Torn: What would you do if you are his sister?

You should really give him the reality check where the point is that he has a girlfriend giving her trust to him. Don't let him go to the point where he's gonna have to choose in the end or regret what he has been doing now. That also he should think about what his girlfriend's gonna feel when she find's out. They were out for 8 yrs and i can tell he is very happy with her. No one can change a relationship that long.. .

hard hard hard.. torn between telling the truth and loyalty to your brother. Hmmm corner him again and tell him it isn't right and as a girl you know how it feels like to be treated that way and tell him what if it happens to you. he might come to his senses! it is not fair and it is not right.

You know my brother was cheating on the girl he supposedly truely loved, with two other girls. He wasn't doing anything but just testing who's right for him i guess?? i don't know. earlier he used to cry for this girl and then he started abusing her and started saying the girl in other state is more loyal and good and stuff. To me it seemed like he was no more interested in the old girl. I felt bad for her as she was really sweet or it seemed like it :p and i was 16, i didn't know any better then to say and do right things so, i told her that my brother playing the two timing thing on you and they broke up. My brother stopped talking to me and well he cried :/ he then said he loved the girl he abused so much. :| complicated right? argh then he broke up with the other two girls and got into a serious relationship once again but, this time th eold girl came back and my brother started the two timing thing again. :| He said i truely love the old girl who left because of you and i love this present girl as well. :| when i told him to choose one and be honest to both of them, he said it isn't easy for him and he was actually seemed pretty emotional for both. he is kind of a frequent liar and used to say that tell the old girl i'm in hospital or be rude to her because really she interfering alot and i love this new girl and it was all so confusing. I wanted the best for both so i wanted her to go away , cous i wanted this new girl safe now because she was innocent and all. Also, i had found some bad things about the old girl, whom i asked to break up with my brother in past. So i chose the innocent one this time. After a year he breaks up with the new girl and goes back to the old girl andplans to marry her. But, now for some reason that girl is very rude to me. :p

That's a tough position where you are at sister. On one hand you know that your brother is wrong but at the end of the day, you are still your brother. Have you tried talking to his girlfriend? I guess there is a way to connect with her without putting your brother in a precarious situation.

hi.. if i were on your shoes, i would tell her girlfriend. it may sounds unfair to your brother, but it would be much more unfair to her girlfriend. we dont have any proof yet, so it would be much better if you talk on a calm environment! been confronted with same situation, wat i did was the right thing! be honest!

You have quite a dilemma there laydee. It does not mean that if he's my brother I will just tolerate his infidelity with another woman. I will really tell the girlfriend that my brother is fooling around here. I can empathize with her because I am also a woman and it would be really hurtful to know that someone she loves and trusts is betraying her. Long-distance relationship will just work if both parties remain loyal and truthful with each other.

Advice and knock some sense into him. Although it's only a casual friendship , harmless flirting or other terms to it , there are feelings involved. Meaning , once when your brother's girlfriend comes back from abroad , he might already have developed feelings for this other girl and then the hard part comes that he has to choose between the two. That is if the matter becomes complicated. But if he just casually goes out with friends and is very assured of his feelings for his girlfriend , then there's nothing much to worry about. You are a good sister and wants the best for him and his girlfriend. Respect you for that. Not many sisters out there look out for the best interests of their brother's love life. And you are having these thoughts , means you are a level-headed and fair person , towards your brother's girlfriend. Just keep on advising your brother and make him understand how would he feel if his girlfriend does this to him instead. These flings have to stop for sure. Anyway , matters of the heart is very complicated and confusing. If your brother chooses this girl over his long-time girlfriend , it's his choice to make although it's not going to be a very wise choice. Hope he comes to his senses soon.

I wld tell your brother first that you dont agree with what he did and he needs to come clean. She can come back, they can get married, start a fam and when the truth finally comes out or he does it again there will be more to this situation. He needs to tell her what happend and let her decide if she wants to be with him. Cheating is wrong and if you know this happend someone needs to let this girl know. I wldnt tell her without confronting your brother first and letting him know if you dont tell her by this date than Im telling her myself. Also you need to be in the room with him when he tells her so he dosent lie to you. once he tells her than you can talk to her and tell her how much you and your fam like her and how you understand if she wants nothing to do with anyone for awhile. The main thing is he broke her trust. She wld be marrying someone she dosent know anymore. She need sto know the truth and your brother needs to come clean. If he didnt want to look like a bad guy he shldnt have been a bad guy.

If I was in the same situation as you, laydee, I would tell his girlfriend. She needs to know that he is not being faithful to her. I wouldn't be able to let her go on thinking that he is her knight in shining armour when he clearly isn't. She may be quietly planning their future together based on his fidelity. Long distance romances only work when there is complete trust on both sides. He cannot really love or respect her if he is having flings here, there and everywhere because she is out of sight, out of mind! XJane

I've read about other comments on this and most would say that you tell the truth to your brother's gf but I'd tell you otherwise. I know that somehow you feel guilty knowing that your brother is cheating on his girlfriend but I think that you have done enough in reminding him that he shouldn't do that. You have to trust him when he said there's nothing to worry about. Let them settle their matters once the girl comes home. If will be much difficult for her to cope with the truth while she's abroad and there's no family or a friend to comfort her.Trust me about this because I have a sister who works abroad. Whenever we tell her about a problem here, even if we assured her that she need not worry about it,she would think too much to the extent of not getting to sleep. Don't get yourself too much involved and let them resolve their problem because whatever will happen to them in the long run is their own responsibility. You have done your part and that's it, just let them be.

i think when two love people can't be together,it is difficult to have romantic relationship. truse each other is best way.

omg...that was really crazy, if i were his sister i will not tolerate it,i will give some sermon, i will tell him why he did that...and if his girlfriend find out the truth what would be happened? it was really hurt in the side of his girlfriend she just going away just for their future someday, to have a good life,then after all of this your brother just doing bad to their relationship?..that was really unfair to his gf, if i were you just communicate to your brother regarding the bad things he did.if he can't stop it that's the time to tell to his gf what's your brother doing here,just tell her the truth,while the things young just do the action....goodluck.and gobless hope it will help you.