I'm right here...

@dawnald (85146)
Shingle Springs, California
May 20, 2011 11:40am CST
So that's the Richard-ism of the day. Well actually he's used that one before, usually in combination with blocking my path wanting a hug, or some other Richard-ism that probably means something like "I'm the right guy for you". This morning I had a wee comeback (after the fact), "what's up with that?" Kind of not so subtly implying that he shouldn't still be there. It would have gone right over his head though. So what do you all think "I'm right here" means? And how would you have come back to that? (For those of you who haven't been previously following my discussions, I just divorce the guy, we are still living in the same house temporarily , the children will be told about the divorce after school is out in a couple of weeks, ex-husband is still not accepting the situation.)
5 people like this
19 responses
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
20 May 11
Yup...he's there for you.....right here! How is it possible you can't see him and how much you actually need him? NOT!
2 people like this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
Isn't that "knot" as in "head"?
@rocketj1 (6955)
• United States
20 May 11
In my human-ness, I could probably think of many very sarcastic comebacks to what he is saying to you. However, none of them are necessarily very helpful to say. I think you are doing the best thing by not really saying anything at all. As for what he means by that..... who knows? Does he lose himself often? Does he think you don't see well? LOL
2 people like this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
no he doesn't but I wish he would....
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63643)
• United States
26 May 11
I'd probably tell him, like I do the roommate when I need to get by and she's in the way... "get out of my way"
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63643)
• United States
26 May 11
sounds like Cary has the right idea!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 May 11
When it comes to R, yes. But really I hate it when he does that...
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
26 May 11
I could do what Cary does and say "MOVE"...
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
20 May 11
Being new to this Richard-ism, my first thought was, "And you stay here while I go over there." Wow, I knew that you were divorced or separated, but didn't know you were living in the same house..I hat off to you, you are one brave woman...
1 person likes this
• United States
21 May 11
Hey, temporary or not, I would not be able to live with someone I don't like, it takes a special person to do that..
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 May 11
I don't totally dislike him. I just don't want to be married to him any more.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
It's only temporary, but sometimes it can be pretty stressful.
1 person likes this
@much2say (56057)
• Los Angeles, California
20 May 11
Come back - how about: "I KNOW, now get outta my way!" Hee hee. Does he mean that he's there for you? Forgive me, but sounds like he's trying to be sweet . . . but I guess when you've heard the isms for so long (and considering all that you've put up with) it doesn't have the sweet effect. He's still hanging on to that bit of hope.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
Yeah, the isms are merely annoying now. How about "yes and you're blocking my way" or "that's the problem"?
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
I could pat the top of his head and say "there there little man"
@much2say (56057)
• Los Angeles, California
20 May 11
Ha! Maybe forget the come back . . . just step on his toes!!
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
20 May 11
Get a python or boa. That will definately be there.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
I don't think non-venomous snakes scare him...
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
20 May 11
Do you want a black mamba then? I can send you one.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
right, but first I need an evil plot to keep the cats and kids safe from it....
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
24 May 11
Some men just don't get it..lol Well, I take "I'm right here" to mean that he is saying he is right there for you that you have no need to look farther for a man then the nose on your face..that he still wants to be in your life. That he is there is you need or want him. But sounds as though he just doesn't get that it is totally over for you two.. might take a iron skillet to the head to make him realize it is totally over.
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
24 May 11
Need the loan of a Iron skillet? They are pretty hefty and would leave a big knot..lol
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
25 May 11
Might come in handy...
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 May 11
I think you pretty much nailed it!
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
30 May 11
Hi Dawn I have to be honest I could not live in the same House as the Ex and until he moves out you will have this Problem When I got divorced well long before then I would not have him near me I really hope that your Situation will change soon
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 May 11
Fortunately he is tolerable enough of the time. I just sort of let the rest roll off...
@BarBaraPrz (47667)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
20 May 11
I would have said, "And?"
