how to help my friend if i can't tell her the truth?
By babybea
@babybea (82)
Philippines
June 8, 2011 8:16am CST
i found out that my best friend and my ex boyfriend have a relationship yet my ex boyfriend was still courting me to get me back in his life. i still love my ex yet i also love my best friend. my ex told me he loves me but how can i believe him if he is still attached with my best friend. he told me my best friend told him that she would rather die if she founds out he was cheating on him.
i need help.. what should i do?
4 people like this
7 responses
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
17 Jun 11
Try telling a story based on the truth. The characters used should be fictional. At the end of the story ask for her opinion on what the character based on her should do. And then ask her what she would do if she is in a similar situation.
Then give your opinion on t his issue. Be careful not to antagonise her at this stage as you might lose a friend.
1 person likes this
@babybea (82)
• Philippines
19 Jul 11
i tried that already and she said the if that will happen to her she will kill herself.. after hearing her answer that i realized i should just not tell her and keep it in myself.. its hard seeing my best friend being fooled but i don't want to hurt her.. so its better that i will just ignore them
@dont_pick_your_nose (2279)
• Australia
25 Jun 11
If you think you love either of these people then you should let thetruth e heard. Get everything out into the open who he wants and who he doesn't want... If you both still want him after all the lies are exposed.
@babybea (82)
• Philippines
19 Jul 11
yeah but still if i tell my friend i know it will hurt her and i don't want to hurt her, its hard seeing your best friend being fooled by you ex but its harder to tell her the truth when she already told you that she loves him very much and she'll kill herself if she knows that the guy she loves is just playing
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
8 Jun 11
He is still courting you to be back in his life, while he's still attached to your bestfriend.
Seems to me here that it is you who's disturbing the relationship. Even if you say that you were the first one in his life, you are no longer together that is why he's with this best friend.
If I were you, I would be out of the picture for both of them. If he still pursues you, you will ignore him and ignore that 'love' you feel for him because it's not real.
I tell you, if you leave the two of them alone and he still truly loves you, he will do everything he can to prove it to you, he could even leave your bestfriend. But still I wouldn't want to be in your shoes if that happens, because surely you will lose that best friend. Further, if he can do that to your best friend (courting other people while they're together) he can do that to you.
So choose your actions wisely.
Good luck and have a great MyLot experience!
@babybea (82)
• Philippines
14 Jun 11
i've started to ignore them specially him and i know there are lot of guys better than him but still i don't want to see my friend hurts, she is more important to me than him.
i know i made it more complicated, i really hate thinking what he done and now i've starting to hate him.
yet, i'm still hoping that sooner he will learn to love my friend and hope he won't hurt her
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
13 Jun 11
Unless you enjoy having a broken heart, cut your losses NOW & remember WHY he is your ex!!! There was a reason he became your ex & you haven't revealed that part. Since you say you still love him, I can ONLY assume that he dumped you. Doesn't sound to me as if he truly loves you. He has proven 2 things to me & I don't even know him...he's a liar & a cheat!!! PLUS, you're NOT much of a friend if you'll cheat with your "best friend's" boyfriend!!! Actually, I also wonder what makes her want to date your ex??? Get out of this triangle before it does too much damage!!!! 
I said it once, but I'm sure you skipped over that part...DUMP HIM NOW before he breaks your heart & you lose your best friend!!! i can promise you, he's NOT worth it!!!! 
I said it once, but I'm sure you skipped over that part...DUMP HIM NOW before he breaks your heart & you lose your best friend!!! i can promise you, he's NOT worth it!!!! @babybea (82)
• Philippines
14 Jun 11
i know he is not worth loving and i really hate him for what is doing now yet its hard to tell my friend the truth specially now i saw she is falling for him and i don't want to hurt her feelings. i wanted to ignore them but the fact remains that he is a cheater and nonsense guy.. they are lot of guys who are worth loving and i know that i can find that person in a right time..
@zeith88 (115)
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
Welcome to mylot. Have fun being mylotter.
Let him go. Theirs a lot men who deserves your love. In a relationship, trust is the most important so why do you trust your man if you know that he is cheating.
Or maybe your ex-boyfriend use you best-friend to make you jealous thats in that way he win you back.
What do you feel? Can you forgive him? So be it...
@babybea (82)
• Philippines
19 Jul 11
i was fooled by him once and that once is enough, i don't want to be fooled by the same person.. yeah your right there are lots of guys in world who is better than him. if he wants me to get jealous his wrong coz i don't ant guys playing y friends specially my best friend.. and if i had to chose from him and my best friend i'll chose my best friend..
@sunnystarfish (210)
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
I think you should let go of your ex. If he did that to you and your best friend, then he is capable of doing it again. Just walk away and let them be. But tell your best friend that your ex can possibly two time her if he already did it to you.
@babybea (82)
• Philippines
19 Jul 11
yeah i already did that but i don't want to hurt her i tried telling my bestfriends opinion in a third party situation and she told me if that happens to her she will kill herself.. so i can't tell her the truth but it would be better just to ignore them besides thats their lives
@didik_suprayitno (41)
•
9 Jun 11
better to be honest even though seemed to hurt. instead of lying to cover up mistakes.
