Parents or Boyfriend
By dream_ozn
@dream_ozn (1754)
Singapore
May 11, 2011 10:07am CST
I have been with my current boyfriend for the past 5 years. And since the very beginning, my parents are disapproved of us. My dad called the police, scolded me, wanted to disown meI have even been kicked out of the house, and i stayed with my godparents for one year and then moved to stay with my boyfriend for 2 years. I have recently moved back home.
But, my parents still dislike my boyfriend, to the extend that they don't allow him to our house and don't even want to see him at all.
I am really in a dilemma. On one hand i know my parents love me, but I love my boyfriend very much too.
What will you do it you were me? Parents or boyfriend.
2 people like this
17 responses
@AdalieM (1134)
• United States
11 May 11
There's gotta be a reason as to why your parents don't like your boyfriend. Did he hurt you in the past? Why not talking to your parents about it? I am sure there's a reason why they don't like him.
I just think is selfish when parents don't want their kids to grow up and have a life for themselves, you are old enough to make your own decisions, if you think your boyfriend is worth losing your family, go for it. Five years is a long time, I am sure you know him very well by know, don't doubt, don't second guess, if I were you and I was REALLY sure that I wanted to be with him, I will stay in the relationship even if it means, not talking to my family ever again.
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
12 May 11
i strongly suggest not to disregard your parents like not talking to them anymore. you can try talking to your boyfriend about how your parents perceive him as and suggest to prove them they're wrong.
i am afraid that there is more to this than the reasons they have against him but please, please, do not severe the ties to your parents.
1 person likes this
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
13 May 11
I don't want to sever ties with my parents too.
But when i ask my mum recently about the reasons why they hate him again, she said it's the same thing i told you years back.
It will take some time to prove my parents wrong. Only when my boyfriend makes some big money. Furthermore, when they don't even want to see this person, how can they observe how he treats me?
I sometimes don't know why must my parents be like that.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
12 May 11
He did not hurt me. My boyfriend used to work in my dad's shop last time and it was then that my dad decided that he don't like him. I think one factor is we are Singaporean but my boyfriend is a Malaysian and they feel I deserve better. He says he is someone who takes things the easy way out and don't work hard. He also says that he has heard people saying he is not faithful.
My mum added that his education is low, with only high school cert while i am currently in college. She asks me whether I want to be with such a man. However, i think that if this guy really loves me, what has it got to do with age, or qualifications. Isn't it important to find someone who love us?
I really don't know whether my boyfriend is worth it or not. i'm afraid that i will make the wrong decision. I think i want to choose my boyfriend. But every time, i'm worried: What happen if i make the wrong decision? I know life's a gamble and sometimes we just can't think too mcuh.
Yes, I have been together with him for 5 years. My boyfriend worked in my dad's shop for a short 6 months and i believe i know him much better than my parents.
Yes, i shouldn't doubt, should not guess.
But do you think i am unfilial if i don't talk to my parents ever again? Because we stopped communicating for close to 3 years and i felt bad that I should not be like that.
1 person likes this
@olepmis (840)
• Philippines
11 May 11
What is in your boyfriend that your parents disapproved of? Your parents want you to have a good future with the right man. Is your boyfriend has a job? How he has treated you? etc. Sometimes we cannot see the real things because we are blinded with our love to our boyfriend. We follow our heart 100% without using our head? 
Good luck whichever is your decision.
Good luck whichever is your decision.@olepmis (840)
• Philippines
12 May 11
Sometimes parents are not perfect so if you think that your boyfriend has a stable job and loves you the way you do then go for him. You will be the one who will marry and not your parents and it is your life. Just be honest to your parents and tell them how you feel about your boyfriend and ask their permission politely that you really love your boyfriend no matter what. 
1 person likes this
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
13 May 11
I wish my parents were as understand as you are.
I find that my parents just want me to listen to them. That their thinking is correct and want me to listen to them. They don't want to lose face, especially my dad. I think he also cannot accept that his ex-staff is dating his girlfriend.
