Abusing husband

Hi there, Here is what I would do if a person had asked me, though I do not advocate divorce, separations, I certainly do not tolerate abuse. I have lived it and it is not until she herself realizes that this is wrong that she will even entertain leaving her husband. No one has rights to abuse anyone, and unless he himself is reaching out for help over it, the situation is only going to be worse. Therefore, as a friend if I am asked I would say, do cling on to family/friend support and begin to establish a life on her own. You don't mention children, but in the event that there are life will be much more difficult because the children will see the abuse and believe that disrespect is part of life. She will then not only have the husband issue but children as well. If she does not listen to any of my advise then all I can do is continue to listen, lend a shoulder to cry and watch in the event there is anything as a friend I can perhaps report to the authorities. I so wish her well, as I lived it and would never allow something like this ever again, even if it meant going to a shelter until I got my feet back on the ground.

I know how it feels being abused physically and verbally. And I know it is very hard to give up your family. And it is even harder to give up a man you loved. But an abusive relationship is not good. It's hard to stay in that kind of life. I think they need to seek an advice from some family members, friends and councilors. If he continues with his abuses then I think she needs to reconsider and think for her future. She needs to live normally and have a better life even if it hurts.

Dear friend, It is easy to blame each other. I feel if there is someone who understands or close to your family letter them interfere so that the situation could become better. If the reason for his abuse is due to misunderstanding or just having some other reasons that is solvable I hope to do that. But if it is still continuing and if you do not have any child may be it would be your choice to get a divorce as soon as it gets worse and make a whole life tolerating all from him. This just reminded me when one of my friend quarrelled with his wife and used abusive words. When many of his close people enquired he did not say what was the reason. But it was understood from one of his close friend that his wife had an affair with other women. Next they all requested his wife not to further talk of see that person. Soon her husband character also changed and now they have a new baby and life is going smoothly. I am sure your problems will soon be solved. If right person are interfered to solve it.

I would have to say that it doesn't matter if she can live without a partner or not! If she is being abused, she needs to get out of that situation before something really bad happened. There are woman's shelters that would be happy to take her in until she got on her feet. I have had a friend who was in an abusive relationship and she is still miserable with him, despite all her family and friends telling her to leave, this guy has brain washed her into staying with her. I think that if this girl is smart, she will remove herself from his presence and get on with her life. Yes it is going to be hard, nothing in life worth having is easy to come by. Despite the hardships that she might face at first, I can't help but think that her life would be better if she was in a place of comfort and ease, and those aren't things that she is likely to get around this guy.

It is always sad to hear about abuse from one person on another. However, spousal abuse is not just common in the United States, but all over the world. If this woman was a close friend or a relative such as a sister or a cousin, I would tell her that she has to find a way out. I would also tell her that the timing will have to be right; she must have a plan as to how she is going to live and where she is going to live. If there are no children, all the better, but if there are children, her plan will have to be a well thought out one. No other human being has the right to abuse another, but we all know that it is happening and and some abuseed person lose their lives trying to escape the abuse, so caution is the key ingredient when trying to get out.

Anyone who is being abused, should definitely leave their abuser, whether it is verbal and/or physical abuse. I say this because abuse always starts out small then escalates to someting larger every time. Getting out of the situation and filing for protection would be the best option. The children shouldn't have to watch and/or hear this stuff. It effects the children as much as it does the direct victim. The whole family suffers. Best Wishes!

Hi. ravisivan. I would tell her to leave him. Broke or not, she does not need to stay with her husband if he is not treating her right. Abusing her is wrong! She will need to move out and leave him right where he is at. If not, he may end up hurting her really badly or even killing her. She should try to make effort to save her life. She should also contact the police so that she can be protected and not have to live in fear all of the time.

I would say leave him. Nobody has the right to put there hands on you. There are ways to survive without him.

If she is asking if she should leave him, she has already made up her mind to do so. What she is seeking is validation of her choice. So, if she is comfortable with the concept of living on her own then by all means she should do what she wants to do, leave. If at some point he and she come to an understanding of both of their mental and emotional states at this particular point in time, she can revisit her options as can he. I think in any instance a woman asks, or a man for that matter, if they should leave, it should be pointed out to them that they do not need the validation of others when making choices that affect their lives. Abuse, mental, physical or emotional by either party in a relationship is not acceptable. If both parties are desirous of attempting to maintain the relationship, then counseling should be sought. Ultimately the choice is hers, validated or not by others.

And I thought such things happen only in India. I personally believe that verbal and physical abuse is incorrect. I would advise the lady to leave her partner and move on with life. There are many good men out there. Moreover USA is a land of opportunities. You can take care of yourself even if you are single. So what the heck. LEave him and start a new life.

From the situation above I think we cannot say much because we do not (cannot) see clearly what have happened. It would be easier for us to give opinion if you could provide some details.

Just leave him or if u think that he get desperate bcoz of his job u can support him n say what do you feel about his attitude....???or else take him to the church if u are christian....but I know is not easy...but u can still try....