Parenthood Adjustments ...

My husband sounds like your husband. But now he is crazy about our kids. What I did is to tell him what the cute things the kids do. He loves to hear about them. There are complaints too but mostly good 'reports'.

I think that all men sort of go through this. Some men take naturally to being a parent, and for others it takes a little bit. My friends husband is the same way. She thinks that he is being insensitve because he doesn't like holding the baby or being alone with him, but truthfully he is nervous. I think that with some more encouragement and support your hubby will get there. I have noticed also with my own husband that he has his own way of handling the girls then I do. I take on the majority of responsibilites with our girls, and he works. So when he is home he tries to spend time with them and sometimes he just doesn't know what to do with them. Espcially our 3 month old. He is a little bit akward and unsure, but is really awesome with her and I think that he doesn't even no it. I think as mothers we think that our way is the right way, but we need to be open to the way our spouses do things, and give them a the benefit of the doubt that they can do it. I would try giving him small task that may help him become closer with the baby, like changing a diaper, or holding the baby while you cook dinner. A little encouragement can be helpful to. I have noticed that if you hound them about everything they are doing wrong then it makes them, not want to help out at all. So just drop little hints here and there but try to be more supportive then anything. Hope that helps. Good luck.

Hi babyEj, i can't give you a solution, because i'm not aware of it, but all i can is, your discussion made me think that in future i shouldn't be such father who is painful for my wife, and have to be understanding and sensitive :)

When you have the time, teach him how to do all the taking care of the baby. Under your eyes, let him do them himself, so you can gauge if he more or less learned from what you taught. Gently coach him that the least that he could do to help you, is to do them, whenever he can and you are not there to do it.

maybe its bacause he's not yet really ready to become a father yet. Is he still young? well, you can pray for him and he will soon learn the instinct of becoming a parent to his child...

yes, you're right. Some guys are like that even when they become a father. they're sensitive and sometimes you feel that they don't even care! I think you have to tell him what you feel and make him understand why you felt that. Me too, I still have issues about my husband, but we're working on that beside we're just married last year.. ( we got married when i was 8 months pregnant.. :D )

Men are like that I have rarely seen a father take interest in kids except those in the movies, mine was also like that, I don't know may be there are men who show their love so openly. My hubby has now started communicating with my son when he is around 12 and takes interest in sports and mainly they connect due to sports. While he comes to me for all his troubles and whats happening in his life and his friends I wonder if I was not their may be they would communicate only about what game is on and whats the score.