Invisible or Unimportant?

Hi SV! Very Good discussion. I fully agree with you that if we go to someone's home and s/he is found talking/chatting on mobile/land phone for a long duration, it feels irritating. Whenever someone visits me and if am talking on mobile, I make sure that I attend to that person, who is right in front of me, rather than who is on the phone line. People are becoming addicted to their mobile phones and it has been become third biggest addiction in the world. People forget that those who are physically present in front of them are more important and should be attended to first. Have a great day! dpk

I think if I were talking on the phone and someone came over, I would at least talk to the person who came to visit. If I were talking to my boss or something like that I would let the visitor know that I will be a couple of minutes because my boss is on the phone or something like that. If it was just a personal call I would tell them I will call back when my guest leaves. To just talk on the phone and ignore a visitor is really tacky. I don't think you are weird. Just people in this current generation think more of themselves than of the people around them and probably don't realize that not everyone has as much free time as they have. If they continue to talk on the phone for more than a few minutes, I might signal that I want to say something or I might write a note saying I'm going to leave. Call me when you have time to visit. If I were visiting someone's house and my phone rang, I would at least have the courtesy of stepping outside for the call instead of forcing the other person to listen in on my conversation.

Well it is rude. But I have been in their shoes before. I get confused how to stop the conversation without sounding rude. The person sitting before me knows my feelings and see my expressions. But the person at the other end of phone line cant do that. Such things happen when there is something to commit and I am trying desperately to avoid any commitment. I feel bad from both ends.

I can understand how you feel. It has happened to me with my CEO when we met to re-negotiate my work contract. The fellow would not get off the phone. Later he said let's sit with this some other day; I need to go early today! A day which has not come yet. It is very insensitive of these people. They simply don't seem to care about what others might think or feel. Talking on phone makes them feel important I suppose. These morons do not realize what they are losing. On a lighter note, And what am I supposed to do when they are chatting on the phone? Twiddle my thumbs? There are some activities you may consider when put on live hold. Tap the person on the shoulder and point to your watch every 5 seconds. when they hang up simply leave without even saying goodbye. Examine every bit of the trinkets they have in the room and pretend to drop them every now and then. It will get you undivided attention you want. Switch on their TV and play some inane music channel loudly, very loudly. Sing along for a good measure. Talk to them as if they were not on the phone, never mind their discomfort. Now, don't fear losing their friendship, they didn't value yours.

That is definitely wrong. They could have asked you to make yourself comfortable and then carried on with that phone conversation. This is what is normally done and so it is a bit odd that these people acted so rudely. I am sure you must have decided never more to visit them or may have even walked away. My husband and I once visited a couple. They had visitors. They made us sit a little away and said they would join us but did not for well over half an hour. We both slipped away without telling them. The couple were at our place no sooner had we reached home and apologised profusely but I still cannot forgive them.

Hi SViswan That is when I would recommend you need to re-evaluate the importance of yours and your friends... This is quite a rude and unacceptable behavior as it is now becoming a kind of habit... There are a few definitely who are important and meaningful to you and I believe it is they who need more invitations to the parties or get togethers... But on second thoughts, it is the bane of cell phones and friends will soon become this way as we all have some more friends at home and elsewhere...

nope ya not weird When people come to see me they are surpose to be talking to me not to the phone. We have one girl that came over was texting ll the time but still kept up with what we were talkin gabut

Hi Sviswan! That is really rude. I'm the same as you, I leave everything that I'm doing whenever I have visitors or guests in the house. It's a sign of hospitality to entertain your guests and make them comfortable and welcome as much as possible. Of course, that depends on who the guests are. Still, good manners and right conduct dictates that you entertain your guests and leave what you're currently doing. And for guests, it's also good manners and right conduct to behave in somebody else's house. I think that's common sense. I can understand if the guests are close friends of the house owner and they behave as if it's their own house because they are friends. Otherwise, guests are expected to behave. Who are those people who go to your house just to use the phone and then ignore you?? I can't believe them!

I know what you mean, and on the whole I think people are forgetting their manners, if they ever learned them! what did they EVER do before cell phones? I hate seeing, and I see it all too often, people wander around "shopping" with a phone glued to their ear!

No, I don't think you are the weird one. I think it is horribly rude to ask somebody over and then have the TV on or be talking to someone on the phone about trivia. I want to say to them, well, if you are busy, I'll come back some other time (Hah, and then NEVER go back). If it is something important that comes up that is different. As for my own guests, well, I have never had anyone do that before. But I am pretty particular about who I let in, LOL. If I am at someone else's home, unless I am expecting an important call, which I will tell the host about in advance, I just do not answer the phone if it rings. Normally the ringer would be on silent, so nobody would even know.

