Do you think people are getting less polite and considerate?
By scheng1
@scheng1 (24649)
Singapore
June 5, 2011 6:01am CST
It is common sight in many cities whereby the young people do not give up their seats for the elderly and pregnant women.
It is also a common sight to see elderly ones behave badly.
There are instances in hospital and homes that the elderly ones abuse the nurses and caretakers.
It is also a common sight to witness road rage.
It seems that road rage is international. There is no city spared by it.
Do you think people are getting less polite and considerate?
4 people like this
31 responses
@myfb2009 (8296)
• Malaysia
6 Jun 11
You are correct, nowadays people especially youngsters, most of them tends to behave less polite. In fact, you can see all these impatient and unconsiderate sight almost everywhere in the world. With the tension from our daily life matters, people who unable to control their feeling will do all sorts of unwanted matters, including behave badly in public. It is really a pity to see all these unwanted sight in public. It is good if our government able to start a campaign to educate public the needs to be polite.
@myfb2009 (8296)
• Malaysia
12 Jun 11
Yes, people living in the cities, tends to become less polite because they are influenced by many kind of bad behaviors since from a tender age. Even the TV programs now shows more bad manners then good manners in their stories. That's why, sometimes you will see some youngsters seems no respect to their elders at all.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
13 Jun 11
Hi Myfb2009, that is very true.
I see a world of difference between youngsters in my country and the youngsters in the rural areas of our neighboring countries.
Many youngsters in the cities do not enjoy close relationship with their immediate family members, such as grandpa and grandma.
Over here, many old people live alone or live in the nursing homes or old aged homes.
Even if they live with their sons and daughters, they are more likely to stay with those who are single.
I think this factor plus the TV account for the change in moral values and mannerism of the people.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
HI Myfb2009, i think many people in the cities are less polite and less considerate than those in the countryside.
In many rural areas, the traditional culture is still strong, and people still follow the manners of their parents and grandparents.
I personally think the real culprit for bad manners is the TV program.
If only the TV shows cut down on violence and vulgar language, the behavior of people will improve.
While the attitude of young persons is more noticeable, that does not mean the older ones are good examples.
Many of them are just as bad, or even worse.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
6 Jun 11
People get angry, in general. Of course, we can contain it but we all have our own limits. Another thing is, people don't really care about another's day, especially those they don't really know. They might greet you "How's your day?" but that almost means nothing. It's just something we all say when we really have nothing to say, does it make sense? Although, there are people who really mean it, they really wanna know what's up but these people are really few and it depends on the motive.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Frontvisions, I think even when our colleagues ask us about our health, they are not really caring about our illness.
They just want to say something, and they are not that concerned.
Bosses are worse. Most of them are concerned about this report or that report.
They want the employees to produce the reports even though the employees should rest in bed.
I have some colleagues who suffered miscarriage due to work stress.
I think something is seriously wrong with the society when pregnancy is terminated for the sake of work.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
That is indeed wrong. That is why we have leaves for employees to use it. Employers should strictly follow the standards or they'll lose employees.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
13 Jun 11
Well, it'll all break when personal life collides with professional life. She did what she had to do and the employer did what he had to and that produces a clash between two worlds. What happens when two worlds clash is they break apart. I guess it's not the right time and place for the girl. I'm sure the employer didn't have a choice either; it's the company policies that pushed the course of nature here, not anyone of them.
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
7 Jun 11
No one knows basic manners, and if they do they don't demonstrate them!
I moved in December, and started working in my new location six weeks later. These folks are RUDE! I've been stepped on, rolled over (by a full cart!), treated badly...no one knows how to say Please, Thank You, or Excuse Me! OMG somedays I just want to throttle someone!
I USE my manners, but there are times when I just don't want to, like if someone needs something in front of me on the shelf--if you don't say Excuse Me, I have even less motivation to grab it and hand it to you, let alone move out of the way.
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
12 Jun 11
Scheng--
Proper manners should start from toddler age and taught by the parents. Sadly, it is often these same people who are quick to blame others for their problems and issues they have. Thanks for your response!
