To be or not to be married???

If he was asking you to marry him then go ahead. It's important that you two have the consent to get married. It should not be decided by you and your SIL. Kidding aside, since you've mentioned that you are willing to give him half your pension just in case you die first, then it only means that you feel responsible for him and would like to have a share of what you're suppose to have (if you continue living)then I think just to make things easy for him to have the claim on your pension (just in case)- marry him. This is to save him from any hassle. The same scenario applies if its the other way around. If he die first.

What your SIL said is absolutely right. It is very tricky to prove in court that you have been living together, but with a proper will left by your partner, it can be done. However, whats the harm in getting married. If you have been living together for 30 years, I don't thing a small thing like getting legally can affect such a long lasting companionship. What has happened before inyour life is a thing of the past. Such things could happen to anyone. That has nothing to do with this scenario. These are two separate events.

If you have been living together happily for thirty years now, then I do not think that marriage is going to change that. I think that sometimes couples that do not live together before marriage encounter problems after they try to live together, because it is a huge adjustment. That would not apply in your case. I also think that sometimes people view the other person as their "property" once they are married, and that does change a relationship. However, after thirty years I do not think that would happen to you, either. Therefore, I think that if you want to, then it should be safe to get married and the only thing that should change is the security of knowing that you will be able to financially take care of each other as you grow old together.

I'd have to research this a bit more before I "took the plunge" as you shouldn't need to get married if you really don't need to lol. Have you spoke to your partner about it?

I like the idea of being married if you are together. I really do not think marrying could hurt your relationship. After 30 years I think it would be nice to make it official :)

Look, as you said we can't know exacly what is your sittuacion, but marriage can't make problems they're not exesiting, after time now dont you think that with the first relationship you had some issues that you both didnt see before marriage? I would go for marriage on your place, you both can make it just 2 of you :)

I would have been married a long time ago. You are the same people whether married or common law. It is a loving thing to do to ensure each other's future with less headaches to deal with. That is just like one of the first things each of my husbands have done is get a good life insurance policy on themselves, so I would have something if they were to die.

Marriage is a label. Nothing more, nothing less. It does not manifest a commitment nor does it ruin anything. Both of those things are completely up to the people in the relationship. Marriage in and of itself doesn't change anything.

Marriage does make a difference. Its the psychological difference that makes the difference in the relationship. If you have a strong bond and there are no doubts or resentment in between you, if you are able to talk to each other and are best friends, marriage should give you peace of mind and strengthen the ties that currently exist. With marriage following a common law relationship (do you have that in your country?) some people get a feeling of "Aha, I've got you now!" and there is an attitude change for the worse as they are more relaxed in their behavior and the other partner "has" to accept whatever comes. Of course that doesn't work, The partner wonders where is the caring person they had lived with all these years and blames getting married for ruining the union. Sometimes the person is expected to change all of a sudden, be more responsible because they are now "married" as if that fact can change you into the perfect partner, with all that goes with that, be more loving, caring, do more housework, cook better, make love more often, even earn more (at the same job they had all along)! You both have to sit down and discuss it thoroughly and in detail to make sure that you can both handle any changes that might occur. Legally, it is better to be married. There will be no question of who is entitled to what. I have seen families split apart because of resentment over who got what and they were entitled to what they got! If you die before your partner your nephew will be legally entitled to question anything that you leave for him. No matter how well you think that you know him, once it comes to acquisitions you will never know how he will react after you go. Money is money and people can change when it comes into play.

I see that we are across the pond from one another so our laws may or may not be the same. I do know that here unless you are married you do not get the spouse's pension benefits. I was married once before for a loooong time. lol I did get divorced and several years later met my boyfriend for which we now live together. We have been living together now for six years and although I will not rule out marriage, I am very happy with the way we are. Neither of us speak about marriage and he too was married once before. Here the kids do get what we leave but only if they are under age, adults children will not benefit from the retirement fund. If there is personal assests and no one is named and we are not married, it has to go through probate court. So something to consider, but for us right now I won't say either one of us wants to get married at the moment. You should only do so if you wish and not because of laws, providing your partner also prefers to as well.

I think it's not the marriage per se that destroys the relationship. Whether you married him or not, you would surely end up separating for one reason or another. If I were. In your situation of course I would have some hesitations and doubts as I had previously been divorced and somehow that was quite traumatic. But then I should cast my fear away and think in reverse. If we are really meant for each other nothing can really separate us.

Marriage is in charge of something of my profesor I have learned something if two people want to have a succe successful mariage must look in on direction when looking in different direction will not be happy but will be tortured!

oh,i think so