 May 11
You are a person after my own heart because I am a very private person; most people that know me know that and will not probe into my business and those that don't know me soon learn not to probe. It is just common sense, in my opinion, that not everyone likes to talk alot about their lives and that should be respected. When disrespect happens then you get what you get; a yes or a no.
I think Mothers' Day is not about getting to be with your mother in person, but let her know that you love her throughout the year. Some mothers, like mine, don't make to mother's day so it is better not to wait for a special occasion to say I Love You. 
@naija4real (1291)
•
9 May 11
It is always good to provide the right answer for the right question. One do not need to be rude to others. Just make friends and have a nice day.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
9 May 11
Well since I have been asking Why Ever since I was two , I don't get too upset when others ask why.I just answer the question. Most of the time I ask. Why did you ask? It is none of anyone's business How you get along with your mom. With that said All I am going to say is I hope you and your mom had a great talk today.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
9 May 11
Hi, you forgot the Mother Day. Actually you did not forget your mother. The love between mother and child can't be bonded in a day. Mother's love and the feeling of child is eternal. It's no matter that you forgot the Day. It's an artificial gesture. I feel the question is silly.
@pmbhuntress09 (1608)
• United States
9 May 11
Some people just need to know more. Personally I couldn't care less if someone says no, that is the final anwser to me, but to many they want to know why you said no. Makes you wonder if they have no life at all. Therefore they have to ask, why, why, why.
