young friend who got pregnant with a married guy
By matroxg450
@matroxg450 (6)
Philippines
May 30, 2011 9:37pm CST
i have a friend who's just 17 years old and a feshman in a university. she had a crush on this guy who happened to be a Clinical Instructor in Nursing Department of the same university.The guy is goodlooking but eventually married with 1 kid.when the guy knew that this young friend of mine had a crush on him, he showed interest to her. They exchanged text messages and without our knowledge they met somewhere else and something happened to them. that incident been made just once but pooped a big problem to the young girl. she's pregnant for almost 2 mos. now. he told the guy what happened but the guy hardly believe it's his. The girl doesnt know what to do now with her life coz she doesnt want to tell her mother for the fear that it would cause her heart attack.The guy on the other hand gave her 5 tablets of Cytotec to abort the baby.The girl has sometimes this thought of committing suicide for she doesnt know how to handle the situation. And classes for this semester will start soon. She still want to enroll to go to class.The guy now is hiding and told her he already stopped teaching. What do you think you can suggest in this situation of the girl? what appropriate things must she do? Please help her before anything else harm happened.
6 people like this
15 responses
@rhannealmoite (338)
• Philippines
31 May 11
First thing she need to do a preparation or a "plan" on how to tell her situation to her parents and second she could file a lawsuit against that "guy". I think she could sue him for "Qualified Seduction" cause she is just a minor and the professor has taken advantage of her. That guy needs to learn a lesson. And about the baby, no matter how she look at it, it is a Gift from God, she should never take an abortion for it's morally wrong and against the law and heaven sake. Note: I'm not a lawyer or something alike, I'm just interested with some "laws and regulations".
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
1 Jun 11
I think that this guy took advantage of a student and he should be found out about. He abused the trust of the university. I hope that he comes out of hiding and gets arrested. Your 17 year old friend might be able to hide her pregnancy from her family and get her baby adopted. The best thing for her would be to tell her mom what has happened. Due to her father dying she is already under much stress. I would advise you 17 year old friend to stay at university studying until 38 or 39 weeks pregnancy. Then she could give birth. Either she could then keep her baby or have him /her adopted.
1 person likes this
@TazRes (827)
• United States
8 Jun 11
Hello matroxg450,
I am so sorry to hear about your friend; It's sad that this situation has occurred from a crush but it does happen. I personally think she should talk to her mother and let her know what happened. Also I recommend pressing charges against the teacher, he should not get away with that at all.
Tell her to NOT get the abortion, if she does not want the baby put it up for adoption, it is a gift from God. Sometimes things happen that we can't understand as to why but God has plans for us all. And also she can take this as a learning experience not to get with married men or any other man unless you are married to him. I pray for your friend that she will the wisdom and knowledge from the Holy Spirit, because He leads us to all truth. God Bless.
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
31 May 11
Seems like my friend's distant cousin. In this world youngsters are just getting to things as they like. It's sad , really. My friend's distant cousin is in her 20s I think and she has this on and off boyfriend. One day the boyfriend broke off with her for good and the parents went to confront the boyfriend's parents. I mean ...I don't know what happened behind the scenes but this girl was a real hot tempered girl and she was the last in the family too. And then after awhile they got engaged to be married ...and they will get married soon , I think.
This is a happy ending ...but not without rocks along the way. No young relationship was easy...the parents went to confront the boy's parents because he wasn't taking the relationship seriously being on and off for years. The parents were worried because she has a wild lifestyle with this guy ...I don't know whether the parents knew about her activities or not ...whether she drinks and smokes and sleeps freely with the guy. I mean she's not pregnant (yet) but who knows behind closed doors...in this situation I think the parents have to tackle the situation first and if confronting the boy's family helps then go for it..
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
31 May 11
I forget to add , the mom of the girl would be supportive no matter what I'm sure..just like in the situation of my friend's distant cousin..they go clubbing , and the guy drinks so I don't know about the girl ..and the three letter word I really don't know whether they do it or not...so I just pray and pray that the wild girl will change her ways and will not become preggy one of these days. I mean her boyfriend has been around for years but you never know sometimes youngsters did it and hid the fact from parents..when the guy finally marries her then all will be well..at least the parents won't have to confront the guy's parents again.
@piya84 (2580)
• India
31 May 11
This professor needs to take his responsibility.He cant get away after doing something like this to young girl.
Is there any school or university counselor you know.Or some one who is enough mature and old this girl can talk to,like aunt or older sister?If she can not talk with her parents directly then these people can act as a middle man.
@matroxg450 (6)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
indeed, this guy must face the consequences he had done.we already asked help from other people who are mature enough. They will help to have this guy sued to court.
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
31 May 11
I am sorry to hear.
You should tell your friend to go to the parent plan hood and speak to the people there and seek help. It's up to her if she wants to keep the baby but will she have the funds and please do not tell her to take any medication that isn't prescribed!
