On being friends with an ex-boyfriend

Philippines
May 17, 2011 3:11am CST
I recently had a chat with a friend yesterday, and she poured out her frustrations with her friendship group whom she felt betrayed her, by going to the house of her ex-boyfriend for a get together. This guy is also one of their close friends, but when they broke up because of the guys' infidelity issue the group turned away from him and sympathized with my friend. When she learned that the group is again friends with the guy, she was so upset and as she put it, she felt so alone. I know that the issue is just between the two people: my friend and her ex-boyfriend, and the group is not supposed to be taking sides since both of them are their friends. If you were in the shoes of my friend, would you turn your back on your group of friends or just simply let it pass since it already happened? Her friends have known better by not let anything get in between them and the guy ex-boyfriend, though they respected my friend's decision of staying away from the guy. What do you think of it?
3 responses
hot_legs15
@hot_legs15 (132)
• Philippines
18 May 11
hi joanagirl! It happened to me also. My friend stole my ex-boyfriend. lol. Eventually, I learned to forgive them both and moved on with my life. With respect to what her group of friends did, I would let it pass. I have mutual friends from both parties- from my former friend and my ex-boyfriend, and I do not care if my friends will befriend them. It is their decision. Maybe your friend has not yet moved on. That is perfectly fine. Just allow her to heal and eventually she will understand that her issues against her ex-beau does not extend to her group of friends.
joanagirl
@joanagirl (44)
• Philippines
20 May 11
I believe she is still so in touch with her negative feelings with the outcome of her relationship. There are stages she still have to undergo. Like you, I know in time she can get over with her feelings and perhaps be even friends again with her former boyfriend. :)
bingskee
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
17 May 11
that is so childish to me. the issue is only about her and her ex. i think her friends have their own reasons in believing that there is nothing wrong befriending the ex.
joanagirl
@joanagirl (44)
• Philippines
18 May 11
I think so, too. But being a her friend too, I just listened. Somehow I made her feel better.
hpalm710
@hpalm710 (87)
• Philippines
18 May 11
i see nothing wrong with it. she could not blame her friends for making friends with her ex because after all, they have been close friends before their breakup. it is natural for her friends to sympathize with her but after that, the issue is all between her and her ex-boyfriend. But I understand that being a friend, you will feel for her. I believe when everything subsides and she could not feel the pain anymore, she will understand.