So Shameless People!

Philippines
May 10, 2011 7:45pm CST
My dad's cousin, an able-bodied man I would say, so capable of working came to our house yesterday before lunch. He was looking for our dad. Unfortunately, my dad left and went to the market. The guy said, "Okay, I know your father will be home soon so I'll wait for him". And so, he waited outside, in our garage where he sat in our motorcycle. After about half an hour, my father arrived. He brought my brother and I some food from a nearby fast food because he knows we got no food at home and we must be hungry. My brother managed to bring it inside the house - but wait, it's not the big deal. So, my dad and his cousin (who actually does not bother to go to our house unless he is going to ask for money) talked. It so happened that my dad had this certain work which took him four months of blood and sweat and lot of spending before they can actually see the "fruits" of their work. And now is the time that my dad starts to see that the effort he put into that work is worth it. This guy apparently heard of the news that my dad and his brother (they happen to be partners in this business) are now gaining from this "project". He had actually gone to our house not a week ago asking my dad to give him money, but back then my dad still does not have money so he gave him one big pack of mangoes that he could actually eat or sell (if he really needs money). While they are talking, he said, "Man, GIVE me 100 pesos". Can you even imagine that! He is not actually asking, but demanding that my father give him money. Okay, it's a small amount, but the problem is he always does that and he never even bother to say thank you! My dad took his wallet, get two 50-peso bills, and while giving it to him he said, "Make it 500". Wow! I cannot believe this guy! I myself have not even ask my dad for money since he started having some money from this little business because I know that we still have a lot of things to pay first - but this guy told my dad to give him money and how much he wants. My dad does not have money in his wallet so he came in and started to search for some money and gave it to him - that's bad already. But, what is even worse is that he even took another big pack of mangoes worth more or less 300 to 500 pesos. So he has already taken 800 to 1000 from us. And the worst thing that could actually happen is that he comes back here asking for more! - and I would not be surprised if that's what happens. This guy actually lives with that. What makes me even mad is that my grandmother who is sick, he goes there from time to time telling them to give him food and money. And out of pity, my grandma gives him. He tells everyone he knows to give him a big amount of money. I mean, hello!? He can work! He's got big body, he should work to sustain his family. It is so hard to work for money now, so I cannot imagine this guy thinking that money SHOULD be given to him. The thing I hate most is that HE NEVER SAYS THANK YOU! Oh! My dad just happened to be so kind especially with people in need. But it's wrong to let lazy people do what they are doing because you should teach them that they need to work if they want to eat and have their needs, right?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
11 May 11
What is it with this man that your father cannot refuse to give him money, much more give him another pack of mangoes? Maybe you could talk with your father and ask him why he has to give him money just like that? It's your father's decision to do that, but i think by doing that every time he comes , will make that man ask for it often . I believe, the saying " Don't give a man fish , but teach him how to fish." truly should apply to that situation.
• Philippines
11 May 11
Yeah... well, my mom said "Your dad, when god showered kindness, he took everything and he took nothing else". I think this is pretty true. He just pities other people... He is too kind, toooo kind... over, too much. He said it's just like winning a game and sharing some of the money you won. But he promised he'll not give him again and tell him to work - I just hope he will really say that. People really will just go back to you once you do them a favor especially shameless people.
@taski24 (214)
• Philippines
11 May 11
Wow, that is shameless, indeed. The others were right. Your dad is not helping his cousin. There is a saying, "If you really want to help someone, do not give him fish; instead, teach him how to fish". Your father is just nurturing mendicancy. Your uncle would perpetually ask for more because your father doesn't know how to say no. Tell your father matter-of-factly that this alms-giving shouldn't and doesn't have to go on. Explain to him that he owes it to his children that he learn to stand for what is right and right now, your uncle is doing it all wrong.
• Philippines
11 May 11
Yeah.. well we talked about it already. My dad said yeah he should work but he helped him because he appreciates the fact that he is not the one who needs to ask other people and also considering this guy must be "lacking of mental capacity" (maybe in a way he does not know how to act properly). And my dad also considers it like he won a game and somebody asks for some sharing of blessing and that's what he did - though I personally would not take it that way cause this job has made us spend enough that we should probably "feel" the gain first before anybody else...
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
11 May 11
Unfortunately, until your dad learns to say NO to the guy, he will never learn...
@gracie04 (4549)
• Philippines
11 May 11
Hi there, based on your story, your dad seems to be very kind. If I were him, I would not allow this kind of incident to happen. Cousin seems to be very demanding and he has no right at all to ask/demand for money. What the?! Tell your dad to stop helping his cousin because he is just tolerating him to be real sluggish and dependent. the worse part is, the cousin does not even know how to say thank you. tsk tsk... that is shameful of him.
@SimpleBB (1329)
• Philippines
11 May 11
You're right, he is shameless. But while I'm reading your story, something came to my thoughts. As you said, he's not doing it only once but always, and not to only one person but to those people he knows. He even doesn't know or bother to acknowledge whatever he got from these people. Why? because, perhaps he used to do it and consider it as their responsibility to give him and not a favor anymore. I have nothing against helping people, but you see, he is capable of working but he's not, and your father here is exerting so much effort and time for your living. Yes, it's true, it is also bad..to tolerate his lazyness. There is also a saying that if you really concern of someone's benefit, it's a good deed to give fish or food at first, but teach him to learn fishing for him to be able to live. Let him stand in his own.., though sometimes we could not just ignore especially when they are our loved ones. But still, if we love them, teach them for them to live even without us. Just an opinion. Happy mylotting.
@jingrade (20)
• Philippines
11 May 11
your day is such a nice person, i gave credit to your dad for being nice... my grandfather is also like him, before i hated my grandfather for being so kind. its better to give than to receive as the saying goes but.. giving every time is too much. its just my opinion,maybe one day your dad's cousin will realize that he too can gain money by himself.
• United States
11 May 11
You dad is very honorable by trying to help his family. However, he will never be able to be successful in his business. They more he makes the more his uncle will take from him. He needs to stop this now before it gets out of hand!
• Philippines
11 May 11
Talk to your dad. Tell him that what he is doing is not helping the cousin. Tell your dad to show some "tough love" (help him by letting him stand on his own). Probably start by hiring him or something since you said your family have a business. If they don't stop giving him money, he will turn to you (nieces and nephews) and ask from you. What would he do if you do not give him his money? Is he going to hurt you...those are concerns that will cross your mind... So have a heart to heart talk with your dad and grandma, and everyone he asks money to.
@whengcat (1457)
• Philippines
11 May 11
Try to talk it out with your father, and suggest to stop giving money to that man. Maybe by doing so, this man will learn how to work and earn for his own. He indeed is a very shameless man, much worse than a parasite
• Philippines
11 May 11
I can totally relate to your situation. My Dad is one of the most generous person I could probably know ever. He always try to help out people as much as he could. Some really deserve to be helped out. However, there are just some people who are plain lazy and would not even be grateful. :)
• United States
11 May 11
wow! your father sounds like a really wonderful person. His cousin should count himself lucky that he even knows someone like that. And yes he should work or at least be grateful and do some chores around your house or something.