Am I really preparing my children for what they are going to face?

I think you have every reason to be concerned. The world is getting more and more difficult. I have 2 daughters myself (39 & 35). We want our children to be happy and enjoy life. So we have to teach them the pros and the cons, the ups and the downs, the good and the bad. We can be a good example ourselves that they can copy. We can teach them the skills to learn how to deal with different situations. We can only hope that what we give them will be enough so that they can make the best out of life.

My dear Jen I could never say "it is "Jen"...please stop thinking so much" You know why because during this past year that we have interacted you remind me so much as I was. Many in the family use to say, oh stop it, you are too obsessed. I did not see it that way. I saw it as raising my kids as I best knew how. There was not a day, I was not sure I was doing enough, thinking enough and or saying enough. It is never enough, not when we care so much for them. So it is natural that we over worry and do the best we can. Thankfully my what people call me as an "obsessive parent", afforded me two wonderful and respectful kids that with my obsessed ways, I raised to the best of MY abilities. So I say the contrary, continue thinking my dear. We just do not know what life will bring so therefore, we continue trying.

U are just a good Mom wanting the best for her children as we all do. U want to prevent them for getting hurt along the way & don't want them to make some of the mistakes u did. i know because i felt the same way when my sons were growing up. All u can do is teach them the best u can but u will find out u can't stop them for getting hurt along the way no matter what u teach them. They will do fine because they have such a good mom.

Just my opinion here~ Two peers gone. Wow! Ones enough, but two! That is tough. Home should be safe. I would certainly explain to kids that there are two sides to every story. (I try to live by the golden rule and I try to always see both sides of an issue)I try to let my kids know about the ugliness in the world and that their are nasty people. But in a loving and sad way. Kids need to know. My gram taught me at an early age to protect myself and know about people and watch out for myself. I am very thankful for that. I think just knowing your concern for them will be alot. And talking about things from time to time doesn't hurt.

you are just doing what is suppose to be done mommy. i salute you. you are such a great mother. your children are so lucky and thus should be happy and proud of having such a great mom like you. just keep bringing you children to LIGHTNESS. keep them off the DARNKNESS...

It is a tricky world we live in that is for sure. I usually tell my kids to be kind to people but at the same time I explain the dangers of things to hoping that they wouldn't get into dangerous situations. My oldest son dealt with a lot of friends dying too. It was real hard. My youngest hasn't dealt with that yet.My oldest son when he was little a kid in the same grade as him brought cow growth medicine to school and on the playground the kid told other kids to dip there fingers in it because it was candy.One of the kids that had some was mine and the principal called me because another kid told on the kid. I told my youngest kid not to ever take food or drinks from kids unless his teacher knows that they are doing it like at parties.I said that so maybe something like that wouldn't happen to him. Well, one year a highschooler gave my younger kid some dr pepper he thought and paid for it with his raffle ticket money.Well it leaked on my son so he threw it away in our dumpster. The only reason why I found out about it is because my son said he spent his raffle ticket money on it as soon as he got home. I got out of my kid that he threw it away because the pop leaked.I got scared and looked in the dumpster. It was oldspice cologne.Man, I was upset and asked my son who he was and I told the principal about it and the school got the money back since they wanted it since it was there money. What is bad is sometimes even us warning our kids doesn't work but it doesn't hurt to warn them. Somethings they will listen too. I told my son what it was and told him that is why I have that rule. If he would have drunk that he would have got sick. What upsetted me is my kid has got kicked off the bus for less things then that like not sitting down and that kid was on the bus the next day and the bus driver said that he always had trouble with that kid he told me after he found out about it.

You seem to be doing a really great job the way you are going and I wouldn't worry. Unless you can predict the future it's hard to say what is the best thing to teach them. I think communication is the key and if your kids know that if they are troubled about anything they can come to you and lay their cards on the table no matter what, and they also know that between you and them, you will all figure things out. You cannot possibly teach them to be ready for everything but being there for them is a great gift.

The best advice I can give you is to be completely honest with your children. I know as adults we believe that things need to be sheltered from children, but my oldest daughter dealt with many things at a young age. Her real father wanting nothing to do with her and when she would ask, I would tell her that he was too busy with his own life and that God had given her my husband who loved her and wanted her in his life as he chose to be with us. (He eventually got to adopt her). Also, I always told my kids if we could not afford things or if we were not as financially stable as we needed to be. They need to know reality! I remember a friend of my daughter who moved out on her own and the first month that the utility bills came in, she asked what they were for. When we told her, she said, "Oh, that stuff is not free". I laughed at the time, but thought later how sad that it was that she had no idea that those things were very costly. My daughter has worked since she was 14 and although she is not the most cautious with her money and buys things that she doesn't need, she does know and appreciate the hard work that it takes to pay bills.

