Everybody DESERVES to be HAPPY including ME
By xien2xien
@xien2xien (1382)
Philippines
May 18, 2011 12:08am CST
I know that i always commit a bad record as a lover, I was really never the perfect girl, i was always called the heart breaker chick, i knew that i was being the worst when i made my man cry when i turn to leave them for some nonsense reason.
I broke up with my first boyfriend, for a reason that all my friends are single so i leave the "in a relationship" stage just to be in the same circle as my friends
I broke up with my second boyfriend, just because my friend dare me to do so, in order to win the bet i decided to break his heart
I broke up with my third boyfriend, when a single friend doesn't seem to like him so in favor of this friend i leave him hanging with broken heart
I Broke up with my forth boyfriend, when my friend tends to love him and i can't afford to see her cry everytime she sees us
And for others who i turn down in favor of another parties and other nonsense reasons, i felt terrible when i look back at my past records, it seems that i was a terrible lover, though i did it in favor of some friends.
And now i'm in the stage of totally falling so much in love with someone, who, in good faith really loves, cares and accept me for who i am, i can't find the best word to describe this fulfillment i'm feeling right now, but then again a friend was asking me to leave this man for the reason that once upon a time she loves this man but this man never really love her or even atleast take a glance in her way, she was bitter with him so she wanted me to turn him down
I've always thought that i was the perfect friend for which i'm always doing everything to satisfy them and to make them happy with every single decision i'm making. But now i was actually thinking are these friend really loves me so much to the point that they were so possessive of me and my attention, or that they really don't love me for they were too selfish not to think of my own personal happiness.
It seems that i've spent my life making these friends happy, giving everything i have if they wanted it, but how about my own happiness? how about me? Did Everybody deserves to be happy and everybody INCLUDES ME right? 
1 person likes this
7 responses
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
18 May 11
Hi Xien2xien,
First, I would like to say that I admire how you cared much for your friends and their happiness. And I understand that it cost you much to sustain such relationship with them. And it even go beyond your personal happiness just to please and make them happy. It's really worth appreciating and I hope your friends sees that as something so sacrificial on your part...
Second, I would not want to be rude but I could see in you the "people-pleaser" character. You want to do things for your friends, for your loved ones I guess. The thing is no matter what we do, how much we've given up, and how many sacrifices we make, we just can't please every one. So give it up. And at times learn to say "NO".. I am not saying it's easy, because it really isn't, but it's not impossible.
Third, your relationship with the man you are referring now, should not be dependent on your friend's experience with him. Well, it might be that they didn't work out. I mean there's a lot of factors to consider in a relationship. And your friends just can't say "hey leave him, we don't want him" or "they'd broke us already, don't waste your time with him" that's so frantic and unfair for the man. It is up to you now. The relationship is between you and him. So explain that to your friends.
Fourth, of course you deserve to be happy. Isn't it the purpose why GOD created us? To enjoy the fullness of His creations? And stand in awe of His wonderful creations? Happiness is much more experienced after you decide to be so. Happiness sometimes involves decision. Deciding to be happy despite everything around you. Happiness is also a state of mind. So make it a decision to be happy.
Lastly, in whatever way you deem fit, communicate such grievances of yours to your friends. Real friends could be cruelly honest and say things in your face without any fear of breaking up. Real friends should be transparent and honest with each other. That is most manifested in communication. So let it be known to your friends. Everything, say it. Tell them how you feel about what they're asking from you. And be honest enough to tell them, that if you would do what they want, you will be compromising AGAIN your own happiness.
Hope will be well with you soon. God bless you and your relationships. Have a happy life!
chuyins
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
18 May 11
first of all i would like to express my greatest gratitude for your time reading and responding with my discussion.
second, i don't like to be proud of this attitude, i don't know if you still remember my past discussion, but one thing i can be proud of is that i'm a good friend, maybe i'm a crowd-pleaser cause i intended to make them happy and make them feel special as my friend, in some part, it was my choice to give up my own happiness just to please them, but i guess not this time.
third, i will promise you that i won't be unfair with this guy who i was referring to this time, and as long as i have all the right to fight for him i would gladly and willingly will fight for him.
forth.... i will try everything i can to make this things work out for all of us,,, as the days goes by i'll try to update mylot on my current situation and if you ever find free time to just read and respond i would gladly appreciate it... thanks again
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
18 May 11
It so happened that your topic is one of my favorites. So I did read your discussion. It is a pleasure for me to interact with you my fellow lotters and share some ideas i have to you, and vice versa.