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
13 Jun 11
Hi Scorpiobabes, I think the parents teach bad manners instead of good manners, since the parents are at fault too.
When I was young, we had to stand up and greet the teacher.
We could only sit when our teacher returned the greeting, and allowed us to sit.
Sometimes, we annoyed the teachers so much that we had to stand the entire lesson or wrote lines and lines promising to improve on our conduct.
i doubt children today learn this basic manner of greeting people.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Scorpiobabes, that sounds very bad.
I think you have landed in hell!
It is true that people today are so selfish and inconsiderate.
They do not think about the others, and they learn not to say sorry or ask for permission to do certain things.
Even in the office environment, many bosses are not able to control their people.
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
7 Jun 11
I don't think most people today are impolite and inconsiderate enough. Because those things that we witness sometimes is occasional.
There maybe people which having attitude in those particular events. But people who is considerate are more number than those impolite person...
With the case of the elderly in the hospital. That is not an avoidable thing. Because as we know old people decline their thinking to be acted something like that...It maybe because they are old and need more care that they don't feel from their children cares...they need care from their children or family.
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
12 Jun 11
Yup! There is a strong family ties, here. That is the reason why many Filipina go there in your country working as domestic helper because of family ties...
Here in our country old is no room in the old of the aged or someone cares aside from here family. Here in our country old people always care by the family. They don't want someone to care for them...this the family values here.
There maybe people who is not gentlemen enough but a few. We are much give important to those people who are considered disable like pregnant woman...people always give here sit on the bus or a train...
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
13 Jun 11
Hi Aerous, I just hope that the moral values in your country do not get corrupted by the Hollywood movies.
Great to see that the family ties are still strong in your country.
I think one factor is also in the family size.
Over here, the families are small, with just one or two children.
When the children grow up, and study or work overseas, there is no one to take care of aged parents.
I know that most of the families in your country are quite large, compared to ours.
I mean if there are four to six children in the family, it is easier to share the load of taking care of elderly parents.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Aerous, probably the people in your area are more religious, and have stronger family ties.
Over here, the situation is very different.
If you have a chance to work here, you will see how different the people behave.
They do not have much patience, and are inconsiderate towards elderly ones and pregnant women.
My colleague cannot get a seat most of the times on the train, even though everyone can see that she is pregnant.
Those who manage to get a seat just pretend they never see her.
@allknowing (137781)
• India
10 Jun 11
What is more frightening is indifference where people do not acknowledge the presence of another. It is better to hate, fight, argue than just not bother about the existence of another. I am seeing this more and more among youngsters who will only be in touch with those that could be of some use to them.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Allknowing, actually it is not just a matter of youngsters having bad manners or rude to others.
Many older ones are in the same state.
They only remember those who are of use to them.
In many companies, the employees will be so nice to those who hold certain power, such as the secretary of the big boss.
However, once they gain enough promotions by stepping on others, they no longer see their colleagues as important.
They start to treat others as less than the furniture.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Allknowing, yes, I have noticed it too.
Somehow those youngsters do not seem to have a conscience.
Even when they see someone torturing a cat, they would not do a single thing.
They just pretend that nothing happens.
I think they never even bother to notice or see their family members at all.
It seems that only them and their friends exist, and whatever happens in the world does not matter to them.
@allknowing (137781)
• India
11 Jun 11
There is a difference. I was talking of indifference. Indifference is a new disease which is seen more among youngsters.
@amitgune (877)
• India
6 Jun 11
Things are changing rapidly. Our society values are deteriorating and this is a global phenomenon. We can only try to make it better, but somehow, I feel it is not enough.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Amitgune, the trend is very worrying.
The more so because we are getting older, and we start to think of our old age.
If people today do not respect the older ones, the situation is likely to get worse and worse.
What will the future young people behave?
Hard to imagine how the behavior can get better another thirty years later.
I think by then, we will lament about the loss of good manners, as well as regret our inability to pass down moral values to the future generation.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
12 Jun 11
Hi Amitgune, we can only pray that when we get old and sick, those younger persons will be kinder to us.
