How to deal with a bully?

Philippines
June 8, 2011 6:29am CST
I want to hear it from you...If you were bullied by a person how would you deal with it? For me, I was being bullied before by my classmates, it was so embarrassed. I really got angry to them and used to have a fight. But I realized why do I have to be affected on what they are saying to me. I know that its not true, I know my self. I dont have to explain or prove to them. I always think that they are not existing on my world.
2 people like this
9 responses
@roneal (62)
• Mexico
8 Jun 11
I was bullied all through elementary school and I got sick of it. In middle school, I found the biggest, baddest person I could and started hanging around them. Nobody messed with me after that! Today it is different because I am older now and unless it is someone I care about, then I could care less what they say or try to do to me. Sometimes I will get a teenager making fun of my clothing or something and it brings me way back but, I have to remind myself that I am older now and they are still going through that phase. I am working with my kids now and trying to help them get through their being bullied days..
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
On your own point of view, what do you think is a main reason why they diong this to others? or should I say why bullying is happening?
@roneal (62)
• Mexico
16 Jun 11
I have found through just knowing people and studying them, that bullying is caused by a number of factors. First, there are those who have insecurities about themselves and so they bully on others before allowing someone else the chance to bully on them. They do this out of fear and it is mostly subconsious because sometimes they do not even realize thats why they are doing it and would never admit to it. However, there are also those who are simply bored out of their mind and find it entertaining to pick on other people..they get a nice kick out of it. Its almost like the jester back from midevil times who danced for the king and was constantly insulted by him..the king did it for entertainment and kicks. Finally, you have those that are dying to be socially accepted. These people do it for attention from others and acceptance in society and lets face it, we as human beings have created this social scrutiny circle in which mostly everyone lives by. If you do not live by the "social rules" of society then, you are simply considered an outcast and you dont belong. When young people are faced with this, they are not mature enough to understand how they should respond to it and so they respond as best as they know how..by pointing out other peoples flaws and bullying them. Usually, as we grow older, we begin to realize that this type of behavior is unacceptable and instead, we are closet bullies..meaning that we think things about people without actually telling them or hurting their feelings and this is considered being polite. Though, there are still some adults that I guess just never come out of it and continue to behave as a child would.lashing out at everyone to protect themselves...these type of people should seek a counselor..It is ironic how things work...and thats my take on the whole bullying thing!
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
Basically, bullies get into a victim through intimidation. To counter them, you must first try to contain your fear of them. Don't let your emotions tie you up. Once you get your emotions in control you'll be able to think clearly of a way to lure them away. Most bullies really are hard knocks, so you shouldn't play their game. They are good at playing their kind of game like ridiculing in your case. Try not to fall trap into their ridiculing by just ignoring them. Don't get affected and after some time you'll see all those ridiculin will fade away.
• India
9 Jun 11
seconded.
• India
9 Jun 11
Firstly, people never give you embarrassment. They only give you respect. When I was in school, I was deeply interested in this subject matter. I used to hang out with everybody, bullies and even with people who thought of themselves as weak. I never belonged to any group as such. There are many different aspects to this discussion. First rule of tackling bullies is to be cool. Until they touch you don't touch them. Don't cry. Always smile. Whatever they say, take it light. Keep telling yourself that, they will not take you down. Once you stop getting intimidated by them, they will automatically tend to go away from you. I have seen this method work. If a gang of bullies try to beat you, then catch the weakest of them and beat them back. They might taunt you but will leave you alone. Follow these and let me know whether this works or not.
@megamatt (14291)
• United States
9 Jun 11
Most bullies I think tend to pick on those who they know will not fight back or stand up for themselves. Because let's face it, they would not be bullies if they picked up on actually strong people who will knock them around if they try anything with them. There are many people who are passive are targets to bullies, and are unable to really defend themselves, because they believe that nothing will be gained. However, while violence is rarely the answer, sometimes the threat of violence can actually get the bully to back off and direct their attentions to someone else. Granted, it doesn't always work and they have to be firm and has conviction, which can be a problem for many people standing up to themselves. Going to an adult is what people tell you to do but in the real world, this rarely works. In fact, it makes things far worse. At least ten times worse. Adults will not be around all of the time and bullies tend to be what they are in the sense they will escalate their activities when there are no adults around. Therefore it will not only be the matter of going to an adult that will do something but proving it to them. I think any blow to the bully's ego will work. Whether it would be brushing them off completely or being forceful in defending yourself it depends on the situation. If they can't feed their ego, then they will deal with someone else.
• United States
9 Jun 11
you can ignore them if they do not bully you very frequently, let's say everyday. but if they bother you all the time, you will need to fight them. because it is very uncomfortable to let people bother you, while you just keep quiet and pretend that they do not exist. i have a bigger bully problem when i was working in a company 3 years ago. the boss said rude words to employees everyday. every single day. there was no day without anger. and his words are really rude, such as stupid, idiot, poor, etc. he even said bad things about your family. i feel so stupid now because i let him do it for 3 years, while all i did was just keeping quiet. sometimes i even smiled and agreed to what he said!!i feel really stupid and pathetic. then i promise not to be bullied anymore or bully other people. if you face verbal abuse, you must fight back by saying something that contradicts the statements of your bully. this is the art of speaking you should master. once you can't speak smart, your bully will always play around with your words. but if you have physical abuse, you must fight back by doing physical things again such as punching or hitting. the point is: do something. NEVER stay quiet
• Canada
9 Jun 11
I was never bullied, because of my size and the people I knew. Though, my friends did get picked on and because of it I always end up in a fist fight. Funny story actually, I got into a fist fight because my friend back in grade 3 was was pushed down by a grade 7. So I threw the first punch because i knew that I can handle myself and definitively the guy who pushed my friend. (only reason why I was comfortable with the punch is because, growing up i tend to fight a lot.) On my way to the office, it was great because, as the teacher walked me back to school, my older brother got into a fight in front of us. He too did fight a lot. In the end I am not a fan of bullies, I cannot tolerate it, for my size I would expect myself to be a bully, but I don't believe in them. They should not have to exist, and i guarantee, there are good people out there who will defend you from bullies if need be. My advise to you is to always stay humble and kind. Do not allow people's actions towards you affect your actions towards yourself. Odds are you will never see them again, and perhaps you will gain success in life whereas they will remain who they are. Be yourself and always smile, people will respect you more for being who you are and having confidence in yourself.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
That's the main thing. Most people who are bullied are those who doesn't want to fight back or talk about such bullying. I don't know how bullies see it however I guess they can sense that these people could get away with it. I can't really say what I'd do if I were in that situation because I have never experience it (thank God). However, if my children or siblings where in that situation, I would really appreciate it if they're going to tell me. There's a way to put a stop without the person really knowing who said so. What did you do about it by the way?
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
It is hard to deal with bullies since sometimes they never stop even if you are not even fighting.. But what you did is right, ignoring them since they aren't worth your time anyway. They'll grow up someday and be mature.
@moirai (2853)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
Hmm... I think I was bullied to some degree when I was younger, but luckily what I experienced wasn't too extreme. They didn't really embarass me in front of everyone, they just made me feel really small. And they didn't go out of their way to seek me out, so what I just did was basically stay away from them as much as possible.