Reasons we dont want to be alone
By bonnie
@bunnybon7 (50973)
Holiday, Florida
May 30, 2011 5:09pm CST
Iam going to try and explain something here concerning my reasons for not liking to be alone here. Some love being alone. because they are used to it or whatever. some hate it and unfortunately im one of those
when i was young it was because of lonliness and needing a man around, now its not. its because im not well and cant fend for myself if something happens. a woman or child, anyones better then no one here. When i was in Florida, it was scarey because i had snakes around my house and fear of hurricanes while alone. but i could see neighbors houses etc. and even knew some of them
But when i talked about my unhappiness to son and his gf here, they started begging me to make the move here so id never be alone or worry over snakes coming in etc. so eventually they talked me into it. also, everyone in the house was to pay a 3rd of all bills. another perk. i moved here and right away his gf was making me feel unwanted. and she couldnt pay the 3rd. she said. ok, so that would have been fine, but her screaming at me about silly things, and cussing me made my son tell her to leave. hence me paying half and being alone if he goes for the night. but 2 nights or more is rediculous. now, it would be different if we had some neighbors i either knew or wanted to know but heres the deal. Our back door leads out to a yard with 8 ft wall all around. our front door is up a little side path between houses/ on that side is a couple thats seems nice, but they party and drink a LOT! not sure id want them or their friends to know im alone. other side is a widow lady that talks curtly when greeted, like hi! she says hi back, sometimes. 
Plus she has a son not quite right that scares me. Hes really tall and big, built. One day he knocked on our door. i eased it open a bit since it was day time and son was asleep. Well he handed me a dvd, which i shouldnt have taken. He said give me 20 dollars. i tried handing it back telling him politely i didnt want it. He was yelling and scaring me and wouldnt take it back. son got up by that time and said come on man, took him back home, handed his mom the dvd and explained what happened and all she had to say was"you know he has a problem! OK!" no apology , nada! the other neighbors ive seen only seem to speak spanish. so, now you see why i dont like being alone over one night only. Does that make any sense?
when i was young it was because of lonliness and needing a man around, now its not. its because im not well and cant fend for myself if something happens. a woman or child, anyones better then no one here. When i was in Florida, it was scarey because i had snakes around my house and fear of hurricanes while alone. but i could see neighbors houses etc. and even knew some of them But when i talked about my unhappiness to son and his gf here, they started begging me to make the move here so id never be alone or worry over snakes coming in etc. so eventually they talked me into it. also, everyone in the house was to pay a 3rd of all bills. another perk. i moved here and right away his gf was making me feel unwanted. and she couldnt pay the 3rd. she said. ok, so that would have been fine, but her screaming at me about silly things, and cussing me made my son tell her to leave. hence me paying half and being alone if he goes for the night. but 2 nights or more is rediculous. now, it would be different if we had some neighbors i either knew or wanted to know but heres the deal. Our back door leads out to a yard with 8 ft wall all around. our front door is up a little side path between houses/ on that side is a couple thats seems nice, but they party and drink a LOT! not sure id want them or their friends to know im alone. other side is a widow lady that talks curtly when greeted, like hi! she says hi back, sometimes. Plus she has a son not quite right that scares me. Hes really tall and big, built. One day he knocked on our door. i eased it open a bit since it was day time and son was asleep. Well he handed me a dvd, which i shouldnt have taken. He said give me 20 dollars. i tried handing it back telling him politely i didnt want it. He was yelling and scaring me and wouldnt take it back. son got up by that time and said come on man, took him back home, handed his mom the dvd and explained what happened and all she had to say was"you know he has a problem! OK!" no apology , nada! the other neighbors ive seen only seem to speak spanish. so, now you see why i dont like being alone over one night only. Does that make any sense?5 people like this
21 responses
@ElicBxn (63643)
• United States
30 May 11
well, I can understand it, and that gf sounds like she changed her mind, or maybe she really didn't want you there in the first place...
my advice, if you are alone, NEVER answer the door, if they keep knocking call the police, don't threaten to do so, just do it
I don't like to live alone, the times I have been alone I will turn the tv on to something like the weather channel just to have a "voice" around...
However, since I pretty much think I'm probably the baddest thing in the neighborhood, with the possible exception of the roommate, I really don't worry too much about PEOPLE...
However, I probably wouldn't have minded the snakes in Florida, I may not be my friend "T" who goes "herping" to catch snakes and lizards, but I'm not afraid of them...