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (47667)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
21 May 11
Probably.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
He would have missed the point though.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (168269)
• Boise, Idaho
21 May 11
"I'm right here." Responses: I KNOW!, We need to talk about that fact, (rolling of the eyes)and discusted look, Don't remind me!, I will even through in six months cleaning if you will leave NOW, I'm going to start charging after June, (I like this one) Isn't your lease up?,
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 May 11
His lease was up in February when he signed the settlement agreement!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 May 11
two more weeks, kids will know, then I can stop
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (168269)
• Boise, Idaho
24 May 11
I think you need to quit being so nice.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
21 May 11
Hmm...I don't know...maybe that he wants you to take him right there...or maybe he is saying that he's correct...hmm....maybe he is challenging you by saying he's not gone. Hard to say..there are Richard-isms...John-isms...and different-isms.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 May 11
take him where? out the front door?
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
24 May 11
• United States
20 May 11
I would have probably responded with something like "and that just proves the old saying that unwanted things keep turning up long after you try to throw them out". If you are trying to keep a semblance of peace, at least for the children, then that probably would not have been the best response.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
My brain just freezes up...
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
The children were not awake yet, so it probably would have worked. If only my brain worked that well at 6 in the morning....
• United States
20 May 11
LOL! Maybe my brain works better when I am irritated then, especially if I have not had my coffee yet, because that most likely would have come out of my mouth before I even realized what I was saying at that time of the day.
1 person likes this
@webearn99 (1742)
• India
20 May 11
Well he is scared, insecure and wants in That's for sure.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
I'm sure you're right about that one...
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
He doesn't want to be "discarded like a sack of potatoes"...
• United States
20 May 11
What he wants "in" on is another discussion entirely, though ...
1 person likes this
• United States
20 May 11
Along with the insecurity and non-acceptance, some who he still has hope. I may not be right Dawn but somehow I think he is hoping you would have a change of heart. Though his wish will not be granted, he is still clinging to hopes. I am sure he is prolonging D day when you have to tell the kids as he is still hoping and as time passes on he is hoping somehow the "I'm right here" so you know he wants to stay. ** All a guess.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
You're probably right. When the day comes to tell the kids, I know I will have to bring it up too!
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
I did not think of that, but you could be right.
• United States
20 May 11
I think you have to pre-prep him and or remind him of a date. He is not going to function well and may unintentionally use the kids sympathy to try and get the kids to convince you to allow him to stay.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 May 11
Simple! When he says " I'm right here." I would look him in the eye, with my " I didn't give you permission to speak to me" look I have had since I was a baby,and say That's The Problem You are Right Here! But see I'm Way colder than you.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 May 11
perfect....
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
20 May 11
not sure what it means. after having gone through so many myself i still dont understand men. even ones that say they love you but often prove not to. Only the "Shadow" knows whats in the hearts of men. lol. thats before your time. it was a radio program.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
yeah, I've heard of it... Anyway, you'd need a microscope to figure out what's going on in his brain.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
20 May 11
Well, it appears that he just isn't prepared to move out just yet. I'm hoping that it just doesn't get nasty and you having to get a court order or something. Are you looking for somewhere temporary to live or will you move after your house is sold? Is this what he is waiting on? It may appear that you will have to do everything with regard to sale of house and division of property and you may have to rent for a while in the same area until your house is sold. I don't know. But I/m afraid to say it but he ain't budging one little bit
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
I think he's waiting for the house to be sold. In order to get financial help with the bills, I may let him. I will buy a smaller house nearby if I can.
@Orea15 (281)
• United States
20 May 11
The two responses I thought of immediately were, "Why?" and "I wish you weren't." No, I'm not very nice, am I. LOL But to use Dr. House's word, he sounds like a moron. I've never met him and he's irritating the heck out of me!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 May 11
He is certainly a moron as far as this divorce is concerned...
@naija4real (1291)
21 May 11
dawnald, I want you to simplify your question so that international members on mylot could be able to answer your questions.I advise you can put your question clearer in subject heading. it makes it a lot better to know what you really want answered.Have a great day
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 May 11
Sorry, not sure how to make it clearer.