What does he want!!
By jazel_juan
@jazel_juan (15747)
Philippines
June 10, 2011 9:37pm CST
I really do not understand him at all. I previously deleted my facebook account and my husband found out. And the thing is now, he suspects me i am doing things behind his back..and he got suspicious now because i deleted my facebook account! 
i did that to avoid further problems, i deleted all facebook accounts i have except that of my daughter because she uses it to play..
Last night would be like the worst argument we ever had, we threatened each other, i tried to understand him and tried to reason out but he says he understood me yet again i could see that he does not. He suspects i am seeing someone behind his back and even suspects my travels!! Its all work travel and he knows all of it! I even invited him to go with me..grrr. I then asked him what does he want me to do, i could resign from work if he wants to, i gave him my mobile phones so he could see who's been texting ( yeah to my friend swirlz, i do not have a phone right now) and i told him, does he want me to just to stay at home? but he doesn't as well. I do not know what does he want from me! when in fact i am giving it all! Men are just so hard to decipher!!
i did that to avoid further problems, i deleted all facebook accounts i have except that of my daughter because she uses it to play..
Last night would be like the worst argument we ever had, we threatened each other, i tried to understand him and tried to reason out but he says he understood me yet again i could see that he does not. He suspects i am seeing someone behind his back and even suspects my travels!! Its all work travel and he knows all of it! I even invited him to go with me..grrr. I then asked him what does he want me to do, i could resign from work if he wants to, i gave him my mobile phones so he could see who's been texting ( yeah to my friend swirlz, i do not have a phone right now) and i told him, does he want me to just to stay at home? but he doesn't as well. I do not know what does he want from me! when in fact i am giving it all! Men are just so hard to decipher!! 3 people like this
16 responses
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
11 Jun 11
Have you guys gone to a counselor? Has he said why he doesn't trust you?
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
Because he said i have too many guy friends..or he thinks i have too many guy friends..its crazy and no we have not gone to any counselor.
1 person likes this
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
11 Jun 11
You should probably try. He either thinks your are guilty or he may be guilty of something himself.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Jun 11
jazel you do need to get that controlling husband to a =marriage
counselor before he hauls off and does more than just be jealous and controlling. he sounds like a wife batterer in the making and you do not need that, he has to let go of you and trust you or what kind of a marriage can the two of you have?Not all men are like this and he sou nds like he needs some help; in anger management.if he hits you ever do not take it get help at once. this man sounds like he needs some mental help; and you both need some counseling too.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
I would love to go and talk to someone over this but i do not even know if we even have a marriage counselor here in my city! but lucky for me, even though i get on his nerves he never once hit me.. he does not hurt me physically..he is just jealous i believe..and i am willing to talk to him about all these stuff later..
@beamer88 (4259)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
Hmm... You're probably right. Men can at times be hard to decipher 'cause we tend to keep our emotions at bay. I just hope this is only a stage you two are going through. It does happen to a lot of married couples. Just don't allow it to go out of control. Have a heart-to-heart talk with him. Maybe there's more to this jealousy of his than it seems. You have to know what really is bothering him. Wish I could help more but this is really something that only the two of you can really resolve.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
i believe so, that if there is someone who could solve this it could be just the two of us and how i wish when we have that talk later we will be able to sort this through because it is hard sleeping with a heavy heart.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
Why don't you asks him to join mylot so he will know what he wanted to know and maybe he will also understand everything-there's a lot to share and learn here (hehehe)
Well,i really feel sorry about this jazel.
I have many guy friends,but my ex-husband never get jealous or never accused me of anything.
That's the one best consolation i can say about good attitude that my cheat husband has- he never ever suspected me,and he even believes until now that i can't love anybody aside from him (that how confident he is and self conceited as well hmmm)
It's not good that your husband is accusing you of things that you never did or even think of.
That's emotional hurting- and emotional battering is also punishable by the law same weight with physical abuse.
Never allow your husband to keep doing that,if he can't trust you that much,how can he say he loves you.
I guess you really need to take things seriously at this time.
Talk with him and open your heart...and pray together.
I wish you all the best of everything my friend.
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
12 Jun 11
Yes i did feel bad yesterday, so bad was crying here in the office and my boss had to just come near me and pat me on the shoulders! lol i guess he does not know what to say 
well, i had a talk with my hubby and glad it went all well.. and he i guess opened his mind and was able to understand my part. I did asked him to join but he does not want to..he is not fond of discussions and saying what is on his mind.
well, i had a talk with my hubby and glad it went all well.. and he i guess opened his mind and was able to understand my part. I did asked him to join but he does not want to..he is not fond of discussions and saying what is on his mind.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
I think having guy friends is an advantage because you could pull their leg when ever you want something from them. . my mom had a lot of guy friends too, but my dad was never jealous of it since he also had a lot of friends. maybe you should check him out maybe he's the ONE doing suspicious things. i think by not going online you could go crazy! it's rare that i see women like you giving it all out to your hubby. maybe you should LET US MYLOTTERS TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND TO LESSEN HIS WORRIES
. my mom had a lot of guy friends too, but my dad was never jealous of it since he also had a lot of friends. maybe you should check him out maybe he's the ONE doing suspicious things. i think by not going online you could go crazy! it's rare that i see women like you giving it all out to your hubby. maybe you should LET US MYLOTTERS TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND TO LESSEN HIS WORRIES@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
12 Jun 11
hahaha i honestly cannot lessen my time here in mylot. I love mylot...but you guys talk to him? ummm..err...nevermind lol. 