I have been told several times in the last several weeks that I think too much. Yesterday I repeated that to a very close friend and her commment was, "Women were made to think so much!!" Made me feel a little better!! The point I'm making, is "don't think about it so much"!! You are doing the best you can, and the rest is up to them. I thought I was kind of tough on my girls, but they tell me I wasn't!! When my first was pregnant at 17, I really questioned my parenting skills. BUT I have 3 daughters who can take care of themselves, and to add to that, they take care of each other. I didn't do so well with my son, but he still does survive!! lol You do what you do to the best of your ability, and they will do the rest!!

Dear friend, As a mother it is considered to the root of a family if that root is strong obivisouly the tree will not fall so soon. I feel that childern are to made capable to face and handle situations in life. Face life and lead it successfully for that role of mother has a big part. I respect a mother like you who had made such better decisions.

Jen.... I wish I could tell you SOMEthing but since I don't have any kids, what can I tell ya? I can say this though, if a child has the mind enough to ask a question, they should be given the answer. Now that's not to say the WHOLE answer but enough to satisfy their curiosity so they won't go looking elsewhere for the answer. Don't tell a child, "you're too young to understand" because that just causes resentment and inadequacy. The reason I say that is because I'm considered legally deaf so being told I was too young to understand caused me to feel unwanted, not feeling like I fit in and wasn't trust worthy. I rebelled big time which only made things worse for all of us. Also, they need to know danger but being that they do have young minds, there's no fool proof way to prepare them for what can happen except to be there or have someone else there with them to keep an eye on them.

Jen, please stop thinking so much... It makes me feel a bit bad because I don't think I have done anything to get my kids prepared as well. I have thought about these things, but I've always kept them at the back of my head. I know that one day, I'd have to face this and get my mind into preparing them. Like you, I'd hate for them to discover themselves how hard life is. But there is also a part of me that says, let them find it out for themselves. As long as they know that I'm just around to help, if needed. Maybe this is all the preparation that I (and you) need.

Do you teach her about Jesus? about 'loving your neighbor as yourself'?

In my opinpoin, educate children should accord to their psychological characteristics.Man's nature at birth is good,so parents' responsibility is that to guide them healthy growth including Mental health,isn't it.I'd like to talk with friends about this topic.Thank you.

I think what you are tlking about is common sense. Teach them to take their time and think things through, we get into the most trouble when we just react. But every life is full of ups and downs if your girls stay strong in their core values they will do as well as anyone can. Blessings

Hi jen.. One Indian philosopher said that.... give me some good mothers and i will give you a good nation..... so, mother teachings are the best teaching in the world and the home where mother lives is the best educational institution in the world. You should teach them moral education rather than academic-al education because moral education helps a person to be a good human. have a nice day.

Hi Jen In Tn: I understand your concerns as a mother. In my opinion you should keep teaching your children to be good and that their values are really important but at the same time that they should never forget that there's also a "dark side of the world" and that they should care about these bad things around them. But is naturally that you can't protect them from all the warnings that are present. Thanks for sharing with us your thoughts. Have a nice day. ALVARO

I don't know what kind of exposure your children are getting besides school and you. There is a lot out there that can influence kids of today and that can happen in a jiffy. I am not discouraging you but that is the bitter truth. Parents can only guide but assimilation is totally in the hands of children. You will have seen how despite the same environment no two children will develop at the same pace or the same way. So don't you see there is more than what parents do that is responsible for their progress in life. The less you worry about how your kids are going turn out the better it will be for you.

Hi JenInTN Not sure what you refer by the lessons they learn. As far as I know a loving and caring parent like you will always be a great mom - teaching the kids to see and accept the harshest of things that life provides with the bravest and kindest heart. This I think is the real essence of anything they learn at home - true that life plays games and at times horrible ones but it is this training the kids get at home - to fight back, to stay positive, to remain undeterred on the paths of true life - that makes them open to learn, adapt, and survive. The virtues of life - these are what the best things my parents and grandparents have given to me - and I am sure that you and all other parents too do the same... the real tests are the tests that how they will face life and when time comes, if they face it right, it gives the biggest satisfaction to any parent.