Be honest with me parents? Do you mean telling them that i love my boyfriend and will not break up with him?
1 person likes this
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
12 May 11
Yes, my mum also mentioned that she wants me to have a higher standard of living and someone who is better educated. I am in University but my boyfriend has finished is studies and is currently working as an optician. His education level is about high school.
I think my boyfriend has treat me good. He dotes on me and loves me very much. Yes, I believe I am blinded with love and i can't see my boyfriend as clearly. But the reason my mother gives are quite material and I don't see the reason behind them too.
Those points that they did not like about him were 5 years ago stuff and they remember it until now. Apart from his income and his education level, they say that he is not committed and will easily find other girls. However, this few years when i'm with him, i see no such thing.
Big problem for me :(
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
12 May 11
Where do you feel more at home, with your parents or with your boyfriend? That's where your home Really is. Go live there. just tell the other party that you love them too but home is where the heart is. Follow your bliss.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
12 May 11
All of us need love And support. Unless your boyfriends miss treats you and your parents Know about it, There is no good excuse not to be cordial. They should be able to support you even when they disagree with your choices.
If you stay Just because you are afraid to go , soon you will resent whomever you are staying with. That's why I say Follow your bliss/ your heart. Try being with him. You shouldn't have to be ignored at home! I know it takes courage to follow your heart, you can get hurt. So I wish all the luck in the world. Take Care.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
13 May 11
Nope, my boyfriend don't mistreat me. I don't think my parents even know how he treats me.
Yes, it really takes a lot of courage. If i break up with my boyfriend just because my parents ask me to do so, i will definitely regret it and hate my parents too. Being at home now, i feel really lonely and i don't really feel like talking to my too. I can't talk freely. How i wish I can share my feelings with my mum. But sad to say, i can't.
Right, i'll listen to your advise.
THank you
1 person likes this
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
12 May 11
Your response is short but really sweet.
To answer your question, I feel more at home when I'm with my boyfriend. till today, my dad is unwilling to speak to me and i feel very uncomfortable when he is around and i believe he have the same feeling too.
Yes, although my parents have a big house, but it getting 'colder' and 'colder' here.
Thank you. I will learn to follow my heart! :)
1 person likes this
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
12 May 11
Not for a girlfriend or boyfriend, no.
To me there is a huge massive difference between a 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend', and a wife or husband.
A husband or a wife, is someone that you pledge your life with. That you dedicate yourself to for as long as you both live.
A boyfriend, or girlfriend... um... that's someone you hang out with, until you determine whether you want to pledge your life to them. "boy/girl friend" is the interview application process you go through before you get hired. (except more romantic than that, and more serious). There will always be another boyfriend, and another girlfriend around the corner. There's dozens of them.
But there should only be one husband... one wife.
So no, I'm not going to tare apart my family, my relationship with my parents and brothers and sisters over a boyfriend, or a girlfriend. You'll regret that choice for the rest of your life.
On the other hand, if you really intend to marry him, then do so. Once you are married, then you are married, and it doesn't matter what your parents say. When you marry, that other person becomes the most important person in your world. My wife comes first. Before children. Before parents. Before friends. Before anyone. She is #1 in my life.
So, if I had a 'girlfriend' for 5 years, and my parents disapproved, the first thing I'd do is figure out if I intended to marry them.
Is this who I want to spend my life with? Not do I "feel" like I love them. Feelings change.
If no, then I'm going to break up with my girlfriend.
If yes, then I'll ask this a question 'why do my parents dislike her'? Most parents love their children. Most parents have been around longer than their children.
Most parents know something about what makes a good wife, or husband, than their children do. So why don't they like my girlfriend?
Then I'll have to carefully consider that reason. Are they right? Will I regret being with her?
However, if I then determine she will be my wife, then we're getting married, and soon. And you go in completely. And best of luck.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
13 May 11
Are you too young because of your country? Your culture? Or do you think you are too young because you think so?
For thousands of years people got married when they were 16 years old. It's still common for people in the US to get married when they are 18.