@iklananda (1202)
•
11 Jun 11
That must be someone pushing your husband to suspecting you having an affair. I already experiencing this problem. You must give a full understand to your husband about that. So your husband is not suspecting you.
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
12 Jun 11
Yes we sat down and had a very long talk..and glad all things are better now
@GardenGerty (160242)
• United States
11 Jun 11
Is he suspicious of you because he is doing something he should not be doing? Sometimes that is the case. I hope not. Does he have friends who are telling him he should be suspicious of you, that happens as well. You are being as transparent as you can be, you give up your facebook and other sites, and let him see your phones. He should go with you when you travel, at least once.
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
I did told him that, to go with me during travel so he wont get suspicious! i even invited him the very recent one! oh well.. i really need to straighten things out with him
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
Sometimes, guys can be as annoying as girls. Haha! No offense intended, just trying to make you laugh. Anyway, I know from observation and experience that most females are jealous by nature but guys who get jealous are the dangerous ones. I think it would be better for you guys to talk it out in a calm mood. Let the anger pass and then start a conversation on this with very careful words. Sometimes guys just need "lambing" more than girls do, and maybe it would work in this case. I also should advise never to let out threats and hurtful words when angry because this is a very regretful act, one that cold really cause major damage. Anyway, Good luck friend. Hope you guys smoothen this up soon.
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
11 Jun 11
Hi, jazel_juan. I think that you should evaluate how your husband is acting. If he is this jealous then of course, he will always think that you are cheating. If you are not shutting him out, then that may be sign that you are being true to him. It is all in his head. I feel that you should not have to give up parts of your life just to please him. I mean you are not doing anything wrong. If anything he should give up of being jealous of you.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
11 Jun 11
i think that he is controlling you too much. i mean you gave him your cell, you asked him if he wants you to leave your job, you asked him if he wanted to travel with you, i mean these are enough proves that you are not cheating. you should talk with him and tell him that you are sick that he doesnt trust you. you also trust him so he must trust you! its not bcs he is the guy and you are the girl
that you have to do what he wants! you have the right to have your own freedom also. talk with him and tell him how you feel. he will have to change his attitude. tell him that he has no right to decide about everything in your life. you have the right to text who you want without him seeing it. if you are with him is bcs you love him and he will have to trust you. just tell him this. and please dont let him do what he wants all the time. you have the right to have your own freedom too. or else you wont be happy :(
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
12 Jun 11
Sounds like you got one insecure husband there. Is there a reason why he's so suspicious. Have you ever done something in the past to make him act like that? If the answers are all no, then I have this thought that suddenly popped into my mind. Thinkers are doers! Why don't you try and reverse the situation, but don't take it to the extreme. Don't be too mad when he's so jealous or suspicious but be sweeter to him. You make lambing! If you get mad, the more it would flare up. The more adamant are you in denying, the more he will get suspicious of you.
Remember that trust is the basic foundation of every relationship. Can't imagine how your marriage will end up if this would continue.
@kajal1992 (354)
• India
11 Jun 11
its probably fault of both of you, he don't believe you and you can't able to make him understand, why did you deleted your Facebook account, you may have keep it and show your hubby the every content of your Facebook account, i hope after seeing that he will believe you, and i think you both have angry nature, try to keep your mind chill, men are always use to be in hypertension.
@rupanheisei (4)
• Indonesia
11 Jun 11
it is hard..... i have to admit... first of all you have to know what made him jealous. and there is many reason for it(maybe he don't like your friend, some one close to both of you tell bad things about you, he is cheating, or did you ever cheat on him?) the hardest part is whatever the cause of his jealousy some guys tend to hide it from you.so i suggest you made a little investigation by yourself or maybe go to a marriage counselor.
@Jezabeth (82)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
His just being paranoid. Some men are like that,you two should communicate always.
Let him understand that what he is thinking about you is freaking wrong. Hope you guys could sort it out already. Goodluck! :)
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
The question is are you still befriending male friends? that your hubby ends up questioning the reasons why you needed to be on a social network sites and add male friends who are unknown to you?(meaning not a classmate, family friend, neighbor, office mate).
Men and women are just the same in terms of being jealous. I guess the only thing is the level of jealousy that your hubby have and he gets uncomfortable speaking it clearly to you that is why he is still asking you the reasons so that he can get more conformations out from your own lips.
But you also need to let him know how much you love him so that these doubts would not eat him up. Since you said you are traveling as part of your work and you assure him that it has nothing to do with meeting up men or befriending them, you still need to make him assure of your love by dressing properly, communicating well with your hubby and making things clear so that he won't be suspecting you at all that you are flirting or something.
@kennzsniper (170)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
Looking at your picture/avatar, I can where he is coming from.
Your young, attractive and prolly fun to be with. Unfortunately he has overdone it a little bit.
I don't like to be mean, but people who are very suspicious of somethings like these are the ones who are doing it.
As they say, thieves do not like their fellow thieves ( who can blame them anyways ).
just my two cents.
