Being bad to be good
By sophiecheer
@sophiecheer (931)
Philippines
May 20, 2011 12:59am CST
I sometimes tend to be hostile to people especially when they do something stupid. Sometimes I get judged for being cruel to some people when they commit mistakes. I remembered reading about a pastor getting angry about one of his former student way back when he was still teaching at a university.
This certain student of his was constantly late at attending his class, was always cutting classes and was always making unnecessary noises. One day the pastor got fed up and he reprimanded the student in front of the class. The student was deeply humiliated and that was the last time that he's seen of him.
A few years after, the pastor received a call. It was from that certain student of his. Pleasantries were exchanged and then they talked about the last incident that they've been together.
The student said that the incident had given him lessons that he would otherwise not have learned if not for what had happened. The student had mended his ways and was now a successful businessman.
Do you feel like you had to act like the "bad guy" sometimes in order to correct the ways of someone? Do you feel that it is worth the risk being branded as the "cruel one" over it? Please share your views.
2 people like this
8 responses
@fairytail (32)
• Philippines
20 May 11
life in this world is about balance.
you have to be bad in order to do good. but everything boils down with the right intention.
being branded as a bad person does not mean that it is your only character, for most of the time,those people that see you as bad are the one who misunderstood your actions and definitely do not know and understand your intention..
@sophiecheer (931)
• Philippines
21 May 11
You said it best on those few lines, fairytail! Welcome to mylot, by the way.
As I stated and I therefore reiterate, sometimes we need to act as the antagonist to someone's life story in order to bring out the best of that person.
Oftentimes in our life our intentions are misread by people. When I was young, I often get mad at my mother for always getting in the way of my happiness. When I got older and had enjoyed my freedom, I missed her admonitions. I realized her true intentions and I realized that she certainly LOVED me for not allowing me to enjoy those few fleeting moments of happiness-clubbing, partying, etc for a lifetime of regrets.
Balance in this world is indeed essential.
@sophiecheer (931)
• Philippines
21 May 11
Yeah, the sad part is it takes time for people to realize that it is for their own good. Oh well..
@fairytail (32)
• Philippines
21 May 11
yeah you are right, i'd rather be a antagonist too at times..
thanks anyway sophiecheer for appreciating my idea.. c",)
as long as we stick with our right principle, then sooner or later those people will do understand too..
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
20 May 11
at my work being a teacher before I had to be firm with students that misbehave or hurt their classmates, 
though I wouldn't call myself or other people disciplining and being harsh at that bad, they are actually just being firm for the sake of the people they hold dear...
though I wouldn't call myself or other people disciplining and being harsh at that bad, they are actually just being firm for the sake of the people they hold dear...@sophiecheer (931)
• Philippines
20 May 11
Being a disciplinarian is not an easy thing to do. We sometimes risked being the subject of ridicule by our students. But as I said it is a necessary thing to undertake otherwise people will keep on doing things that will eventually lead them to destruction.
Teachers, are very commendable beings indeed!
@sophiecheer (931)
• Philippines
24 May 11
I like your description of teachers-it sounded like they are actually action heroes. But I agree to the fine points that you've shared..teachers are really tough people. I remember vaguely the times when my teachers are being stern. When I got older I truly appreciated their command on me otherwise I would not be the kind of person that I am today.
Nice input guys, I truly appreciate your participations!
@shengcruz (221)
• Philippines
24 May 11
Yeah, it's quite difficult being a teacher! It's actually as tough as job of a policeman-because you have to always find the culprit that's pulling down your students' grades! And it's as challenging as the mission of the priest since you always need to be on guard with your actions and words for any mistake would make you less credible and respectable!
As a teacher, one must sometime act like a "lion" and show to all other beings that you're the king of the jungle, otherwise, you'll not be able to win their attention and respect. Inside the classroom, the teacher sometimes plays the role of a villain to be able to scare the bad habits of students and to do this, he must be really really brave and should appear very bad! But true enough, at the end of the school year, this teacher becomes the hero who saves everyone from falling!
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
20 May 11
Hi sophie cheer: I agree with you but I don't call it being bad. It's just using authority. Sometimes is necessary to do this when a person is not doing well but of course you can't abuse of this. If dialogue is possible to make a person notice that he/she is making a mistake I prefer to do this, because this attitude is also a display of violence but in some extreme cases like the Pastor's example, it is necessary.