If you really believe you are too young to get married then it is true. It is true because you think it's true. And you know, or should know that marriage is very very hard. It's not all loves and kisses, on a bed of flowers for life. It's hard work.
And you also know that you will have to be mentally prepared to handle the harshness of your parents. And you must not take out any frustration with them, on your boyfriend. Sounds easy, but you'll find that hard.
But just so you know... I support you. I think you should marry this man, and you should just be as loving as you can to your parents even if they don't like it.
It sounds to me like you have thought this through enough to know what you are doing. Go for it. and don't look back.
Best to you hon! :)
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
13 May 11
Thank you for your response andy.
My family relationship has been torn apart 5 years back because of me. Because i insisted that i wanted to be with my boyfriend. At that time, i admit i was rebellious. I wanted to show my parents that they are wrong. But now, i really love my boyfriend and think that he treats me well too.
I decided to move home a few months ago, wanting to repair the relationship in my family. However, i now realise that it is almost impossible to do so. The relationship between me and my mum, me and my dad can be repaired only when i break up with my boyfriend. I can see that they don't want to treat me good because I am still with my boyfriend and they are holding back on certain things.
Since the relationship is already broken, and it seems impossible to change it.. Should i continue trying to mend the broken net with my family? Or should i just heck and do what i want to do?
Yes, I do want to spend the rest of my life with this boyfriend of mine. However, being a girl, i still am afraid that i will make the wrong choice.
Parents indeed have been around longer than me and i respect that they will see things that i don't. However, i think they should at least try to open their heart and at least talk to my boyfriend. I don't really like the way my parents handle this situation. But i don't have a choice too.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
13 May 11
yes, this guy has the intention of marrying me. He has told me many times that I am the right one for him. During this 5 years, he has told me he wants to get married and hope that I can get married to him as he wants to start a family.
However, i am only 21 this year and find that i'm still to young. ALthough i want to marry this man, i think I would want to wait till maybe another 1 or 2 more years. Furthermore, I'm still studying.
During this year's valentine's day, he planned to buy a ring and propose to me. However, his plan was spoiled because I moved home during Chinese new year and our relationship was facing a difficult period. I have asked him before why has he not buy me a ring yet. He says that he wants to confirm that i will say yes before he want to commit to asking me for my hand.
Just a few days ago, he has asked me again when i want to marry him. It might be informal, but i can feel his sincerity (i not sure too!)
I have told him before in the past that if he wants to ask me to be my wife, i expect a formal one :)
Yes, i owe it to my parents for raising me and i don't want to be unfilial. Yes, they are in no obligation to accept my boyfriend, to talk to him.
You are right, it was a mistake in the past to have left home like that. My parents would definitely feel that it was because of this guy that i became so daring. It can't be undone and i would pray for anyway to re-introduce him again.
However, i doubt its an easy task. My boyfriend used to work in my dad's shop and they knew each other first.
@whateva (786)
• India
11 May 11
I would talk to my parents and tell them its really important to you that they get to know your boyfriend and your parents should be able to trust him so , this is important ya.
Do your parents know you've been with him for 5 years, its a big deal and congrats, uhm i believe your parents would come to approve your relation once you people are married, but thats far.
So i suggest, love your parents unconditionally like you should, don't leave your boyfriend and avoid any kinda conflict between your parents and boyfriend before marriage.
Parents usually have no choice then to accept the guy after marriage, because they love you and no matter what can't live without you.
1 person likes this
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
12 May 11
I have tried talking to my mum many times. But everytime we'll end up quarreling. I hope my parents can trust him, but they are not even willing to see him once.
I believe they should know we've been together for 5 years. I did not tell them explicitly, but they knew when we started being together. They should get 5 years if they counted.
Indeed, it's not really easy to spend 5 years with a person and it's because he dotes on me and cares for me which is why i am able to be together with him so long. I wonder if my parents will really accept once we get married. They are really extremely opposed to him and that i don't even mention about him at all when i'm home.
Love my parents unconditionally? It's really difficult for me to do that knowing my mum dislikes my meeting of him. No conflict. I sometimes go over to my boyfriend place overnight. What do you think of it?