I know what you mean...they come to visit and all of a sudden they are on their cell phone having a conversation with some one! I ask cup of tea? coffee?...and I get just wait I'm on the phone! do I twiddle my thumbs? nope...I just go back to what I was doing...I was told I Am rude....well I don't think so...I would never go to their place and do such thing!

Sometimes people just have a lot going on and tend to get sidetracked on what is going on in the immediate moment for them and it doesn't always mean that they are ignoring you because they don't want to listen to your or are being insensitive to your needs. On the other hand people now a days can be selfish and wrapped up in their own business where the keep friend that are convenient only to their needs. It is really up to you to decide if they are just busy with really important matters that they are trying to clear up as soon as possible to spend time with you or are just using you to keep around because they know you will wait on their agenda before finishing the plans they made with you. A lot of times the situation can be resolved without any feeling being hurt if you just have communication with these people and resolve the issue immediately instead of letting feelings of resentment fester and build up out of proportion before they can be explained. There are a lot of fair weather friend out there and ones who would use you as much as you will let them, but just be honest with one another and you will find that you can determine your real friends between the ones that are not quicker than you might think with simple honesty and you will be much happier knowing you haven't been mislead longer than necessary. Real friend are hard to come by in this world today and if you try to understand the other persons felling and circumstances objectively then they may do the same for you and you will find that making friends is not as hard as it may seem even if you have to weed through a few bad ones.

I find that the universal best attitude to have, is to lower expectations of others, and raise the expectations of myself. Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone was polite and decent at all times? But... they are not. People honestly have no clue about being polite and paying more attention to the person in front of them, rather than whoever is on the phone. The best we can do, is treat others the way we expect to be treated. As for everyone else, we can only hope they figure it out someday.

It is very rude! I can see talking on the phone if it is an emergency or for a few minutes, just long enough to tell the caller you will return his call. I know one person that talks to others in the house when she is on the phone with me. I think that is rude also. When that happens I will tell them I will call them later, when it is a better time for them. When I have a guest and a phone call, I will say "such and such are here. Can I call you back?" I try not to talk to anyone that is on the phone in my house, so I am not consdered rude also.

There is Nothing wrong with you. You have manners , they do not. They either have forgotten or they Never learned that Offline , live people are More important than anyone on the phone , unless it is an emergency. What is there to do? Well, a few years ago I would just sit and wait for them to finish. Now, I would write on a piece of paper "I have to go" and I would leave!why wait for the person to Finally remember I'm here for a visit?!

Oh boy! I DO know how you feel!! I hate it when people do that too! It's so disrespectful and it does make me feel less important. Now if they were on the phone with someone important such as discussing a bill problem, a medical problem or appointment, their ailing parents, or talking to someone because of an emergency situation - that's a little different but when they're talking to someone about this and that and the other, that grate on my nerves. I'll leave so they can talk about this and that and the other. When I become important enough, they'll come to me.

I really think that no one should do this to you at all. They should have more respect by ending their telephone call to the person that they are on the phone with. This would be out of respect for you as their company. This has happened to me at times when I was at the doctor's clinic or a business. The receptionist would be on the telephone and they would not bother with getting off of the telephone to consult with me. I am left standing there for more than two minutes. So, I just take that as an cue that it is time for me to sit down and wait until they finish having their long conversation on the telephone with someone.

so many people are so rude these days. im glad i raised my kids to be courtious. most people havent obviously. i remember, and so do they, times when friends would show up, just as we were sitting down to eat and i would say, no, if we dont have enough we will wait till they leave. when they was little we were quite poor and sometimes barely had enough. but they remember that till this day and know that you give your full attention and care to company. there has been times when company would stay way long, the kids would get very hungry, and id just tell company, we dont have much but will share as well as we can. so no way do any of us be as rude as to talk on phone with company. you just say, im sorry could i call back? i have company right now.

Your friends simply too rude to you while you are sitting there waiting for them to stop chitchatting on the phone. That is not right, and you shouldn't go over their house next time. For me, I won't visit their house again if they would treat me like that. That just rude, and not really hospital.

Madam: You are correct. Phones are enemies. Apart from this Television. when you go to any house after 6 pm --people get engrossed into TV and watch the program after program--now another enemy - yes internet -- interesting. I am happy you receive people properly. do not worry about others receiving you. Do what you expect yourself to do there and then return. have a good day