Tantrums and the dirty looks from strangers/shop assistants you get!!

No, I never give in to tantrums completely even if it appears that I do, I do one of two things if possible I take my child and leave and then once home I send them straight to time-out or B. I pretend I'm giving in let that child get what they want if I can't leave and when I get home if it's eatable I toss it in the trash and send the child to time-out or if it was a toy I used to donate it to the toy drive at church now I list it on Listia my seven year old has helped my gain a lot of Listia credits and then when the person gets the item because she is older I show her the feedback where the other person actually has it. If I couldn't afford to buy the item(s) and I was stuck in the store anyway I would just have to tell myself all kids throw tantrums and those people who are giving me the dirty eye is either not a parent or just in denial.

I have 2 kids - boys who are 10 and 4. The older one has never thrown a tantrum (except now at home) but the little one has done so many times. I don't give in to tantrums unless my husband happens to be with me and he prefers giving in than create a scene. My approach is different. I firmly ignore my son first and if I think it's going to be a long winded tantrum and he's not going to calm down enough for me to talk to him (I talk to them only when they've calmed down...I go down to their level and look them in the eye when talking to them), then I pick him up and take him home. Till a year and a half back, we had bad tantrums ....but now that has reduced a lot and I can say it hardly ever happens and my son knows that it definitely doesn't work with mommy...and that it's the only way to get daddy's attention (that's for him to figure out what to do now). I don't care who is looking at me because I'm not going to see these people ever again and my main concern is that my kids learn to behave and not really to make a good impression on people. Having said that, I'm also against disturbing other people for no fault of theirs and if I think the tantrum is too long and people are getting troubled, we move away even if it means carrying a screaming howling child to the car. The only place I cannot do this is when we are travelling...and fortunately it's not really happened much then...but I've travelled(long distance) less with my little one than with the older one.

All of my daughters pulled the temper tantrum in the store trick at times but one in particular was given to tantrums more frequently. They were horrible and beyond the norm. Did I ever give in to her to save face? NO!! Not ever and not even once! I got the looks and comments. I just dealt with them. I gave her warnings...we will leave the store if you continue. And then we did....we would leave the store. If I really really needed to shop then I would sit in the car with her until her tantrum subsided. If it could be put off, we'd go home and wait for another time and try again. Eventually, she did get the idea that she would not get her way by throwing a fit and we would leave the store. I never really cared what others thought. My main focus was was on what was the best way to handle my child.

This was not shopping, but in a Burger King. My grand daughter has Autism and friends and I went to one of the ones that have the play area inside and I broke her sandwich in half to tell her that if she eats that much she can go play. Well, it threw her into a total rage, but she did stay seated and I just moved all food and drinks away from her. Yes, there was a lady that left and made a rude comment, but we are in an inclosed children's area and she was on the phone and was upset that she couldn't hear on the phone and left. Oh well. I did try to buy her another sandwich, but that didn't work, after all, I did touch her food and maybe she didn't want it split in half. My friends and I continued to eat and just ignored her and told the other people that she is Autistic and that I was not giving in to her. I told her that if she did not eat, she was NOT going to play. My friends have a daughter that also is Autistic, so they totally understood. When we were done eating, I packed up my grand daughter's food and told her that she would eat it for supper tonight and put her shoes on and we left. She did not play. She has since, sat and ate her food and didn't do that again to me at all. Even though children, with or without disabilities, need to learn what there limits are and that there are rules. This does not work for every child. My grand daughter is also hearing impaired and does get upset when she doesn't understand things, but she did end up eating that for dinner.

Hi. dont_pick_your_nose. Well if it was my child that would be throwing the temper tantrum, I would quickly hurry up and leave the store if I can. If not, I will give them something that will distract them or keep them occupied so that they can stop screaming. I also, may buy them their favorite snack to eat or to drink. I have been in this situation many of times with my kids and believe me, it is never the most funniest situation to be in too. As for any other parent's child whether they are disabled or not, I will ignore them because I understand that children in general, will throw temper tantrums so it is not a big deal to me. I would not look at them strange any less than I would look at another child that is upset.

My cousin who is a pre-school teacher said to me that whenever my son has tantrums never give-in to him because if he knows he can control you and can make you follow his wishes with his wailing and crying, he will do just that. So I did what she told most of the time. Unfortunately on one vacation we had, he just did that and started crying at the mall. We just left him and he was crying at one corner and people started looking at him. I know what is running to these people's minds. Where is the irresponsible mother who can't even care if her son is wailing? So I picked him up, and we had the talk!

I have left a full cart at the store, I find the nearest sales person, apologize for the extra work they have to do and leave. I keep a pocket full of treats. Mostly goldfish, cheerios and some fruit snacks. Every aisle at the store I give her a few more things to munch on. I have learned not to try and stop too many places. I have also learned that if you promise something you have to follow through. My big thing is going to the park after the groceries are put away, or if it was clothes shopping or something that can sit in the car, than we stop on the way home.

Hello, I know it may be hard to realize during the tantrum but remember, special needs or not, all children have tantrums in public at some point. Especially with the special needs population, you must pick and choose your battles, sometimes that means giving in to the problem/situation. If the tantrum is in a place or at a point you cant andle, I suggest giving in. (not all the way) Within a few days from the incident, I would find a time and plae where you can replay the situation without giving in. Just remember, the people looking or commenting haven't walked in your shoes. You are extremely brave for all you have to deal with each day!

My son (he's 10 now) tried to throw a tantrum in the grocery store when he was about 3. He threw himself on the floor and started crying. I said "ok, bye" and started walking away. (He never left my sight) When he realized I wasn't going to give in he jumped up and ran over to me. He never tried to do it again.