I think my parents do have a choice because they kicked me out of the house 4 years ago and we stopped contacting as well. My parents still have my brother and i believe they love him much more
1 person likes this
@guile118 (57)
• Egypt
11 May 11
parents always see what we dont see,i think they have godd reasons for hating him and they have their reasons but they only care about you so if he were a good boy they wouldnt object to your realtion,try to find what their reasons are and make him try to be closer and be on a good realtion with your family,but if it is him or them i think you should choose them
1 person likes this
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
12 May 11
They have their reasons for hating him. Yes, and that I might not see. My boyfriend used to work at my dad's shop and it's at that period we got together. My dad did not like it because he felt that an employee should not be dating with the boss's daughter. He fired him straightaway once he knew we were dating. That was 5 years ago. What they dislike about his was all 5 years ago. They did no know what has happened during this 5 years, how we lived and how well he treated me.
They find that he is not a good boy saying that he will find other girls easily and is not committed. I asked my mum again why they still hate him and she said that it is the same as previously. It is very difficult for me to be on good relationship with my family when my dad refuses to speak to me and they will show a face whenever i meet my boyfriend.
I understand you saying i should choose my parents over him because parents are for life, but not boyfriend. However, the problem is I think my boyfriend makes a good husband and he'll dote on me.
1 person likes this
@urbandekay (18278)
•
11 May 11
What reasons do your parents have to dislike this particular individual?
all the best urban
@urbandekay (18278)
•
12 May 11
If you love and trust this boy you should sit your parents down. Explain that you love him and that you intend to be with him and say that you hope they will accept him
all the best urban
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
12 May 11
My boyfriend used to work in my dad's shop for 6 months and after knowing that we were together, he said he did not like this guy because his work attitude was poor.
He says this man takes things the easy way out and does not work hard. However, being with my boyfriend for the past 5 years, i don't think this is the case. My dad also feels that he is with me because he wants to cheat our money.
My dad also says he is not the faithful type. Furthermore, he earn enough but not to have a lavish life. (Because my parents are quite rich) My mum mentions she hope that i can have a man who can provide me with material need too. reason that money is very important and i need to find someone who can earn more money. I am currently in college and my boyfriend is working as an optician. My boyfriend only has high school cert and my mum feels that i deserve better.
However, all their prejudices were made five years ago. But they are still standing firm on what they think. spending time together for the past 5 years with my boyfriend, i think i know him better than my parents.
really need help.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
13 May 11
I have tried it before, Talking to my mum (because my dad is unwilling to do so).
But it always end up in quarrel and i find that my mum don't understand me at all. She just keep insisting her point and there is no point continue talking. I have tried to explain that he treats me very well. But no use.
Haiz.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
11 May 11
you had been with your boyfriend, and been away for many years, why did you go back to your parents? was it because of financial support? that would not be fair for your parents if that is the case.
how then were you able to go back to your parents? did your boyfriend allow you? how come he did allow you when you were with him for many years already?
you had made a decision long time ago in choosing your boyfriend. but why did you go back to your parents?
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
12 May 11
I went back home because my parents were asking me to move back home to stay with them again. It's wasn't because of financial support. Few months ago I felt that they were my parents ultimately and i want a better relationship between us. However, after moving back for these few months, I feel quite unhappy.
Although my boyfriend was sad that i wanted to try moving back home, he supported me too. Saying that I should try repairing the relationship with my parents. And he also mentioned that he don't want me to blame him in the future.
Yes, I made the decisions to choose my boyfriend. But being 21 this year, i was reconsidering my decision again. I wanted to try to make my parents accept my boyfriend but i realize that it's really almost an impossible task.
Finally, my mum has been asking me to go back home to stay after like 3 years and i find that because they are my parents, i should go back and stay.
What do you think?
