Do you have a sister that just wants to sit at your house and talk?
By cream97
@cream97 (29087)
United States
June 7, 2011 7:24am CST
My younger sister tends to come to my home a lot. I don't mind the company sometimes, but there are just days that I don't feel like having any company. Last Monday, my sister came by and she did not call me. She told me that her cell phone was off and out of service, at that time. When my sister came by my house she stayed for six hours. All that she did when she was at my house was just talked to me, mostly. I gave her something to eat. I was not even able to do any online work on the computer. I did not want to rush her off, because I did not want to be rude. My sister comes by my home quite often, so it is not like I have not seen her in ages. The last time that she came by was in April when she brought my niece with her. She also came by this month, but I just did not feel like having any company at all. I love my younger sister so much, but I just need my own personal space. I don't have time to just sit around and talk all of the time, I have other things that I have to do in my house. I also have things to do for my children as well. Whenever she comes by my house, all she does is just sit and talk for the whole entire time that she is here. Whenever I call her on the phone to ask her if she does not mind taking me to the store up the street from my house, she never will. This store that I am referring to is about 3 to 5 minutes away from my house, in driving. It is always a "No", or "I don't feel like going anywhere right now." But yet, when she decides to come by my house she expects me to let her in so that she can talk to me for hours and hours. It is just not fair at all, that I can't never get her to do at least one favor for me. I know if gas money was an issue, she would tell me, but I doubt that it is.
7 people like this
16 responses
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
7 Jun 11
I had an Uncle like this who use to always come by after I arrived from a long day of work. Sometimes he would be sitting outside my door. It was terrible because I had things to do and prepare and could not because I had to entertain him daily.
There were times I would almost want to fall asleep while chatting with him as he would stay for long hours and I had to be up at 4am daily.
I tried speaking to him about it and he would not listen he still came over. Whenever I said maybe I can come by you on the weekend because it is too hectic for me to do this daily he would always say no, it is easier for me to come here. I had to one time make it home early and when he rang my bell, I and the children quietly stayed inside and did not open the door. He finally got the message. lol
I do not have a sister, like this, I can maybe suggest that while she is there you go about your routine and maybe she will understand that you are busy and limit the visits.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
7 Jun 11
it is because we think that this will be a permanent menace u did not open the door. I have also done like that earlier and I regret now because people for whom I did are no more. When I introspect I feel bad.
have a good day.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
7 Jun 11
Not really because I thought he was a permanent menance but he was without a break coming over every single day, non-stop and I use to have to wake up at 4am and wake up two small kids too, each morning and while he came to visit every single day, I had to sit there and chat.
If I got up to cook, do housework and or sit with the children he would continually ask for something for me to do so I was not able to do anything at home while he sat there. He was unemployed and I spoke to him nicely that I did not mind the visits but I needed time to do my home chores and tend to the kids too, but he would say no worries and still do it.
I also had appointments in the evenings and or go shopping then I had to take him with me as he would not want to go home while I tended to my duties.
The worse of all is that he did not drive so he would stay until 11pm and midnight sometimes which I had to drive him home. My kids had to be in bed at 8pm, as getting them up at 4am was not an easy task, so imagine getting my kids up at midnight to drive him home then put them both back to bed for an early start at 4am. You have no idea how hard and complicated this was for me being a single parent. I could not understand why daily and it went on for 3 full months non-stop. I use to arrive home at 6:30pm and most days he was waiting outside my door. At 7:30pm I would ask him if I could drive him home as my kids needed to be in bed and he would say to me, no it's okay it is too early, Ugh way too much. I asked him nicely that if he could wait until the weekends and he said we will see. So you see ravisivan he was a daily hinder and after I drove him home, I had laundry to do, lunches to prepare for the next day and I would climb in bed almost at 2am for a 4am start. While he slept all day in his home. So no matter what I did he would not accept it. I also offered to visit him on the weekends so that this way I could limit and make the visit shorter and he would refuse. So sadly I do not have regrets as my understanding is that he does this to another family member. 
Courtesy at ones disrespect is not right.
Courtesy at ones disrespect is not right.1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
7 Jun 11
@cream thanks so much for my BR! 
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (92711)
• United States
10 Jun 11
She does sound selfish for expecting you to drop everything for her, but not return the favor. Is it possible she is depressed? She sounds like someone I used to know. I thought she was just obnoxious, but she was really depressed. She seemed okay on the surface, but when I finally sat down with her she was struggling. I mean she was annoying as all get out, but she did have a problem I didn't know about. Is it possible your sister may be that way?
