She's not into dating

Philippines
May 9, 2011 8:52pm CST
I asked a friend for his support in asking this girl I liked out on a group date, to lessen the awkwardness, because he's a mutual friend of ours. However, he told me that she wasn't into dating. Please put all skepticism about any ulterior motives aside, since I trust him and I believe he has none. But what does it mean when a girl is not into dating, and what approach should I take?
6 responses
@obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
10 May 11
if she is not into dating, then there's a lot to find out and better do it on your own. she is into more interesting things probably. i guess as a man you do what you have to do, be man enough to do it on your own.
• Philippines
11 May 11
Hm... Well I thought at first that she'd feel less pressured if it wasn't the two of us at first. But all girls are different, I guess. Yeah, she is definitely more into interesting things. She loves music, shopping, and theater, and that's all stuff I love to do too. I know that. I'm just kind of nervous that she'd like to do that stuff with me.
@obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
12 May 11
well, you'll never know if you would'nt try. That's the most interesting part of courtship, trying to figure out ways on how to win her heart, and even if things go much your way, charge it to "experience" the best learning process in life, lol!
• Philippines
17 May 11
Actually, that is so true. I guess I should stop worrying and ask her out on my own. That's the only way I'll find out, I guess. Thanks for that!
• Philippines
16 May 11
maybe you could ask the girl out on a "friendly date" yourself.no need to ask someone to do it for you.also,when you have a date with her,relax,have fun,and don't pressure yourself or even her to fall in love with you.enjoy your time together,say "here I am,spending time with a new friend".that way,if in case she doesn't reciprocate your feelings,at least you have a new friend.
• Philippines
17 May 11
I haven't actually told her about my plans to go on a group date. But thanks for the suggestion. :)
• Portugal
12 May 11
maybe im wrong but it seems that your friend is also interested on that girl. the truth is that when a guy asks a friend of him to meet some girl that is his friend he says right away that sure and that will invite her for you to meet. it seems that maybe your friend likes her too and didnt want to tell you. maybe im wrong but thats what it seems for him to be so septical about that. if you like her, you should just go near her when she is with a friend and say hi to her and ask her how she is always smile and ask that in a sweet way. if you do that im sure that she will talk to you^^ you know we girls are easy going. we just dont like when guys come talk with us with a big attitude like they are the kings of the world. but if you have a nice attitude for sure she will talk with you and who knows maybe after a few days talking with her about her hobbies and all kind of things you can ask her out^^ the best for you. later on, tell me how things went. if she talked to you and if you made friends with her
• Philippines
17 May 11
Actually. It was lately that I realized that many of my Lit classmates lied to me about her, some telling me that she liked someone, others saying that she wasn't into dating, others saying that she was actually with someone, but thankfully I somehow managed to find out that none of it was true. I'm really annoyed that they were all saying that stuff just so I wouldn't have any hope with her. I think now that the best thing to do is go to her and ask her myself, being myself. Now, I'm feeling just as skeptical as you are. It's just real painful, the feeling of being lied to.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
10 May 11
Why do you have to get the assistance of a mutual friend to ask the girl, when you yourself could do it? AT least, when you do it yourself you will not doubt if what the girl replied to your friend is really what was said.
• Philippines
11 May 11
Well, I asked his assistance because I don't want to do a 2-person date first. I want to do something of a gig with our group of friends, so that some ice can be melted.
• Philippines
10 May 11
hello jadking, Maybe she is not in romantic dating if you really want this girl you can ask your friend like go camping and invite here or something outdoor activity she like but dont let her feel that you want to date her to show your date interest on her so you can do your first move. A group outing or activity is fine so she will not feel that you are into something as of now Goodluck have a nice day!
• Philippines
11 May 11
Now that you mentioned it, I just remembered that she and I come from neighboring provinces, and we usually stay there when we don't have classes. Probably I could invite her to go hiking at the bordering mountain range... I'm not sure she'd enjoy that though, but it's worth a try. My thoughts exactly, as I don't want to pressure her by doing a the-two-of-us-only thing. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE IDEA!!!
@Skagen (12)
11 May 11
Hello Jadking, In my opinion, if you wants her and ask her already before for date and she said no its means one thing, she dont like you (sorry to put it like that)but I am a girl and I quite understand how we work. I am a woman and I know that when we like somebody we put what we dont like doing aside just to be with that person. So if she's not into dating I guess you could be wasting his time. Good luck
• Philippines
11 May 11
Hm... I haven't asked her personally yet. But I don't want to pressure her right away. It's just my intent to get to go out with her and get to know more about her, and that I plan to do so by going out with our group of friends.