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160978)
• United States
30 May 11
With you, I am not afraid of snakes. I am not wild about being alone all of the time, but I was alone with the kids while hubby drove truck. Now I am never alone. Someone is here with me it seems like all of the time.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
30 May 11
thats cute elic, maybe i should get out in the yard (front) and act really crazy and tough some time. think that would work? im still a bit scared of that neighbor guy as his mom dont seem to concerned about handling him. i cant help being scared of snakes. they just seem so creepy.1 person likes this
@celticeagle (168367)
• Boise, Idaho
30 May 11
I know several people who don't care to be alone. My granddaughter is very much that way. I can be for awhile but I feel better when I can hear the kids downstairs. Are you sure you aren't partially using your ailments because you want the attention? It's normal to want attention and people you love around you. If they got you to move there then they should stand by what they said originally. Thank goodness your son stood up for you and kicked her to the curb.
It makes perfect sense that you are not liking being alone. I would check with the home care places in your area and see if someone can come out occasionally and check on you. Or, check online for people in your area. Atleast you could chat if you were alone.
I really enjoy being alone. I get lonely at times but I can be alone for a long period. I like to hear the kids downstairs though. When I am alone at meal times I feel alittle nervous because I can't get up and down stairs very easily. I don't cook in my daughter's kitchen either.
@GardenGerty (160978)
• United States
31 May 11
If you do not really need a caregiver to help you, you could hire a companion, for occasional work. Just to come in and sit with you. I know I would take a job like that, bring my laptop, and have a cup of coffee or glass of tea and just keep someone company. If you decide to look for someone like that, then get a background check or some good references.
@celticeagle (168367)
• Boise, Idaho
31 May 11
If you don't feel safe do you have other family you could move close to?
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
31 May 11
well id feel much better if i could hear someone i knew downstairs or even next door if i wasnt afraid of them. but like i said. i feel so isolated here, except for someone who might do me harm.
no, im not using my ailments. but my ailments would enable me from fighting off or running from someone. i was just trying to explain my situation. guess i dont know how to explain it.
no, im not using my ailments. but my ailments would enable me from fighting off or running from someone. i was just trying to explain my situation. guess i dont know how to explain it. 1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160978)
• United States
30 May 11
I can understand that you feel uneasy. I would keep my phone handy and maybe a big hammer to defend myself. Is this a home that you own, or that is a rental. If it is a rental, perhaps you guys should look for another place to go that would be safer or feel safer for you.
@GardenGerty (160978)
• United States
31 May 11
He may be right. A tazer would give you an edge, but would not kill anyone.
@ElicBxn (63643)
• United States
31 May 11
those kids weren't committing crimes, the guys I went after were, and my NEIGHBORS knew it! (and they let the guys down the street know it too - oh, and then there was the time the guy got into the street to try and stop me on my moped... I just lowered my helmeted head and sped up - he got out of my way...)
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
30 May 11
its sons home hes buying. i pay half the mortgage as my rent. i think ive read to much true crime. and ive been trying not to read or watch any thing scarey lately though. son says i should get a tazer
and ive been trying not to read or watch any thing scarey lately though. son says i should get a tazer1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
31 May 11
hi bunnybon oh my yes I can well understand after reading about the son who got all upset when you would not buy his video and the other
neighbors , not friendly at all. I think I would feel the same way
myself.You make perfect sense and hope you can get your son, ,well
one of them, to come stay at night with you. When one is ill that's
no time to be alone if you can help it.Even a friend who would
'stay over one night could help you immensely.of course it would have
to be a friend you really like and who would come and keep
you company and not talk a lot when you did not feel like talking. some of my friends are so easy to be with as they keep quiet if I do not feel like talking a lot. Some people have a knack of being with you and being quiet in a peaceful sort of way.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Jun 11
thanks Hatley, i dont mind at all if they talk a lot. in fact i like it if they do as long as they dont ask me questions and have me have to talk to much. shes coming here the coming weekend and we will see if my other son can come the next. 
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
31 May 11
That was a scary incident bunny. That guy should be locked up or something...kidding. Anyways, you really should not be alone because you are sick and at times in pain! no one should be alone especially when they are feeling something. Please look for someone who can look after you I would feel bad and sad if my mother is going through the same way as you are, i may not be in good terms with her at times but she is still my mother and i would still sacrifice for her. Anyways, that gf of your son must pretended it is ok for you to stay there! people are indeed different! Hope you will be ok there bunny.
I would feel bad and sad if my mother is going through the same way as you are, i may not be in good terms with her at times but she is still my mother and i would still sacrifice for her. Anyways, that gf of your son must pretended it is ok for you to stay there! people are indeed different! Hope you will be ok there bunny. @bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Jun 11
thanks girl. your a good daughter im sure, this weekend i guess she will come here. 
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
31 May 11
Oh my bunny, I see and you do have a point there. I am sorry I do not live near you because I say it often I would come down and visit you. Surely you'd invite me over to stay once in a while, lol just trying to make you smile.