Best of luck to your friend
@matroxg450 (6)
• Philippines
31 May 11
being a single parent at a young age is not so easy. she hasnt told her mother yet and so want the situation to be secret at the moment. if anybody else would know, it will bring her shame and that alone she cant bear.she cant withstand the shame it will bring to her and to her family. unfortunately, she had already taken 3 of the pills.and the other day she got drunk just to forget the situation even just for a moment.
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
31 May 11
Dear friend,
That is really a messy situation but I feel that girl should be given all that moral support. Here the girl is really needed help. May be she should be given support. If I was in the situation of that girl I would give birth to my child. But I do know how much mental strength that girl have to face this. Anyhow I feel it would be the social side that matters,if not I feel that it would be better to give birth to child, there are lots of people without even a child also there are people willing to marry women with child also. I feel it would be better to be honest and to be justice to oneself.
In future I feel not to repent upon any that has been done and kept as a secret. May be being open in this could also get a person who is knows her and willing to be with her. The child I hope it is one of the most precious gift of God. Anyhow more than any I feel it is the girl decision. As I am just looking this without its practical impact I could just give my opinion. But I feel that girl is one who could give a better one after she had got better advice. Wish everything will get better...
@Tonton01 (235)
• Philippines
4 Jun 11
Adoption is the way to go if you want not much trouble when it comes to hiding stuff.
Your friend could decide to have a long trip for a year, until she can get to a place where she can get the child adopted to parents who want to take care of their new child.
As for the hubby-then-boyfriend-and-babydaddy though, either let him be (for he will have the eternal regret later on in life) or like what others would suggest... sue the bloke.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
She needs to tell her mom.
She needs her family now more than anyone.
Encourage her...no one can help her but her loved ones.
And being a friend,you need t give her all the support that she needs before she does worst action.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
2 Jun 11
Give birth to this baby, I always against abortion, that is not right. For me, if I am this guy, even though I don't intend to spend the whole life with her, I still have to take some sort of responsibility for what I had done. That is totally wrong. Tell your friend, be strong, and raise the baby right. After she gave birth to the baby, she can still go to University again, and study again. Be a good mother. For this guy, what goes around, comes around. He will meet his Karma.
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
1 Jun 11
Hi!
This will be a really tough decision to be made. At the current situation, there is no way return and what she need to do is to tell her parents about it. That is the only solution she can choose. Unless she want to abort the baby. I believe no matter how bad the situation are, the parents will not blame her but they will actually help her to go through it. Let the parents make the decision and at least someone can help her and should not let her be alone to settle the problem. If you know her parents, you should advice the parents not to scold her but instead must support her and help her to make decision because that is not what she wanted too.
@BannedHelsing (693)
• Philippines
31 May 11
First she must accept the problem that she is preggy. There is nothing good in hiding it 'cause soon everybody will notice that her belly is bulging. Better break it to her parent's first. But be sure to take extra care in informing her parent's about it. After, when her parents know the situation, they can guide her what to do. It's their call now. I know it's hard and a lot of courage is needed to talk to her parents, but it's a necessary steps. I hope for the best for her.
@sjvg1976 (41290)
• Delhi, India
5 Jun 11
Hi Matroxg 
its really shameful & painful hearing story of your friend.To have a crush is something & to get pregnant is the extreme.
Now she should consult a doctor & check if the abortion can be done at this stage or not. If it can be done she should get it done immediately to hide the situation.But i really feel she should tell this to her parents because you cannot hide many things from your parents & if she don't tell & her parents caught her that would be more painful & will have more impact on her mother so she must tell her when she finds suitable time & i thing they can guide her more better as the girl is just of 17 years she is just a kid & need some support.
its really shameful & painful hearing story of your friend.To have a crush is something & to get pregnant is the extreme.
Now she should consult a doctor & check if the abortion can be done at this stage or not. If it can be done she should get it done immediately to hide the situation.But i really feel she should tell this to her parents because you cannot hide many things from your parents & if she don't tell & her parents caught her that would be more painful & will have more impact on her mother so she must tell her when she finds suitable time & i thing they can guide her more better as the girl is just of 17 years she is just a kid & need some support.
@rajmishra (1)
•
4 Jun 11
she should live in her limits first.She should think about her parents.well she should concern from a doctor becoz it's the qns.of her life.She should not let him go(the guy) eaisly.She has to realize to that guy that he is a such type a big dog.He was already married then how can he do this with her.He is a dog.Let him realize what he has done with her.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
31 May 11
Oh this is sad and bad at the same time. First she definitely needs to speak to her parents as she is going to need all the emotional help she get during the pregnanacy. Do tell her not to use the pills as they can be harmful to her health as well.
After speaking to her parents, they maybe upset but what is done is done and they will be able to take a better direction with the situation. The teacher is the one who has done wrong, as he should know better then to entice a young girl as herself. Remind her that her life is more important then what has occurred and very important she gets the help she will need.
Best of luck to her and please guide her as she will need all the help she can get.