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
12 May 11
your parents have different opinions and stand on the matter compared to me.
i love my children but i will not impose anything when they reach an age that they can already support themselves. after all it is their lives, not mine. the only thing i can do is to give advices or pieces of admonition.
if you are in a relationship and you both can support yourselves then why stop both of you? it is always, i believe, happening that parents see some flaws on the bf or gf but there is nothing a parent can do about the relationship. parents should not stop it especially if the bf or gf is treating their child right.
even if you marry the guy and they do not like him still, there is nothing to be done. it would be unfair of them to ask you to leave your bf.
1 person likes this
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
13 May 11
Hi Bingskee,
How i wish i have a parent like you. I am currently still studying but i do give some tuition to earn some money. However, during the past years when i was staying with my boyfriend, we had enough to survive.
You are right, parents can give advise but ultimately it is their child who will make the final decision. But, my parents are not happy with them. If i don't listen to them, them won't want to talk to me and to have a good relationship with me anymore. Plus, what my parents think of my boyfriend is already 5 years back. Their perceptions of him are all out-dated and why can't they just try to see this guy again, for their daughter's happiness. Do they know that because they are so insistent, they are making it very miserable for me?
It is really unfair, but i'm in such a situation where my parents say its them or him.
1 person likes this
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
12 May 11
Wow, what a horrifying situation! But your parents are wrong, if you are with the guy for 5 years they should do some efforts, if they are not doing they are thinking in them selves not you. What did this guy did wrong? Now if he robbed or was a criminal you should get out, they probably won't change.
But if the guy is okay and I'm sure you know him as it has been 5 years: choose YOUR happiness always.
I know in many cases parents are not selfless, there are many parents that push a career, a guy, everything to their daughters, and the daughter end up unhappy. Don't let that happen to you, stand up for what you believe.
I wouldn't go back home if I were you.
The guy, if I he is good is your future, you parents, your past.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
13 May 11
That's what i think too. My parents are only thinking about themselves and not for me, not for their daughter.
To my mum, a good husband would be one who earn a lot of money, can hire a maid for me, can buy me a big house and have high educational qualification. But, to me, these are all material stuff and i think they won't make me really happy in the long run.
This guy did nothing wrong. He used to work in my dad's shop for a short 6 months and upon know we were dating, my dad immediately fired him and started saying all his bad things.
Yes, i should choose my own happiness. I am the one getting married and i should be the one who choose who is my husband. WHat's the point of having a rich boyfriend who don't really loves you? No point.
Why can't my parents just see that they are making their daughter very unhappy because of their insistent. Don't parents just want their child to be happy?
Thank you for your encouragement.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
12 May 11
Didn't you ever evaluate your boyfriend , as to what makes your parents dislike him so much?
Parents wants the best for their children. When they see that their children is apt for destruction, they will do all they can to prevent it.
In your case, i guess they see something bad in your boyfriend, that you refuse to admit to be wrong.
Parents cannot trade you for another, but boyfriends can when they see someone more interesting.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
12 May 11
I definitely evaluated my boyfriend and wondered whether what my parents said about him was true. That he won't be faithful etc.
Yes, i know my mum wants the best for me. However, to her, a good husband would be someone who is rich, who earn alot and have high qualifications. However, i really beg to differ from her view. I believe that we should marry someone who love us a lot and this surpass everything.
yes, they mentioned 5 years ago that my boyfriend is no good and he takes the easy way out and he is not hardworking. However, all these are 5 years ago thing but they are not willing to see something new. I understand that my parents wants the best for me. But don't you think it's important that your partner loves you? What the point of marrying someone who's rich but don't love you?
It is preciously because parents cannot be traded and they are for life where else boyfriends can be changed. And this is why i am so troubled by this. I just want to be happy and hope my parents can accept and support me.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
13 May 11
Sometimes i really give up talking to my mother because she have her own point and she is really stubborn. She feels that she is right and she is right. there is nothing i can say to change her view. Even asking her to have a dinner with him is something impossible.
When i say my boyfriend is good, my mum will say that he is acting so he can eventually eat the big fish. When i say he is nice, my mum will say he knows how to sweet talk girls and i need to be careful.
It is difficult to show his character when they are not even willing to meet him one.