You must be careful with opening the door, no matter what time of the day it is dear because no only this looney son but anyone can come knocking for any reason. I have been on my own for so long that I am use to it. Now I live with my boyfriend but due to his line of work I am often alone. See why we need to live near one another. lol
Do keep your phone near you as much as possible at night, it all makes sense so at least you can dial help if ever needed.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
31 May 11
yes i do keep the phone near. you would likely get tired of me wanting you over so much
we'd sit and watch movies or mylot together. @hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
31 May 11
But we would have so much fun, imagine the neighbors would complain. Hey I could teach you Spanish by the way. 
Hey I could teach you Spanish by the way. 1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
11 Jul 11
I think it is only natural to not want to be left alone, especially at night. I am sure that even the nights you are left alone there your son does mean well, and just needs time to be away and have some Fun. It is not too much from time to time to allow him a chance to be out, and at least he chose you over his girlfriend. Have you expressed your feeling alone and maybe considered finding a place to go during the day possibly that would have things for people like you to do?
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Jul 11
i dont mind during the day or even evening. i can take one night over night a week even, but 2 nights no, its just to much especially when im in so much pain. 
no, its just to much especially when im in so much pain. 
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
12 Jun 11
Gee, with neighbours like those, I'd be pretty scared too and would rather be totally by myself...I'd certainly feel safer. That woman next door with the son with the problem needs to keep a closer eye on him.
I'm getting to the stage where there are many things I cannot do for myself and looking after a home and big yard is a big job. It really needs two people or someone that is capable or strong enough to do all the work all the time and that ain't me.
My daughter came once for two days to help me get on top of the housework and she totally understood how the jobs got away from me. That was over two years ago and she's not been back, even though she knows I cannot manage everything. She herself has a couple who come in and do basic cleaning at her place.
I'm one of those who loves living alone...'cept for my darling critters of course, but I can certainly understand where you are coming from.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
13 Jun 11
so sorry mstickle. it just seems so unfair that we run down way before our time huh? and no one to help enough, you know? i dont like living or being alone. 
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
31 May 11
Wow bunnybon..... wow. That does explain A LOT. It explains EVERYTHING. Now I'm angry and big time angry at your son! He knows all of this already and yet he 'needs time away'?? Why doesn't he just put you in a lions den instead?! ARG!! If he wanted time away then why did he bother getting you up there then? He should've left you where you were. You know, maybe it's a good idea for you to get a room mate, someone around your age so you won't be alone in case something were to happen, God forbid, and they can make the phone call for help and who knows, it could be someone who's looking to room up with someone their age as well. Or maybe move into an assisted living quarters where you will be safe for sure. Gosh, I wish you were closer to me for I'd be more than happy to help you out in any way that I can. You should not be in such a predictament. Bless your heart! Here's some points to help make yourself safe at any time. Any time you close a window, lock it. Every time you close your door, lock and bolt it. Have a baseball bat by the door. Get some pepper spray just in case and keep it on you at all times. Have a cordless phone with you or close by at all times. Son't answer the door unless you know who's on the other side and are ok with that person. Just a little added help to keep you safe dear one. Nobody should be scared in their own home but even in the best of homes, we can get broken into. I'm considered legally deaf so I have that fear too even though I'm in a decent neighborhood, anything can happen but you have to be proactive in keeping yourself safe. If I were your son, I'd be doing anything and everything to keep you safe. And I mean anything and everything. Shame on him!! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with such stuff!! Hugs to you sweetie!! Big hugs to you!!
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
3 Jun 11
bunnybon, when someone makes a promise, they need to honor that promise especially when it comes to their parents. I still say shame on your son because he's not keeping up with his end or he shouldn't have promised you what he did. To a point doesn't cut it. Shame on him! Now about Coco, how old is she? If she's up in age she could have lost some of her hearing. Sad but true. Now you're not being silly at all. You have a ligitament fear for a number of reasons and because of that, your son should be with you every night to keep you safe. He might regret not doing that one day.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Jun 11
thanks dear. i appreciate all your care and concern. yes thats what gets me as much as he says he cares and as much as i care about him, i have to admit, hes not right about this. i dont expect him to be a saint or a monk. i just expect him to do for me what he said he would at least to a point. i do do all those things you said about the phone, the locks etc. i just worry bout if they break in on me, im not able to run. i might hide in the locked room till help comes but, only if i hear them. now at times even coco has missed noises. 
not sure why. anyway, i know im a bit silly about it but cant help it. and if it was just 1 night, thats ok.1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
31 May 11
Your concerns make total sense to me. I don't blame you for not wanting to be alone in that situation. Would it be possible to rent a room out to someone else or is it just a two-bedroom apartment? Perhaps there could be some organization that provides volunteers (screened of course) to help people in that kind of situation. I don't really know. Is there someone you can call and talk to on the nights you are left alone? I'm sure there is some kind of crisis line, but if you can call a friend or family member maybe it can help. It would only be a temporary fix, but anything is better than nothing. Good luck with that!!!