Yeah, I understand that you are well aware of your being a "people-pleaser", and I hope one day you could shun away such a character. I have also noted that you're such a good friend, and you were right saying you chose to give up previously, partly it's your choice.
Maybe this time, is YOUR time to pursue your own happiness. Be fair to yourself and to the man you are talking about here.
It would be a pleasure to see your discussions around. :) God bless you! :)
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
19 May 11
I will definitely fight for my own happiness this time since i've never felt like this before. I couldn't find the right words to express how contented i am today because of this wonderful gift from God.... I've never fall in love with someone before, the way i'm falling for him. i guess you could prove this in my past discussion knowing that i was always playing and wondering around, but this time it's real.... I'm just wishing that sooner or later this friends of mine will gonna let me be happy this time and spare me those hurtful act and comments i'm receiving from them
@jennyze (7028)
• Indonesia
19 May 11
Do you believe in Kara? Reading on your past relationships here, I got a feeling you will have some difficulty in realizing this love as a karma of your past acts thus this friend of yours once again is trying to break down the ties between you and your guy. Well, as long as you are ready to face the challenges, you can win.
Go for your own happiness, this time.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
19 May 11
heheheh.... i believe in karma, and if this man is my karma, i would gladly embraced my karma... i'm doing it for myself this time my friend, but still i'll try my best to keep both my friend and my lover, i don't want to let go of someone just because they both have differences
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
22 May 11
Personally there comes a time in your life when you have to leave everyone else's thoughts and feelings aside and do what is Best for you. If you truly care for this person you are with, and he cares for you why would you ever consider wanting to break his heart? If your friends cannot accept it or him, then they are jealous and would never do that for you. So in reality be not afraid to give it a try and see what happens. It could be the Best thing for you.
@SangsTurks (1444)
• India
19 May 11
yes, everybody does deserve to be happy and you have done your part in making your friends happy but now is your time to get what you want and not what others want. Just to make your friend happy you have lost so many chances to find your true love, anyways let bygones be by gones. There is a begining to everthing, your's can be now! Be happy....find your happiness!
@premierdar (38)
• Honduras
18 May 11
You scare me... Come on, I was thinking of this situation, People making happy to others because they deserve? what is your first priority?
YES INCLUDE YOU!!!!
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
19 May 11
thanks for the comment friend... i don't see scary things in my discussion so please don't be scared and in terms of priority, i don't believe that i need to set my priorities in between a friend and a lover... i'm just wishing that maybe someday things will be good and makes everybody happy, especially when i love them all.
@rosesunlimited (19)
• Philippines
18 May 11
first of all., i understand. we're on the same situation. these past few days, i've been experiencing pain and loneliness. people are always kind to me when they need something and that, i give them what they want.
everybody deserves to be happy. including ourselves, and also., try thinking first of what will it cause to you. even if you're the best of friends, for her to ask you this kind of favor really is nothing like a real friend. sometimes, it's okay to be selfish, it's okay to place yourself first before anyone else, cause maybe someday, time will come you will experience pain of being betrayed by those you thought of as friends. learn to love yourself even a little okay?
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
19 May 11
Before when i make those decisions for silly reasons, i'm always thinking of less complications so i've always wanted to make more people happy than to make myself happy, sometimes its much easier to let them be happy than to let yourself be happy, but this time, i'm asking for their support then when they can't still give it to me, i felt really disappointed and upset, that's the time i realize that giving up my own happiness for their sake is enough in the past so i'll better pursue it this time.
thanks for the comment
@rosesunlimited (19)
• Philippines
19 May 11
making decisions for yourself isn't a bad thing.
i always think what others would think and say about me that's why, and it made me disappointed that, i've never really got any friends at all. it's just a physical relationship.
i hope you can pursue your happiness from now on. making mistakes isn't really that bad, try to learn from them, not run away from them. :)
don't give up your happiness. ^^
@adarshvishwanath20 (101)
• India
18 May 11
Yes we all deserve to be happy in life. After breaking so many hearts, you've won a good heart & please maintain your relationship & stop thinking about your friends. What kind of a friend is she, when she knows that her friend is liked by someone & both are in love & still she asks you to leave him? It is very bad. Your friends are selfish & you paid the prize everytime just to make them happy & what did you get in return? Finally after breaking up with so many boy friends, you started realizing the importance of your own happiness. You should be thankful to your current boy friend who has made you to think about yourself. If I were in your position, I would never leave my partner just because my friend asked me to. You be liberal & generous in other things, but when it comes to life, relationships, you better refrain from being generous.
