Drawing the line between friend and parent

You are lucky if your children confides in you and tells you everything. You can draw the line when in the course of their sharing , you find some things as not good. You could butt in there and say your piece about the matter, not in an imposing manner, but in a way that they will take it as the best advise. You can even compromise on how they could better deal with it. That way, you are a friend , yet a parent to them.

try to know them more ,talk to them,and you will find your problems disappear and you will get your answer.

I think that it is important that you can talk to your children, and that they know they can go to you with any problems, but at the same time you're not their friend. A friend would not discipline or prevent you from doing something that they don't approve of; however as a parent you must take steps to do this. This does not mean that you can't have fun with your children, and I find that parents who are friendly with their children are more effective in discipline than those who are just strict- as they can find that their child actually becomes scared of them instead of just respecting them.

there is a saying that too much of everything is bad. that said, there has to be moderation in everything. ironic that it is what i desire for a parent and child relationship. i have two kids, only one confides and the other one does not voluntarily but if asked, she will give a little information. the one that confides easily though does not confide everything, too. i guess we have trained them to stand for themselves, and not be too dependent. there were many instances that had happened in their young lives that probably was kept from us because they know 'they can handle things'. while on the other hand, i was wishing all the time that they tell me everything. i do think that it is healthy to talk but we also have to train them to be independent in some ways. telling you, as their parent, everything, including things that should not be said, speaks that they are too dependent on you, and the decision making falls on you. perhaps, in some aspects, they truly regard you as very important telling you everything they want. a good thing and bad thing rolled in one. you also have to speak your mind out when needed. do not be so afraid. you can do it by suggestions implying that you do not have to decide on something they can decide on.