Being rich is definitely not a good criteria. What's the point of having a rich boyfriend who don't love you as much?
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
12 May 11
So that's it, they want a rich boyfriend for you. 
Well, that is not a nice criteria for a boyfriend actually. Perhaps you could just have a talk with them and ask them what could make them change their attitude for your boyfriend. Insist on the good qualities of your boyfriend. Show to them that he is a responsible person and that he truly loves you. Maybe by that, at least they will little by little accept your relationship.
Well, that is not a nice criteria for a boyfriend actually. Perhaps you could just have a talk with them and ask them what could make them change their attitude for your boyfriend. Insist on the good qualities of your boyfriend. Show to them that he is a responsible person and that he truly loves you. Maybe by that, at least they will little by little accept your relationship. @greenmachine45 (430)
• United States
12 May 11
Are you the youngest? If so they might be having a hard time letting you go. Since this guy used to work for them maybe he has a history they know about that you may not. Maybe they heard he hops from girl to girl. I'm sure they are trying look out for you because they do love you. Is this guy a different race that they don't approve of? You shouldn't have to choose but your parents are your parents forever where relationships come and go.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
13 May 11
Not, i have another younger brother who is currently 10 this year. But this guy worked for my dad only for a short 6 months and that was like 5 years ago. Furthermore, it has been said that my dad cares about his face too much and don't want people to know that his daughter is dating his staff.
That's what my dad say, that he is unfaithful and will hops from girl to girl. However, my 5 years with him, i don't witness such a thing. My dad i doubt so too. It's just his feeling.
I know my parents love me and so they disapprove of him feeling that he is unable to provide me with a good life. But, what is a good life? to my mum, its' material beings and money. But to me, i beg to differ. I think it is important to marry someone who love me more.
I am from Singapore and this guy is from Malaysia. I guess that is also partly the reason why they don't like him too.
Yes. I know parents are parents and this is a relationship that will never change and that boyfriend and girlfriends come and go. However, spending 5 years with this guy, i think he would make a good husband.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
13 May 11
Yes, Material things really don't matter in a relationship. I wonder what's the big deal about it that my mum needs to insist that we need to rely on material thing then we can be happy
@greenmachine45 (430)
• United States
13 May 11
As long as he has a job to help material things don't matter in a relationship.
@sweetme329 (500)
• Australia
12 May 11
Hi dream, I can understand your situation. You haven't mentioned the reason your parents hate your boyfriend. I won't say that your parents are wrong to dislike your boyfriend. Maybe your parents think that you could get someone better than the guy you are with now. Don't take them wrong. Maybe you should ask your boyfriend to make efforts to talk to your parents directly or indirectly and answer their queries.
Also, i won't say that your boyfriend is wrong. He has been with you for two years which is enough time to be able to know about each other. I think you should stick to your boyfriend but on the other hand you should keep trying to convince your parents about your boyfriend!
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
13 May 11
My parents do not even want to meet my boyfriend. I have tried requesting a dinner where both sides can sit down. But my parents refuses.
OK, why my parents dislike him. My boyfriend used to work in my dad's shop for a short 6 months and my dad immediately fired him upon know that we were dating. he did not like that fact that one of his staff is dating his daughter and for this, he find that this man takes things the easy way out and is not serious in doing work. Furthermore, according to my dad, he say that my boyfriend is not the faithful kind and cannot be trusted. He further mentions that this man is with me because he want to cheat our money.
My mum on the other hand, finds that a good husband should be one who have a high salary, handsome and has high educational qualifications. Otherwise, this man is not good because he won't be able to provide me with a good life.
however, to me, i beg to differ. I think we should choose our partner based on how much he love me and how much i love him. It's useless to get married to a rich man but who don't love you as much. I doubt i'll be happy that way.
Nope, i've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. And yes, i believe we have spend enough time together and i should know him better than my parents do. Their perception on him is based on those they have 5 years ago and they are still insistent on their views.