Look at the way they treat the older persons, I really fear what will happen to us when we get old.
Recently there are incidents where the caretakers abuse the elderly ones in the nursing homes, such as slapping the old people to make them keep quiet.
@ladygator (3465)
• United States
7 Jun 11
Yes I definatly think that this is becoming the common practice amongst the people. But it has to come from an anger inside that they can not resolve. When people are being a certain way its often the way that they feel about their self or a situation that they are in and cant change so they just eject the misery they feel upon others. We are also in a very self absorbed, have it right now way about things and that just isnt the natural way that we were meant to be, We were meant to love and treat one another as we would like to be treated.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Ladygator, the selfish attitude certainly prevents people from feeling happy and positive about themselves.
If they show concern and care for people around them, they would not need to read so many books about seeking happiness and love.
It is sad that most people only know how to blame the government, the society and everyone else for their failure.
They seem to think that everyone is wrong, and only they are right.
@tjburcham (690)
• United States
8 Jun 11
Yes, we are to crowded. Our lives are so busy and rushed. Stress causes alot of it. I also think that when we don't hold people resposable for their actions, I don't mean getting the law involved, I mean, not making our kids from early in life to show repect like giving up a seat to someone or holding a door for someone, just those simple acts of kindness does alot for someones selfesteem. I learned that if you do these simple things, it will most likely provoke a kind responce and if time allows next thing you are having a short, pleasant conversation and then you have a better day. Even if you never see that person again.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Tjburcham, I think we cannot just blame the stress of life.
Even when those young people have nothing better to do, such as during their school holiday, they are not better-mannered.
It is partly the fault of the society, since Hollywood teaches everyone to act violently, and to seek revenge instead of seek forgiveness.
It is partly the fault of families.
If parents blame everyone else for their failure in teaching children, the kids have no chance to learn what is right and wrong.
@tjburcham (690)
• United States
11 Jun 11
I was taught manners, and more important to be conciderate of others. That still does not stop the stress in my life. But it does control the way I handle it. I think to much is blamed on hollywood, turn the t.v. off. Better yet, don't use it as a babysetter. No matter how good your upbringing, when it comes to survival, even that little bit of a threat will bring out primal instinct.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
12 Jun 11
Hi Tjburcham, yes, that is true.
The parents today do not teach about manners, and let the TV does the teaching.
The teachers today have no power to enforce discipline in class.
If they have tried in the past, they would have gotten tons of complaints from the doting parents.
In the end, nobody knows anything about manners.
They do not even know that you have to say Thank you, when someone helps.
@jdyrj777 (6528)
• United States
6 Jun 11
Yes, i do think so. A couple of weeks ago my oldest grandson stayed with me foer the week. We went to the nearest mcdondalds to rent movies from the redbox and desided to get some beverages too. The girl did not even say "thank you, come again." I was really surprized by this. I think her manner was very rude.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Jdyrj, you are lucky enough not to experience worse than that.
Once our company sent us for a course. I forget what is the course all about, but I can remember the lecturer.
He is a retired army officer.
He related his experience with youngsters who were very rude.
He took a bus journey on a double decker bus.
The youngsters were jamming up the way to the back of the bus and the stairs leading to the upper deck.
He asked them to give way to him.
The younger people said, "faster! you old man!" while he was going up the stairs.
He nearly wanted to box their ears.
I think that is far worse than the cashier who never thank you for buying from mcdonalds.
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
6 Jun 11
I do believe on that... people nowadays are getting more and more rude and inconsiderate,impolite and no respect to others. That's what it takes with the influence they got from watching those shows that are doing that crap.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Bebs08, yes, the TV shows definitely do not treat good manners anymore.
I think those producers are so bad that they cannot direct a show without violence anymore.
Every show seems to have more cursing and swearing than words such as Thank You, and Please.
If only the concerted effort of the movie industry to highlight good manners through the TV program is utilized, then the children and adult will know what is good and what is bad.
Just too bad that the adults are not setting good examples.
The children think it is cool to act like a gangster.
