If my family have something to say to my sister they should tell her and not me.
By cream97
@cream97 (29087)
United States
June 7, 2011 8:58am CST
My family is known to do things like this. When they talk to me they will ask me if I had seen my sister, because my sister hardly comes their house to see them. So, when they have something to say about her they will tell me. Just last week, my grandmother told me that she told my niece that she needed braces on her teeth. My grandmother said that she said this statement right in front of my niece's other grandmother too. I feel like if my grandmother thinks that my niece needs braces on her teeth, she should tell my sister herself. I am not going to be sending information back to my sister at all. I don't like to play the role of being the gossiper. Same thing with my aunt too, she will ask me questions about my sister's old house, that she gave up. If my aunt want to know anything about my sister's house that she used to live in, she should ask my sister this information herself. Why ask me instead? If anyone can tell them all anything any better it would be my sister and not me. This is my sister's business and it is none of mines. My family is my family, but sometimes I wonder if they are really my true family.
5 people like this
11 responses
@AmbiePam (92611)
• United States
10 Jun 11
That has got to be annoying. I have no idea why people do that. They tell you all this like you can influence your sister or something. And it isn't something you are even thinking about. And since they are family you would think they would be able to communicate with your sister instead of relying on you to do it.
2 people like this
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
9 Jun 11
I know exactly what you mean. I go through the same thing with mine. I do not want to hear this and that. I do not want to hear it or deal with it. I think they should tell the person directly and not gossip or get me to take sides on it.
2 people like this
@lkbooi (16070)
• Malaysia
8 Jun 11
Hi cream97, from the story telling I think it's nice to have more family gathering to promote and strengthen the family relationship. This could get the related family members to be more closer. And knowing one another more having communication during the gathering. So you don't have to act as the middle man passing others personal business info anymore. It's really tired and monotonous indeed. It's sure that we will be facing difficulties to organize such occasion at first. Anyway nothing is impossible to a person who has willing mind I suppose.
Happy posting 
and have a nice day 
and have a nice day
2 people like this
@celticeagle (166830)
• Boise, Idaho
7 Jun 11
Maybe your parents think that what they have to say will get back to your sister through you. Gossiping doesn't get anyone anywhere. It is your sister's business. Why would you think they aren't your real family? They have some concern about your sister and she needs to be around to hear it. Not you!
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
You could tell them honestly about how you feel being the middle man. Tell them nicely that it would be better that they talk to your sister about it. That way, whatever they would like to be conveyed will be directly heard by your sister, because if you do it yourself, your sister might think you are making stories.
2 people like this
@Abello (68)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
Yes they are your true family, and I think they trust you more than your sister. Just tell them that you appreciate their trust and confidence for you, but ask them to do one big favor - "stop asking me things I don't know, I'm not my sister's keeper". Now, they won't stop - try to do the same thing to them - people learn fast through experience.
@prinzcy (32305)
• Malaysia
15 Jun 11
I also hate to be the middle person. If someone need to tell someone something, talk to that person, why using others to relay the information. Plus, it's like using text in your mobile phone instead of calling. The feeling were not passed on properly. Some might misunderstood and some might not understand at all.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
7 Jun 11
I don't like to be the middle man in any family squabbles. i feel if you have someting to confront a family member with you should tell them instead of passing the buck to someone else to do it for you.1 person likes this
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
7 Jun 11
Haha..Don't say like that Cream. They are really your true family~
Same thing happened to me too. Sometimes other siblings will asked me what they want to know about the other siblings or parents asked me about my other siblings situations. This is because they can't get the information from the owner as the owner refused to speak anything to them so they are seeking the info from me if in any case I do know about it but most of the time I will not completely tell them everything. I just say that they do not have to worries as there is nothing bad happen or I just give them a hint of the situations. I am not acting like I am hiding or lying things from them but you know people, even if there are our family the news will get spread to every members in just a minute . It is fine with me if they come with solutions but the only thing I will hear are sulking, moaning and blaming things. So I will just say that I know a little and the owner didn't tell me everything about it so please try again to ask them if they want to know more~
Same thing happened to me too. Sometimes other siblings will asked me what they want to know about the other siblings or parents asked me about my other siblings situations. This is because they can't get the information from the owner as the owner refused to speak anything to them so they are seeking the info from me if in any case I do know about it but most of the time I will not completely tell them everything. I just say that they do not have to worries as there is nothing bad happen or I just give them a hint of the situations. I am not acting like I am hiding or lying things from them but you know people, even if there are our family the news will get spread to every members in just a minute . It is fine with me if they come with solutions but the only thing I will hear are sulking, moaning and blaming things. So I will just say that I know a little and the owner didn't tell me everything about it so please try again to ask them if they want to know more~2 people like this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
7 Jun 11
Hi cream,
Yeah it happens I think in a lot of families, somehow a way of simply talking all the time. You are right when you say they should tell her directly and the sad part is that maybe telling them that they get defensive and offended.
It is hard being the middle person all the time and sadly this is what is happening. 