I really don't know what to do with my parents. ANd i have tried speaking to my mum about it, but she is really not opening up. When i say my boyfriend is good, my mum would say he is just lying to me. WHen i say my boyfriend treat me well, my mum says he's sweet-talking me and that i should be careful of such man. WHen i say my boyfriend is not forcing me to choose between the both, she will say that's his method of luring you.
What else can i say.
@redvakaurvaki (4216)
• Indonesia
13 May 11
There must be a reason why your dad dislike him right from the first time? Is he a bad boy? Is he a troublemaker or does he make a stupid mistake that unforgiven by your dad?This is hard decision especially when you decide to be with him when your parent dont give an approve. you will have hard life and everything will be easy. You must think twice to make best decision. If he's kind of responsible, trusty, lovely and good person -so here your parents made a mistake, you both must fight. In relationship, parents is most important thing, so it could be better if there's their approvement. For me, parents are more important but if I really love him, I will confuse too
@mantis36 (4219)
• Philippines
13 May 11
for what i know, the secret ingredients only for the Parents to agree with a girls boyfriend.... is for the girl to finish her studies first, get a good job, make her job permanent, make some additional strong source of income.....
and i am sure, plenty of boyfriends will come more greater than an old original one....
promise... its very effective....
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
13 May 11
Good. So i should just listen to my boyfriend?
The thing is, he is not forcing me to choose. He just asks me to make my own decision. I know he really loves me.
Dilemma.
@mantis36 (4219)
• Philippines
13 May 11
because you boyfriend knows you can make a right and capable to make decisions which are advantage to your plan.... your boyfriend knows that if you are not capable to make such decisions then it will also reflects to him, as, your achievement is also his achievement....
that is what i know as my own opinion.....
@tkonlinevn (6438)
• Vietnam
12 May 11
Why don't your parents accept him? You should think about their ideas if they against him for a long time. They must have some logical reasons.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
12 May 11
My boyfriend used to work in my dad for 5 years ago as an optician. On the day my dad found out that we were dating, he fired my boyfriend.
He then started telling that this this is cannot be trust and that he is one who takes the easy way out and grabs any girl on the way. My dad also feels that this guy is with me because he wants to cheat my family's money.
To my mum, she think a good husband is one who is rich and is able to earn alot of money and has good education qualification. However, for me, this is not my only criteria. I think that it is important to find someone who loves me to get married. I have talked to my mum about it again asking her to try and meet up with him to get to know this person again because all their prejudice dated back 5 years ago.
I really hope that they can accept me. But i see this is a long and arduous path.
@edb225112 (124)
• United States
11 May 11
First of all, how old are you? It takes time and experience to understand all the problems you present here. Why did you move out of your boyfriend's home and back with your parents? You had what you say you wanted - to be with your boyfriend. If you are not old enough to make these decisions for yourself - 18 or older, you need to get some professional help. Contact a psychologist or social worker who can help you see all the perspectives. If you are over 18, still get some professional help! You are making decisions which will effect the rest of your life.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
12 May 11
I'm currently only 21. I got together with my boyfriend when i was 16.
Yes, I admit that I'm still young and might not be the best person to understand and to know what's best for me. Yes, this is one big problem for me and something that will affect the rest of my life. Which is why I am so trouble about it.
@Kimimaro666 (14)
• United States
12 May 11
I'd go with the person I love. Screw my parents if they don't approve. Who you love is you love and they can't change that and they've no say in the matter either. It's your life. Your parents should be happy for you and, even if they don't like him, at least support you. Things like that really annoy me.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
12 May 11
Thank you for your encouragement. I should really screw them because i know I love this man and he too.
Indeed, it's mine life, I choose the person I'm going to marry, not them. It's me who is going to spend the rest of my life with my husband and i think i should have the right to choose who i want to be with.
I really hope my parents can understand that i want them to at least try to understand the position I am in and that it is because of them disliking my boyfriend, it has made me very unhappy.
They are not a least bit happy for me. In fact, they are extremely angry with me. Neither do they support me. My mum had mentioned that if gonna marry this man, they will stop supporting me in all ways. To them, a good husband is someone who has high education and high pay, but i beg to differ.