1 person likes this
@picjim (3002)
• India
5 Jun 11
We are all experiencing most problems you are talking about.Yes,consideration for others and good manners are not as evident as they were in the years of the past.The elderly in their twilight years are not in the best frame of mind and this could be a reason for their crankiness.Road rage, which was earlier restricted to a few choice swear words has increased manifold to include battery and other aggravated violence.Are we a lot more stressed in our lives leading to these unwanted traits?I think people especially the younger lot have to be told at an early age about good behaviour and manners so many of these problems confronting society can be reduced.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
9 Jun 11
Hi Picjim, I think the problem of bad manner does not involve just the age factor.
It has nothing to do with education too.
Even highly educated and high income persons do not always behave themselves.
Some older persons are ridiculous rude.
They hit the nurses and other caretakers in the hospitals, treating the doctors and nurses as less than animals.
The younger persons are also at fault.
Some of them even go to the extent of knocking you down, and then cursing you for blocking their way.
Sad to see the world becoming such a barbaric place.
@picjim (3002)
• India
9 Jun 11
Hi Scheng,I only want to clarify one point and that is that youngsters if told by parents about social etiquette and manners will be a lot more well behaved.Education has no bearing as many well educated people aren't acquainted themselves well in public.Here doctors and nurses are well respected except for a few stray incidents.Age has no bearing on a persons manners,both the old and young are guilty of bad manners and behavior.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
25 Aug 11
I think so, due to many reality brutality in our real life. We become less considerate, and less respectful to other people. People are becoming more selfish, and more likely to consider themselves, whatever beneficial for them comes first. That is a sad, sad, sad world we are living in.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
25 Aug 11
Hi Kingparker, I think the newspapers and TV keep on reporting about bad news also help to dull our conscience.
When people are immune to bad things that happen to others, they are not willing to help and consider the others.
It is a sad world we live in, especially when we are in the big city, surrounded by so many people that do not care about us.
@abatencila (970)
• Philippines
16 Jun 11
Maybe because people are now loaded with their own problems that is why their patience is not enough. Sometimes we just have to be more understanding so we can also understand why are they like that. But if ever we encounter one, just ignore it.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
19 Jun 11
Hi Abatencila, I prefer to stand in the crowded public transportation, even when the journey is an hour or more.
There are many people who need the seats more than me.
However, I will get angry when I see young people pretend to sleep when the old woman or pregnant woman is standing near them.
I feel like giving them a slap to teach them some manners.
After all, all of us will grow old one day.
If they cannot treat older ones better, they can expect worse when they are in their ripe, old age.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Mimimoyz, actually the change is taking place.
But the change is for the worse, not for the better.
I think the manners of people thirty years later will be worse than now.
Impossible for them to learn good values if they are behaving so badly now.
The young people who are rude and inconsiderate today cannot become a good parent who teaches good values overnight.
They will teach the wrong things, and their children will behave even more badly than ever.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Mimimoyz, that is assuming that the parents know what is good and bad conduct.
From the disgusting ways of many parents, I do not even think that they know how to behave properly.
Once a friend's daughter told her father off.
Her father was gaping at a young lady in a miniskirt.
In fact, the father was trying to sink lower in his seat so that he could see above the miniskirt.
His daughter scolded him when they get home.
She said that her father should not behave in this manner in front of her mother. It is a disgrace.
This incident happened when my friend's daughter was just eight years old.
If not for my friend, this young girl would not know what is good conduct at all.
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
6 Jun 11
In the USA, you bet it is getting less polite and considerate. I haven't had a man hold a door for me in so long I dont even remember it...unless I am with my son...he opens a door for me...car or building! But people these days are rude, inconsiderate and don't even know the meaning of the word polite. And why? They aren't taught it and it isn't what they see on TV and video games and such. And since that is where most get their "learning" training...they do as they are taught. Sad but true.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Coffeebreak, the situation is not unique to US.
Over here, good manner is seriously lacking also.
Talking about holding door for ladies, I seldom see it in my workplace too.
I remember an incident at work.
That was the time when we were waiting for the company transport.
