my love is ruining my life
By suvoneel
@suvoneel (10)
India
May 28, 2011 4:12am CST
Hi,
I have a chat friend who co-incidentally lives near to my town. We are friends for the last three years.
I love her for the past 1 and a half year. She knows that but she keeps telling that loving someone is not so easy.She can't stay without talking to me.We have had our fights many a number of times but she can't stay without keeping in touch with me.She gets restless if i dont talk to her and says that she has SOME SPECIAL PLACE for me in her heart that she can't ignore but she doesn't love me.
She is getting married in december.She also cant stay without having me in her life. I am trying to control myself so that i dont have to care for her. I seek advises from u guys
2 people like this
9 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
28 May 11
Hi Suvoneel,
Welcome to Mylot! It sounds like your chat-friend thinks of you as a friend only. She has been honest and clear on that since she is getting married to someone else in December. You don't have much choice here but to accept that. The most you could do if it bothers you so much is to avoid talking to her entirely. Have you met her in person?
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
28 May 11
Well, that depends. I have to say that I have hung out with and gone out for a drink or lunch with guys that I think of only as friends. I would not kiss them or anything to mislead them deliberatly into thinking there could be anything deeper than friendship. It could be that she was torn for a time between you and the man that she is marrying but from the sounds of it, she has made up her mind. At this point the most you can do is be clear on how you feel and take it from there.
@latriciajones (846)
• United States
28 May 11
I dont know it seems to me that she is confused. I dont understand how she can have all of these strong feelings for you and not love you. Then again maybe she is wanting to have a very close friendship thats something like a relationship but its not normal seeing as though she is getting married. I would just tell her that okay you can be friends but you want to put a little distance between you two becuase you have feelings for her.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
29 May 11
Maybe she thinks of him as a very good friend and isn't confused at all on that. Maybe it is he that is reading it wrong. it sounds as if she has been very clear that she only thinks of him as a very good friend and nothing more. It is not unusual at all for good friends to go out and hang out and do things together just because they enjoy each other's company.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
28 May 11
Oh my, is that serious? She shouldn't keep in touch with her unless she change her mind. She is in one hand getting married in December, and another hand she told you that she can't live without you in her life? What kind of ball game she is trying to play? I think some girl trying to manipulate guy like that, no offense. Unless she is forced to get married this guy, otherwise, she loves you, she should go with you, not telling you she is about to marry another guy.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
29 May 11
Or she could honestly value his friendship and really want him to just be her friend. I have some guy friends who I would not want to lose as friends. I really love them being a part of my life but I don't look at them as someone that I'd want to be with in the same way as boyfriend/girlfriend. I kind of get where this girl is coming from. I've been misunderstood before. If I look as a guy as a "friend" then I will think nothing of going out for lunch or coffee with him and assume that he is thinking as I do...we are just friends. I am very upfront and it sounds as if this girl has been and said "just as friends" and still it somehow gets misconstrued. I think it's a "guy thing".
@keenan_savio (416)
• India
28 May 11
Hi Suvoneel...by the looks of it your situation does not look very good...also what you need to know is that if she is getting married then how can she still have a special place for you in her heart.....she has to make up her mind......So be alert and dont get tricked....no offence to her at all but what you could do is talk to her about it and ask her what her priority is cause at the moment you are left in an akward situation....good luck and hope all gets well.....
@suvoneel (10)
• India
28 May 11
I have talked quite a few times her.That's obvious.Right?She keeps saying about how good a friend I am for her.She doesn't want to loose that.She says that I am the closest person to her.She says that she keeps staring at her mobile for hours if i dont call or sms her.It has become so complex
@xSyncShot (8)
• United States
29 May 11
Ooh.... that's harsh....
Well, if it was me in that situation, I would have the same thing, probably like ask a friend, or a discussion here, but here's what I do. Even though I (acting as you) still love her, and she's getting married, you just got to ignore it. Maybe talk to her once in a while, but don't get hang up on it. Ignore her, and let her love what she's is marrying, and maybe just be a friend, maybe a best friend, but be a friend.
@ljalcairo (3)
•
30 May 11
Honestly man, there are a lot of girls in the world, try not to get hung up on one girl no matter how special she is to you, especially when she's already marrying somebody else. Try to understand that maybe she does love you, just in a different way I mean love comes in many different forms.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
28 May 11
She's getting married ,that's the reason why she says she don't love you but you have a special place in her heart.
that's really hard situation.
She might have that special feeling-she's just afraid to admit since she's getting married.
I guess you need to stop chatting with her,thu it hurts..but that's the better way.
@DoctorDidi (7018)
• India
28 May 11
If you are sure that your love is ruining your life, then take a courageous and positive decision of staying away from it with immediate effect.
@swatimca10 (215)
• India
28 May 11
She is stupid suvoneel, she is making you fool. If she can't leave without you then why she is getting married with some one else.
You should not be worried about her, she herself don't know what she want, may be you are in her life when she is very alone, that's why she got attached, but i think she just attracted on you.
