compromise

I wonder if all those who are now ok with the couple truly feel comfortable seeing them that way. I don't think so. Then why the hypocrisy. Is a relationship that important if one has to compromise on one's own principles?

I guess life is a compromise anyway. Sometimes we have to loose or even chuck our own principal for a better relationship and for a better peace of mind.

Life is a one big happy song if one is able to stick to one's principles!

Yes, I’m becoming sure of this now, after reading inputs from you and Vandana. Previously, I thought that it was only in the Abrahamic religions where marriage between first cousins was allowed. But now I see that in India too in many states, people approve of marriage between first cousins or between uncles and nieces.

Sudipta, It is an old custom in our state among Hindus. Now the trend is changed and the cousin marriage occurs very rarely

Marriage between brothers' children is a no no and the lack of resistance only shows how indifferent one is these days. The entire family including uncles, aunts, cousins, et al show no signs of disappointment.

Hi Kala, Yes, I know that genetic aberrations are more likely if the union is between first cousins. In fact, with my limited knowledge, I was once proud that we Hindus understood this long time back while the Abrahamic religions (which ratify first cousin marriages) obviously lack this scientific knowledge. However, as much as I see amongst the Christians (Muslims are more cloistered, so I know and see less of them), I don’t see genetically sick children or defective kids born from parents who are first cousins. Also, as much as I read here (though I did hear of this before, just couldn’t believe it)…it seems many Hindu communities in India, approve of marriages between first cousins or between uncles and nieces!!! So, where does that leave our science, Kala?

Hindu communities did permit and some people still accept marriages between cousins [they should be a boy's son and his sister's daughter[the reason they quote is that the Gotra is not the same [people of same gotra cannot marry and normally they follow this up to 7 generations].However, here too I have heard a doctor strongly condemn marriages between cousins and he said that many of his Muslim patients had come to him with eye defects. Strangely, his daughter went against his wishes and married her first cousin. Science does its good work and produces results from statistics SUdipta. I know personally that whenever my niece [ a girl with special needs and also a terminal illness later on and now who is no more] was taken to the hospital the first question asked by doctors was whether he parents were related before marriage. FInally it is all in GOd's hands. But it is definitely advisable not to marry close cousins especially if they intend getting children.

Even if the first child could look normal, its progeny will suffer for generations to come. You can see the Parsi community where these kind of marriages are rampant and one sees so many disabled children there. Apart from this the very thought of cousins going beyond like this only will make every one uncomfortable when they are left alone.

You have understood the situation perfectly well. But I am surviving with no support from anyone.

It is not just one of their kids but the progeny that will be affect and it is for this reason such marriages are considered illegal. But what baffles me is how the family could have accepted it so soon without batting an eyelid!

Please read it as 'that will be affected'

There is more here than worrying about what will happen to their kids. It is the attitude of one parent who in fact encouraged it and then there is the indifference from every other member in the family so to say 'why should we bother. They are not our children'.These two were close to me and I still love them but I have decided that I will have nothing to do with them.

I wonder at the indifferent attitude of those who really should be worried of the consequences. It is no longer safe to let cousins be on their own - an additional worry for the parents!

I am neutral in that I have nothing to do with them. There is plenty of fish in the ocean not just relatives these days that one needs to cling on to!

It is the way this whole thing was handled.The indifference was suffocating! And no Hatley, marriage between Brothers' children is considered medically dangerous for their progeny.

What is baffling is that no one is bothered about it save poor me.This indifference is killing. I just cannot accept it and I have made that clear. They are not in my life any more and I prefer it that way. It is no longer safe to leave cousins to be on their own.

It is not just the fact that they are now married but the way they got about it. No one would suspect them if they were left alone. They took advantage of the situation and actually hoodwinked all of us. I just cannot get over it. Parents would have to worry about letting cousins on their own in future.

I blame the mother of the girl and from what one sees she encouraged it it looks like now. What is not legal is considered a crime. It is too late now and I still do not feel comfortable accepting them.

Medically brothers' children marrying is not acceptable as it will affect their progeny apart from the moral aspect of it. It is no longer safe it seems to me to let cousins be on their own not knowing what they would be up to. Very sad.

We are now in an era where these things matter It is frightening and 'why should I bother' kind of attitude is going to destroy this world. Sadly, this attitude is here to stay.