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
9 Jun 11
I know people like that and it gets on my last nerve. They expect you to always be available to them. I work seven days a week plus have my house, yard, bills, laundry and you name it to take care of, including my husband and daughter. I do not have the time to just sit and talk every day.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
8 Jun 11
Hi Cream,
I don't have a sister but I've had friends that do this. I just tell them. It's not mean or rude. I just tell them that I love their company but that I really just don't have the time to sit and chat for hours on a daily basis. If I didn't say anything then it would eventually ruin the friendship because I'd find myself groaning each time the person pulled into my driveway. I think you should talk to your sister and tell her how you feel. I think you should do it before it comes out in a burst of angry words one day when she catches you in the wrong mood. She probably has no idea how you feel and I bet a little talk would help a lot.
1 person likes this
@r3jcorp (1382)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
I have two daughters and your story might be a future scenario for them. My eldest is very quiet, loves silence and to be leave alone while my youngest is very talkative too. My youngest is very vibrant and active and her brain has full of ideas which she wanted to share with her sister but my eldest find it annoying. I sometimes overheard the eldest to shout "be silent" to her sister but later on they go along well. Being a parent, i would love to see my daughters daughter things together like when my eldest is practicing her music instruments, she would ask her little sis to sing for her and she would accompany her with her instruments. I am so proud of them when they to that and I guess, you have to consider what your mother would feel. You will make your mother happy if you spend a lot of time with your sister. Just have lots of patience whenever she was around, you wouldn't know her importance unless she was far away from you, I guess you wouldn't like that.
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
7 Jun 11
Well, honestly, I wish I lived close enough to my sisters to visit them or have them visit. But on the other hand, I do know what you are talking about. I have lots of teenagers in my area who tend to like and come over to play with my younger kids. They are like family to me, but sometimes I really don't have the patience to put up with more kids than just my own. You know what I mean, those days that you had a long day at work and you just want to relax but it is hard to do because there are so many people running around you, etc. It becomes a bother. Recently, one of the teenagers brought her boyfriend with her. That was find, but they started arguing and slamming doors, etc and it was really starting to irriate me. I tried to keep my cool and thankfully they eventually left. But I do know if it happens again, I will be asking them to leave.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
7 Jun 11
hello cream,
I always miss my sister,she lives far from me and we only seen each other twice in a year during school vacation.
We always spend time together for the rest of the vacation.
We go shopping,groceries,night hang out with our 2 brothers whenever we have the chance.
Now i missed her
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
7 Jun 11
My sister and i live close enough to alk to each other but not close enough that she would just pop over to my house just to sit and talk. We talk a lot on the phone but when we are together we are usually doing something more productive than just sitting around and shooting the breeze.1 person likes this
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
7 Jun 11
Tell her the truth Cream that you don't like her to be at your house doing nothing except talking. Let her know that you have other things and works to do. It is not good too to talk so much as this will lead to other problems. Ask her if she has anything else to do or asked her to find one because you have no time to talk with her and excuse yourself from her. It must be hard to get away from this.
1 person likes this
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
7 Jun 11
This happens. It may be because u are well place status wise and ur sister is not so. Please tolerate her as long as she creates disturbance. U can tell her that u want to work online and keep urself busy and talk to her. have a good day.
Supposing ur sister reads this--how will u react to her?
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
7 Jun 11
Hi. ravisivan. To be able to have my sister over my house and work online at the same time, is just impossible. I can't talk to her and work online at the same time. I would need to have a full concentration on my online work. I don't care how she would feel if she read this, because my sister does not know about this site. I am not concerned about her discovering this site either.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
7 Jun 11
Excellent ! You have answer point no.2. What about point No.1 is it that u do not like her because she is not of your status. If that is so I would suggest change.
anyhow have a good day.
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
7 Jun 11
Oh if only I had a sister.
I have no sister but I always like to have.I understand that you sometimes its hospitality comes at you more. To many times we want to stay yourself and do what we want.However, we want a little free time for us.Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@sajjad2011 (86)
•
15 Jun 11
Nice discussion friend yes i also have a sister which dasnt want to work at all in any time she sleep sleep and sleep she is too lazy but she talks so continuously and rapidly that no one give her question's answer
@eileenleyva (27560)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
Between you and your sister, I can relate more to your sister. I am the one who does the visiting, and I know that sometimes my elder sister has many things to do instead of talking to me. But I have many things to do, too, but I did prioritize my sister amongst all the important things I had to attend to. Nothing in my to-do list is gratifying than the chat or conversations I have with my sister, even if what we are talking about is just a simple recipe... Anyways, I do allow my sister to hang or fold the clothes while we talk. And I help myself to a cup of coffee...
Life is so full of activities we subject ourselves into, including so much time on yahoo, but there is nothing more comforting and relaxing than pestering a sister who can't breathe with life's activities. I feel that I am my sister's breather.
@lajonez (477)
• Poland
11 Jun 11
Maybe you should talk with her about this, tell her that sometimes you want to be alone, and that you're working from home and you don't have so much time to spend with her. I'm living in different country than my sister and she is coming to visit me soon, and I'll love it but she wanted to come for 3 months, but I told her that she can stay one month no more, because we will have not enough time to take care of her 3 months. she understood this :) and we're fine.