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
31 May 11
The worst he could do is say no and then there would be nothing lost. If he really cared about you, he would consider it. I hope things work out for you! Have a great week!!!
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
31 May 11
no its a house my son is buying. i pay half the mortgage but feels like its his in his name. hes funny also about having someone stay. dont know if hed go for a room mate as hed have to give up his pc/ office room. altho he could easily do that with that giant master bedroom he has. i'll talk with him about it i guess. thanks. 1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Jun 11
exactly. i like being alone some. maybe even one night, but not another for a few weeks. 
@SimpleBB (1329)
• Philippines
31 May 11
For me..it is true that no man is an island.
Before, I used to say I can manage my own life, that it is better to live by myself rather than to be with others for the reason that I don't want anybody to bossed me around. I can do thing myself alone...that's how I know myself before.
I remember when I dreamt of being alone in the city. There are the usual things around though, except people. I saw opened groceries to which i could get everything without worries, transportations were parking around. But I don't know the feeling though it was daytime then. I could not feel I'm free but rather very scary. When I woke up, I realized that freedom to do whatever we want doesn't mean being alone. Time will come that we really need someone to be with.
One time I experienced that I got sicked that I was not able to get up by myself, I called a friend which was not at home then. I felt I would die then, I just cried until that friend received my message and rushed to our house finding me there crying, really need of help. Since then, I could not uttered even when I'm upset, that I can live without anybody or help from anyone. That's a big big mistake. There are so many things that could prove to us that we were meant to live with people around us.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Jun 11
yes it just isnt fun being alone when you are sick and need help. thats what im talking about. 
@murfus (78)
• Colombia
31 May 11
the reasons about we dont wanna be alone are because the human need to be social in some cases we live and we dont wanna be alone, first our parents, then friends, there are a few times we are alone but not all the life, thats why people dont wanna be alone, there are no antisocial people, there are just shy people who are scare to meet new people, but they also have their friends, good lucky i hope this help... xD!
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Jun 11
thanks its what i have been meaning this whole discussion. 
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
31 May 11
I understand your dilemma. I too am frighten to end up being alone and lonely once the kids leave the nest. I used to live in a large bungalow in a suburb raising my two sons and two adopted daughters. When my two elder boys moved out to work in other towns I am left with my two daughters who were still very young then. Of course my other half was living with us but he was often out and that left me with the young kids. I couldn't maintain the 4 acres of land and decided to sell the property so I can move to my new town house. I have not actually occupy the house as it is still under renovation but I hope to find friendly neighbours once I move in.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Jun 11
wonderful. i hope the neighbors are nice and not nutty like mine @JenInTN (27514)
• United States
31 May 11
Wow bunnybon...I wouldn't want to be alone either. You be sure to keep everything locked up tight while you are by yourself.
It is a shame that you moved to avoid being alone and then you end up being that way anyway. I think I would have rather had those snakes slithering around outside versus that freaky son of the neighbor lady.
Does Coco bark at strangers?
I hope that your son comes back soon. Tell him to get his hiney home!
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Jun 11
yes she does bark at strangers but sometimes she barks at other things to. noises and such, but sometimes it just the house settling and it creeps me out. i feel a bit sorry for the neighbors son but at the same time he scares me. you know
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
31 May 11
I am the type who likes to be alone. I love it that I can do whatever, and not have to care, and have the responsibility of others.
But I can certainly understand your predicament, and not wanting to be alone. I think I too would want somebody around if I am not well.
Hope your situation improves soon.
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
31 May 11
I can truly understand now why you don't want to be alone. Had i been in your shoes , i never want to be alone too. That place seemed really scary, with those kind of neighbors of weird behavior. Nice that you have your son with you.
But honestly, i am a person who wants to be alone once in a while. It serves as my moments alone with God and i can do things that i like. And those were the times, when i go home from work and hubby is still at the office. I savor those "alone " times much.
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
31 May 11
I don't like being alone either. I am in a situation that your situation was supposed to be in.I live with my husband,my kids, mom and step-dad.It's just that it worked out for us. We have been living together for 13 years now.
When my kids are all grown,my mom passes away and my step-dad and if my husband does before me. I think of this. I know it is strange but parents do pass away. I think about how I will feel being here by myself because I live in the country there isn't no neighbors close by except one and I don't socialize with them, except for their kid coming over here sometimes to play with my son.I would be real lonely.I wouldn't like it either.
I understand exactly how you feel. It would be lonely and scary that someone would try to take advantage of me being a lone.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
1 Jun 11
yes and it hits you even more when you've kids and family around you all the time for most of your life like i did. and like you do. there were times i thought id love it and i really dont mind 1 day and night but then i dont like 2 days and nights
@pr2012 (16)
• Philippines
31 May 11
Sometimes you need to be alone. Especially with nature... "All-One"