ALVARO
@sophiecheer (931)
• Philippines
21 May 11
Authority is indeed a relative term. It is not something that should be used excessively.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
20 May 11
Oftentimes, i would get angry at my friends for things i can say not being normal. When i do that, they stop from doing them. Then, they would be away for a day or two, but would be back and apologize after.
Sometimes, we have to show our "bad" side by admonishing some people. You may turn to be a bad guy to them, but eventually will come to their senses, that the bad guy, isn't that bad after all .
1 person likes this
@sophiecheer (931)
• Philippines
20 May 11
I agree, admonishment does not mean that you don't love your friends anymore. In fact, it is a sign that you care enough to risk being hated by them because you know what would happen-and that what would happen is not something desirable.
In friendship, sometimes arguments must transpire to correct our friend's ways. As someone who care, we don't want our friends to go astray.
It is a necessary risk to take but we undertake them because we loved them.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
21 May 11
I agree. it is perfectly in order for us to be bad to a few with a view to correcting them. Such moves taken early will avoid many embarrasing problems to come later on. Of course we must manage to see we are not branded "cruel" but "strict".
have a good day.
@sophiecheer (931)
• Philippines
21 May 11
Sometimes we don't feel the need to correct our image to other people. It is because people just choose to see what they want to see in you. They do not look past the act of "admonition" because they don't really want to be corrected.
When that happens, no matter how hard you try to modify their way of thinking, they would still think what they want to think. So why bother taking the effort, right?
I say that if I am in that situation, I won't mind being branded anything as long as I know that in the end what I did was for the best.
@hot_legs15 (132)
• Philippines
20 May 11
From my line of work, I cannot avoid but to act as the "bad guy" so that during Court hearings they would know what to do and what to say. It is far better that I would scold them than make a fool out of themselves inside the Court. If I would not do it, they risk themselves to be incarcerated, or we would lose our case.
I scolded a client because he cannot make-up his defense. His story was full of inconsistencies. I told him, only a first grader will believe his story and I walked away.
The next time we met, he told me the real story. No cover up. Because of what he did, I was able to find a good defense for his case and we won.
If I acted goodie-goodie at that time, I don't know if I can defend him well. He would surely make a fool out of himself during the hearing. It was good that by acting "bad" I compelled him to say the truth which literally set him free.
1 person likes this
@sophiecheer (931)
• Philippines
20 May 11
You are in a tough position to be in!
I cannot imagine myself to be in a position to pretend to get mad at someone to bring about the TRUTH. But I guess it had to be done in order to bring out the best possible excuse for your client's exoneration.
It is sometimes hard to help someone if that someone is not cooperating. I guess we all can't get away but to do the necessary evil-acting as the "bad guy".
@marguicha (222989)
• Chile
20 May 11
I think the only way people can learn is by applauding good behaviour and not accepting a bad one. I don´t think cruelty is the way, but there are lots of ways to do it. Reprimands are important and I don´t think it´s terrible to slap a child´s butt if he´s doing something wrong or to tell a young man or woman to stop making noises while a professor delivers his class (he should know better or leave).
@sophiecheer (931)
• Philippines
21 May 11
Ah yes, I agree that we need to come up with a "reward/ punishment system" to
people. It is to encouraged to always do the "right" thing because you get
rewarded. Meanwhile, if you've committed something unpleasant you get "punished".
This is to discouraged people to do the wrong deeds. Makes total sense.
@Princelierocks (817)
• India
20 May 11
Being yourself bad means we are lacking lot of self control. Yes it is true that when we are bad we learn a good lesson, from elders due to punishments and regrets that we do. But it is not necessary to be bad and to see where do we lack ourselves. Being Good will also help us the best part is that we tend to learn new things when we are good. Our physiology is such that when we are in good state of mind.. we trend to learn new things.. We try new things in nature whereas in when we are bad we just dont know on which track we are and we are corrected by others. So i think it is not so necessary that we should be good or bad in order to learn some lessons
@sophiecheer (931)
• Philippines
21 May 11
So you are a firm believer that "the end does not justify the means?"
The question lies not within our capacity to lose temper, it is about our ability to do the necessary evil-acting as the antagonist in order to bring about the goodness of other people.
I think that when you allow people to willfully do the things that is somewhat detrimental for his character, you are somehow allowing that person to be "bad". Take for example, the kids. As elders we are responsible for their total upbringing as a person. We need to discipline them so that they grow up "good". With that, we sometimes end up as the "terror" for our kids, but somehow this is a necessary tool.
