I must be built totally differently.

i never hold grudges, i do not like the feeling of mad at someone, nor someone mad at me either. It is a heavy feeling that i really dislike, but what if someone wronged me and i was hurt? it happened and i still forgave him.. and i forgot all about it. sounds naive or stupid but i did and we are happier than before and when i made a mistake, he also forgave me and forgot about it. Life is short to hold grudges or be bitter.. but it is easier said than done, it took us time to heal and forget but we did. but i never really think of revenge or whatsoever. life must go on and life must be enjoyed...

Yes you are different Sarah! I've known that about you, since I've met you hear in myLot. And that does not necessarily mean it's a bad thing. It is also hard for me to forgive anyone. I hold a grudge, and it takes a while before I ease off. But not thinking about the people that wrong me, does help.

Hi... I think I am kind of just like you... I too can't forgive some people who have been indecent and dishonest to me. I just can't forgive! Whatever the theories or psychological explanations they have got, I can't... Its impossible for me to forgive, for example, my first girl friend. A girl who ditched me because she got someone who was earning more than me... I just can't forgive her... In my last e mail to her, I wrote, 'God will never forgive you for what you've done and even if He does, I WON'T'... Don't know why, her memories are so torturing... it disturbs me for quite some time... It has given me 2 disturbed years in my life... I can't forgive that girl....

I see where you are coming from on this because I am the same way. I don't know as I'd go as far as to say it was "forgiving" the person but I do find a way to get over and beyond it, Even if it is a person such as my ex husband who was violent and hurtful...I don't want to be his best buddy but I did find a way to get beyond the hurt to where I could be civil with him and "feel nothing" towards him ...no anger, no hurt, no need for revenge, nothing. I guess in a way that could be considered forgiving because there is no anger or bitterness.

No! I can't forgive somebody who has done wrong things to me badly. Ignore those psychiatrists who asks you to forget and forgive everything. Will they let you free if you don't pay their bills? LOL! Forgetting is the best gift, the mankind has but I won't like to forgive those culprits. Just erase them from our life and they won't haunt our feelings.

I am so much like you at the past. I don't give apologies to people who don't ask them. I don't give a damn of their existence, they simply just don't exist for me. Ideally, that would be a perfect revenge. But what if the person does not ask for apology because he never knew that he had done you wrong in the first place? What if he is not that sensitive enough of your feelings that he failed to see that you are hurting? Honestly, it is more beneficial not to carry any emotional burden towards a person.. even apathy will burden us in the long run. I have been there and it sucks, believe me! Eventually, you get tired of not bothering at all. It is just my take on this.PEACE.

Honestly I'm the same way. I'm a major grudge-holder and I'm just not able to forgive people who have truly wronged me and mine.

I am the same way...out you go! I don't give second chances unless it's family..but if you hurt me....you are a goner. I don't know if I forgive or not...they just disappear.

sarahruthbeth You are different as I hated my father for taking advantage oe me as a little 8 year old c hild and molesting me simply because he was needy and my mom was in the hospital. I had no idea why or what he was doing except he hurt meand I cried and he stopped.but I knew inside he did something wrong and from then on I never ever let myself be alone in the house with him.my husband saw that hatred was making me ill so he suggested I forgive my dad and tell him that and ask him why he hurt me. I did go and I told him I forgave him for molesting me but wanted to knoiw why. he turnedred and refused to answer mrl.but a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. hating someone does not hurt them it only hurts you.Dr phil was really right for most of us.And too how can you write off the man who gave you life much as you may dispise him he is youor father so I respected him that much but disliked him;I forgave him for my sakd not his.To hold a grudge soes not hurt anyone but you.

I don't carry any bitterness with me either, but I don't forget and I do leave them to their own. There are things that I allow in my life and there are things that I don't. The thing is that when I allow someone to stay in my life after they have purposely hurt or deceived me..I feel like I'm just asking for another helping. The old saying somes to mind..my grandfather used to say it too...Fool me once..shame on you...fool me twice..shame on me.

Dr. Phil is a moron, He might feel that way I sure don't. He thinks he is the only voice of reason in the world. Like I said a moron. I am like you, I do not forgive, I write people off in a second. I do not look back and move on. That's it. I also do not apologize if it is something that I know I am right with.

What Dr. Phil says is easier said than done. I would love to forgive and forget but it's just not possible for me. Maybe we are built differently as you say. Unfortunately people rarely know how to teach us to forgive. It's an emotional and mental process, and I haven't figured it out yet.

For me yes I can truly forgive even if that person is not sincere enough to ask forgiveness, for me it's not my problem anymore, I have done my part to forgive and I'm at peace. God does not look whose fault it is but He sees those who humble themselves. I always inculcate that in my mind so I can live a peaceful life.

we live only once..thats why, we should learn how to forgive ourself and other people.it may take some time but that's okay. time can heal..Goodluck!

Forgiveness means I won't dwell On the situation, but it does not mean that I am going to let a hurtful person into my life.

I've the same feeling for that person who really hurt me & will never make a genuine apology for the crime. I think i even get worst for it & even dont want to listen the apologies of the person. I know it may be wrong for me as well as for the person but i learned it from my past experience that if i forgive all sins it is no sure that he/she will never do it again in life ever. May be ur tendency to forgive may vary from person to person but it also depends upon the work did & the level of hate. U discussed that according to DR. Phil hatred will eat u up inside, it may but only when u use to think about ur hurt & hate. Forgiveness is like again joining the ends of thread after breaking which always have knot.