I HATE YOU! ..there I said it!
By geonelynn
@geonelynn (369)
Philippines
June 11, 2011 1:48am CST
and it doesn't make me feel any better! :(
You never cared about how I felt. You have always thought about yourself! You are selfish ..and I thought I was! I gave everything I have because I love you but all you did was take me for granted and lied to me! You know very well that it would hurt me so much but still you went on and indulged yourself. You and your lies! You gave me false hopes. I thought you wanted a future with me but I was wrong. The future was never in your mind because if it had been you never would have done this to me! You kept on lying. And I thought you were sincere! I thought this relationship was all the world to you.. that is what you kept on saying to me. You kept on assuring me that we will grow old together.. now what?? Where are you now? You are in you corner nursing your wounds thinking you are the most pitiful creature in the world because you did something wrong! What about me? You left me broken! You left me shattered. All I really wanted was to be happy! And the worst part about this is that I cannot hate you... i hate myself why I cannot bring myself to hate you no matter how painful it is to me.
I just wanted to be happy.. after how many months of keeping to myself, I can only express what I feel in myLot because I love you and I don't want any of our friends to know how you've hurt me.. I hate myself! I hate this feeling! I don't want to love you anymore because I know we can never be together again. I know you will only hurt me if you are given the chance. I hate this feeling.. I don't want to love you anymore..but how can I teach my heart? How can I let my heart forget the one person that I wanted to be with the most?
I HATE MYSELF! Why can't I move on? I am trying hard.. But why do you always creep into my dreams! I HATE THIS! I want to move on and go on without you. I have to.
2 people like this
5 responses
@lilbabycatapillar (497)
• United States
11 Jun 11
Hey, I'm really sorry, hang in there!
There's all sorts of reasons why a relationship might go sour, especially if one person is completely loving and honest, and the other is dishonest.
You need closure. Even if it's an apology, or just your own coming to terms with the fact that people make mistakes and hurt others without meaning to.
But of course, you should cut off any hopes of continuing a relationships with this person, and I know that you know that. Someone who disrespects you so much doesn't make a good friend, mate, partner, anything.
I think this person loved you. They love you. They would not have went on so long. But some problem they have with themselves caused them to act this way. Can you think of anything? Were they insecure? Selfish?
It's not fair, and it will never be fair. But it's going to be okay.
1 person likes this
@geonelynn (369)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
thanks lilbabycatapillar (whew!) :)
i hope this will be okay soon. i am so looking forward to overcoming this situation right now. i am trying my best to cope.
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
Been there, and I hadn't had myLot then...
Loving the wrong person is unhealthy, but yes, who wants to do this, we didn't choose it...it just came, this feeling of great attachment to a person too much that they have all the power to hurt us...
Hang in there...remake yourself...know that you are worthy of love...and that this emotion will lessen as time goes by...
It's not easy, but as you said, you have to...focus on your happiness and self satisfaction, it may seem selfish but it's the best route to get over a heart break...
@geonelynn (369)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
hi marapplestiffy,
thanks. yes. i will definitely remake myself. i can do this. thanks for the encouragement, it means so much to me.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
hello geonelyn.
Fine...great girl,you made it.
That's how mylot help us.
We can vent out and shout here and no one to shout us back.
Oh...i mean,we receive comments here,some to pacify and some to annoy us (ignore the negative one)
I've been there,i know how you feel,and here I am now,still looking back to those bad memories of the past-now this time with smiles.
You can and you will be able to get through to this,and don't keep in in your heart.
Cry your heart out loud,even if no one is there to listen to you.
No one can help you,but yourself alone.
Be strong and when you find the full courage and determination to let him go without hatred,that's the time you can tell yourself you are totally free and you can face and smile at him without pain in your heart.
I wish you all the luck and prayers the best resort my friend.
have a great weekend 
have a great weekend @geonelynn (369)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
Hi Jaiho,
thanks for the encouragement. i will try to be strong and not feel sorry for myself. mylot does help because i cannot vent in facebook where all of our friends can see. i just want to keep this to myself for the time being and hopefully i can share this to them one at a time.
thanks to mylot i can express myself because most of my friends here don't know me personally.. :)
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
11 Jun 11
Ouch. Wow. I can so relate to this, totally, and it has taken me literally years to get over one man who has affected me so much, no other man, even my husband could compare to the feelings I had for this one person.
But he was many things that you've posted in your post.
Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, many people share the same emotions that you are feeling now. I truly feel for you. Hang in there, love. Although you may never forget the person, the pain will ease over time.
@geonelynn (369)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
thank you Masihi. I appreciate what you said here. I just hope it will be over soon. :)
@kimLJT (30)
• Philippines
12 Jun 11
I guess YOU ARE JUST EXPECTING TOO MUCH in return which is really bad in relationship. In behalf of what he did try to think those times that you were both happy so that it could at least lessen a little bit of your anger/pain to him ^_~ as for sure you both have it ^_^, just go on with your life do what you want, its really hard at first but try to go out, go with friends coz at the end of the day YOU ARE JUST THE ONE HURTS YOURSELF coz it's YOU YOU YOU the one who controlled YOU. BE HAPPY ^_^ HAPPY HAPPY.
