do you still have close friends after you got married and had kids?

That is the culture followed here. People do not talk to others. In fact when I go our for walking I find many men and women just saying hi. that is all Nobody attempts to talk. My children who are living here -- they also do not move with neighbors. this is not the culture in India at least. We will talk and enquire "how are you? What can we do for you?" it seems people here like privacy more and they always stay inside. True. people who do not have kids normally do not mix up with people with kids because of complex. There is problem in some couples having a kid -- either they want the job to be permanent -- or be able to manage--they postpone having kids. Such people will not talk to people having kids. Option is for you to mingle with people having kids -- voluntarily invite people for get together or parties. You can send your children his friend's house for play. like that you can do and use your time. Allow your children to play with others children. Automatically the parents of children will become your friends. Try and succeed. I am happy you raised this discussion. I have a habit of petting small kids - say 2 or 3 three year old. My son and daughter tell me "dont touch" Others may object. Interesting. of course I am having excellent time with my 5 month old grand son. He smiles, He cries, He laughs !!have a good day

I have the same situation. Just that I moved far from home a few years ago. But when I was still there was the same story. Even when I enter to Facebook it seems like everybody I used to know have been changed so much that I don't feel comfortable with them anymore. Now it is worst. We are in a place that we don't know nobody. I don't have any kind of friends, my husband either. I only have one child and he is alone all the time. I was discussing that with my husband the other day. I was telling him that I would like to meet other couples like us so we can spend time together and my son can have someone to play. But how we can do this? I don't have the remote idea.

Hi, I am not married But I went through Situation similar to this today. My college mates marries 3 years before who were in love & who took the help of mine to get married taught a lesson i believe.. Both The Guy & girl were my friends & I had to visit their house today. The girl asked me to her my cell number & I did. but the guy refused & deleted the number from her mobile & strictly told her not to exchange the contact number... I still don't know why did he do that. both were my college mates & very good friends.. Does they feel unsecured after they get married to mingle with friends or do they doubt on their Wives? so they avoid friends?.

The friends I had started to disappear immediately. Some didn't even attend the wedding. After that, we became more and more isolated. I don't know why this happens, but it does indeed effect a large number of couples. You are not alone!

As such after married I am staying in another town and I don't have my old friends but I have new friends who are working with me in the same office We do go to each other place for birthday parties or any other function along with our children and even my husband knew and he too are friendly with my friends husband same way we go my husband friends place also.

yes, friends is friend and family is family. We have to keep all relation, so it will make a better life

same with you lexus, i had my daughter so early, 19..so i was like jumped ahead of time...than my other friends who finished college first...and well, i had family first..so the difference is there. but i stil connected with college friends and some were very close but it still changed, when they come and visit me or i hang out with them, i can't seem to connect anymore, there were stuff i could not relate, there were things they discuss i do not know like school gossips. So i was really left out but i did understand and moved on, i finished college later than them..and i had new set of friends but still it was different because they were younger than me hahaha But there were friends from high school that really did remain my truest friends till now... but at times cannot just relate. The ones that constantly are at home are friends of my husband's with their wives that i got closer, they have kids so we kinda relate, but it was not really that close knit stuff.. The ones i often talk to now are usually my office mates and high school close friends who i see once in a while..and it might not be like before but still am glad they are there to listen when i whine..or when i laugh

I have noticed the same thing, however I myself really don't mind. I think that you are right, people who don't have kids, don't always know how to act around them. I know that I personally only talk to a handful of people, in fact I only speak to 2 people that I knew in high school. I didn't take it too personally. People grow apart, and they change. If you guys aren't having any luck with your old friends, you might want to try making some new ones, maybe someone with kids of their own.

I really miss the college time when we spent all the time together,but when I was married ,yeah,I lost most of them.

I can say that i've lost contact with them physically since i lived far from my close/old/childhood friends. But we still have communications and connections..it never ends after getting married.

I'm very much blessed to have good friends around and even when I got married and had a baby, they still managed to get in touch. Though we seldom see them ever since I started my own family and of course I never got the chance to spend more time with them anymore because of my new set of priorities. My single friends completely understands that. I'm also open to meeting new people especially those who have kids of their own, I would love to share my own views and hear other people's views about their kids.

It happens to me also. But now I meet those who r also have kids and they also come to the park or playground with their kids. When kids are playing we get a gud time to converse. By that way even our kids become friend and sometime we arrange small gettogethers at home also.

Fortunately, I still have close friends, even childhood friends, even after marriage and a kid. I'm more of keeping existing relationships than making new ones. Although my close friends and our respective families do not have regular meet-ups but we usually catch up during important occasions like birthdays.

I also feel the same as i had lots of close friends before narriage which now have vanished after marriage this is because of scarcity of time we have these days in busy life. This is the fact people remain close till you remain in touch with them if you suddenly give a brake then that close get lost. In my case still i became successful to prevent 2~3 relations by being in touck now a days i usaully talk to my freinds at least twice a week which still act like a catalyst in friendship.

We did lose a lot of our close friends after having our first child. It seems now that we have a few friends but they all have children also. We now have two children, and we more or less only socialalize with our family members and a few friens when ever we go out. I never understood why we lost so many friends after having children, but I came to the conclusion that its because our priorities changed. They never understood why we weren't able to go out when they wanted us to because we had children. It is hard to meet new people where I live,becasue my husband works a lot, and usually we keep to ourselves. We live in the country so there aren't to many social groups, but we are pretty happy with the friends we have now, but we do enjoy meeting new people.

Hi Lexus: I think it's difficult but not impossible. I'm not married, but I can tell you that my father is a very social person. He usually organize some reunions with his friends and family members to eat all together in my house. At least twice a month. We have a special lunch for these days so we spend a good family time and my father enjoys with his friends. IOt really depends on the schedules of your friends and there are so many family friendly plans that you can make with your children and friends like going to the movies or preparing something for a special dinner. Good luck with that. ALVARO

After marriagge its tough to maintain the same things as it was done before the marital life.The people get so much engaged in the daily works that dont even hav time to have spare time for themselves with the routine. I dont say its a wrong thing , because we dont get time for other things.Best friends are forever , if anything happens they are always there . We live in a society and we are not only the people on this world.We need neighbours, friends etc., We need friends for us as well as friends for our kids , becox we thinking of the future ,we are all bound to gether.

Even when I got married, I still kept my close friends. Though we doesn't hang up as much as before, I still consider them as my close friends and we still communicate with each other. Now that the kids are at the school most of the time, they too have acquired friends from school and eventually we become attached too with their parents. My set of friends are growing bigger and bigger because I have set of friends too here at our office.

I do not have a husband or kids yet. I am single but I am still close with my friends who are now married and have kids. don't mind being with their kinds, I like it a lot actually. They are sweet and friendly. I guess your friends are really busy. You can trying makig new friends with other moms who have kids. Like the mothers in your neighborhood or the moms of your children's classmates.

I lost a few friends but I kept a few who already had kids and it brought our relationship closer.