why cant ex-lover be good friends?

after breakups, there seems to be intense emotional pain that needs to subside through time, and sooner or later starting to communicate again would initiate a good friendly relationship based on what you have shared before.

In some cases ex-lovers are able to be friends. One of my friends is still in touch with his ex-girlfriend. They both have new partners and when my friend is having a party he always invites his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend. That has never been a problem and the 4 of them get along just fine. I have never experienced that kind of situation myself and I am not in touch with any of my ex-boyfriends. One of my ex-boyfriends and I tried to remain friends after we broke up, but it didn't work out. He wanted me back and he didn't want us to remain just friends.

hello, I dont know but you know what most of my ex boyfriends are my friends now. Maybe most of those lovers who had a broke up just cant accept the fact that they are not really meant to be. right? Maybe they are not ready to give each other a break they want time or maybe they are too hurt for the situations that is why they cant move on when they are friends.

I think some people try to be good friends with their ex's but it's hard because how to go from being intense lovers to friends. What if the breakup wasn't mutual? There may be some lingering feelings on one end of the relationship and it may cause a problem for the other end. I just don't think ex's should be friends.

Deep emotional investment, causes deep emotional pain, forgiveness or indifference is required before a new friendship can be forged :)

Not all ex-lovers became enemies. I know some who are still friends after they end up boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Well I believe it depends on how they end up their relationship. If they broke up in good terms, then they can still be friends even if they had a "past"

lovers broke up because they agree that they can't be with each other anymore.so for some, there's no reason to be friends anymore. A lot depends on why you broke up. Anytime there is a restraining order, no friendship can come. Personally, I have never had much success in staying friends with an ex. As you pointed out, there are many factors that will dictate the possibility of lingering friendship. There can also be character issues in play that make you step back and say. "I really don't like this person" once you remove the intimacy. It can also be too painful to be around someone after a breakup. I totally get what you are saying, but even long lasting friendships can be broken beyond repair in certain situations. And of course, sometimes you don't get to make the choice.