Relationship dilemma

That is probably why I am still here. I hate to leave someone who I know cares about me and this other one not work out.

fairytale, you are right in so many of your points. My current partner will not do any of the little things you mentioned. He seems to want everything his way and we do not discuss anything unless it is something that I want to do and then we don't discuss it- I mention it and he gives me an answer. He spends money on anything he wants and if I need gas money, I am wasting our money. It is a difficult relationship and I am getting really tired of the work that I put into it. He hasn't held a job in over 10 years, although he has done some odd jobs and yet, I am told each time that I mention money to get a job. I hurt my arm at work 2 years ago and had to quit the job I was at.

indeed tlb0822, we have one life to live and we have to live at our best.. but we have to be very careful with our decisions specially if our happiness is at stake, i believe that it is really difficult for you carolcash to let go of the man whom you've known for quite so long, and i bet 16 years would help us be more mature in dealing with relationships.. don't hesitate to really find your happiness but remember to consider all pros and cons and if you decide to really break up with your current partner, i suggest that you should part in a good way, he deserve to have an explanation.. but real love is not a matter of feelings only, love has it's many forms, and if you and your current partner don't have that serious gap, i bet there is also a chance to rekindle the fire you once have with him, even though i do not for sure what is happening with the both of you, but there is a possibility that because of the long years you have been together, there are things that seemed to be neglected, these may sometimes belittle things but there is a great impact on the relationship specially when taken for granted.. little things like, giving of gifts,flowers and chocolate,appreciating the food that was cook,and so on and so forth.. i hope you don't get me wrong for mentioning this things, what i want to stress out is good communication helps in nurturing a relationship.. just as the song, "live like were dying" said, we should love deeper,speak sweeter for life is too short to waste on things we don't deserve, we should live everyday as if we are dying, so everyday we'll give our best shot! i wish you all the happiness in the world..

Mom, I am married to the man and we have children together. The old flame is not in a relationship that involves children. He has children with his ex wife and she has told me several times that they could not stay married because he still carried feelings for me.

Oops I forgot that your old flame has a relationship going on also. This complicates things even more. I think if he has children already with his current relationship then you should forget about him and focus on strenghtening your relationship with your current partner. Like someone here has said, the grass is always greener...

Actually, the only reason we split up was due to some real issues he was having with things that he had seen in Iraq and having doubts about his sanity. He was extremely ill for awhile from things that happened there to him. Now, he is much better and there weren't problems with us.

You are with someone else and he is with someone else. This is only heartache waiting to happen. Good luck.....

He is not married, but he does have a new girlfriend. However, I am not sure that he would think twice about leaving her if I would say that I am leaving the relationship that i am in.

I can totally related to your friends' feelings. I will follow my heart.

I agree with you on this and I am thinking about trying to make this happen.

You're feeling he's the one then you really should try because later you can regret it till end of your life, avarage love is great, but not all people can have that amazing heart stopping love and if it happend to you don't waste it!

The relationship that I am in will never change. He is not willing to make any changes. He is an only child and like his mom in that things have to be done his way!

My husband knows that things are not good now and he knows that I care deeply for the other man. My husband may be giving his all, but he won't compromise on anything and my thoughts and concerns are not considered in our relationship.

This issue has always been an issue with my current relationship. Even when things are good between us, I still know that I do not love him as much as the other person.

I feel that the love we shared was one that only comes once a lifetime.

You are so right. I know that I love the man I am with, but I am just not in love with him.

I know that I can have a long term happiness with the former love. I truly believe that he is the one that I should be with. He has remained a constant in my life even when we were both married. He has never considered interferring in my marriage, but I believe that we would be together if I was not married.

I am confident in myself although my husband says I never do anything right.