When the bus came, everyone rushed forward.
The guys pushed the ladies away, so that they had seats on the bus.
In the end, those who had to stand were the elderly ones, and the small sized ladies who could not squeeze up the bus fast enough.
Such a sorry sight!
If people treated their colleagues like that, I think they treat outsiders worse than this.
@greenfeathers (1206)
• United States
6 Jun 11
Indeed. The adoration of the god in the mirror is in full swing and there's naught to be done about it. Its as tho folks are reverting back to the 'terrible 2s' and the childish notion of 'ME! First and foremost!'..Its time for the powers that BE to scrap this social experiment and move on to the next plan..Enjoy!
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Greenfeathers, I doubt anyone has the power to teach manners to everyone on Earth.
Bad manner is not just happening in one country.
Even in the East, where young people have stronger link to traditional values, the moral values are disappearing fast.
I think the Cultural Revolution, and the years under communism, has changed the attitude of people in China and Russia.
That generation of people had practically destroyed all the traditional values.
The West is not doing any better.
The Hollywood shows have more violence than before.
Impossible for a person to watch it day and night for twenty years, and still remember his manners.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Ebuscat, I doubt the lack of money can account for the lack of courtesy.
It does not mean that when we are worried about debt and job, then we have the right to get angry at others.
I think the reason for lack of manners is partly due to the violent shows on TV, and the video games teaching us to kill and kill.
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
6 Jun 11
I think that is usually true. I think part of the problem is the way younger people are raised. Their parents don't teach them common courtsey, or when they do they aren't around to reinforce it. There is so much stress today a lot of people can't cope with it, working so much and then coming home to children that misbehave. Children today seem to think the world revolves around them and in some cases don't have to work for anything. I am disabled and when a younger person offers to help me, I am always surprised. It is usually older or middle age people that offer.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Cerebellum, I doubt many parents know how to behave themselves.
Obviously they cannot teach courtesy if they do not have it.
Over here, many parents even threaten teachers when the teachers discipline their spoilt kids.
If parents are like that, then they will produce kids who are more like the sons of the devils.
I think you have seen your fair share of young people who are rude and plain inconsiderate.
@shrijsr (574)
• Bangalore, India
6 Jun 11
Hello friend,
the answer for your discussion is certainly yes!
We all are just put a false curtains in front of our eyes and given it a name "COOL"
now a days, a person who does whatever you mentioned is considered to be the coolest of the rest! This is where the society is moving towards.
I don't understand why people don't understand this. I have been a victim literally for being a better spoken person. People actually tease me for respecting others and they speak like its a biggest criminal offense. It is indeed so embarrassing to be victimized for good deeds too! No doubt, with the increasing technologies and access to so much worldly pleasures, people are forgetting the basic ethics and cultures of a human being!
All we can do is, "GOD SAVE" ask for him and leave things to his hands. Nothing else can we do other than praying to him and most importantly, not changing like the other people has changed.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Shrijsr, so sorry to hear that your friends tease you for your good manners.
So sorry for your friends who do not know what is good and what is bad.
if they treat people badly, they are sowing seeds for abuse themselves.
I think when people are old and sick, they have so much time to reflect on their bad deeds, and they start to feel regret and disgust with themselves.
That is a form of punishment.
I think with the lack of love and consideration for others, more people will have a lonely old age.
1 person likes this
@itsalwin (13)
• Philippines
6 Jun 11
you have observed well sheng1. in my opinion, the older generation are to be be blamed for this. respect and courtesy, just like any other moral characteristics, begins at home. the youth of today are not able to extend such because they were not taught or disciplined to do so. it is now our turn to make things right, for our sake, because in the future, it could be us standing on the bus while the younger ones sit comfortably.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
11 Jun 11
Hi Itsalwin, that is very true.
In fact, the breakdown of families mean that values are not passed down properly to the younger ones.
The younger ones may not have the benefits of staying near grandparents too.
if they had the influence of grandparents, they may have better manners, and they learn to respect the elder ones.
Just too bad that people today learn from the violent cartoons, violent shows and video games.