My husband's sweet tooth is grating on my nerves!
@Masihi (4413)
Canada
June 11, 2011 2:16am CST
Well, most of you who know me knows that my husband doesn't like fat women nor does he like fat people, period. Okay, fine, so when a person doesn't like fat people, they want them to lose weight, right? But my husband who is fat himself loves his sweets too much, and he doesn't like me being fat nor does he like my daughter being fat. Any normal parent would switch to healthier eating if they have concerns of being overweight and developing health conditions associated with obesity.
But not Hubby.
Although we're eating more fruits and raw vegetables, he insists that there's a big supply of sweets an junk food in the house. Yet at the same time he harps at me and my daugther to lose weight, and well, I also have a sweet tooth, but can go without it if I don;t buy it or bake it type thing. And my daughter, who's 7 years old, screeches and hollars if she doesn't get sweets especially if she knows there's junk food in the house.
So here's the issue. I stop baking, my husband gets extremely angry, I mean he yells and threatens me if I don't bake stuff. Then he goes out and buys junk food then puts a guilt trip on me for "making him spend out money to buy sweets". He also bakes himself, and today I told him that he's in charge of the baking from now on, and he gleefully said how he's going to be baking all kinds of sweets.
Ugh, this is bothering me, I try to tell him to buy junk outside the house, keep it in the van or his backpack, or I bake him cookies to keep in his secret storage, but he's the type of person who never compromises. I'm frustrated that we can't come to a compromise. I'm feeling like my opinion don't matter at all. He knows that my daughter and I need support, but with him being rebellious I'm worried for our health, as we have diabetes in our family history, especially mine. He knows all that too.
Just had to vent. The last tray of cookies is in the oven now. I'll have the cookie container stocked well with cookies. And I'll be looking for my dignity....again...
1 person likes this
6 responses
@lilbabycatapillar (497)
• United States
11 Jun 11
It's hard to be with someone who does not show respect for your decisions and opinions and feelings. You need to make it clear that you mean business, even if this means telling him flat out that he is not going to make or buy anymore sweets, and that you will donate them to a local food pantry or throw them away if he disobeys you.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
11 Jun 11
There's got to be a better way of approaching the situation than to threaten, I don't want to bring myself down to his level. He's learning disabled and just won't understand.
It's his grandmother's fault, the way she raised him, she was feeding him chocolate bars every freaking day, and even overrode me when giving him candy and such after I was married to him when she was still alive. To make a long story short, it was an unhealthy relationship between the two of them, she was too damned controlling.
It's like I'm fighting against the tide or something. Grrrr, I'll figure something out, I dunno what, though.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160996)
• United States
12 Jun 11
I understand this in a lot of ways. If I do not have cookies in the house I seldom get hungry for them, but if they are there I want to eat them all up immediately. Husbands do not help wives lose weight, no matter if they say they want them to or not. I am as heavy as I am because of my husband, basically.
You cannot put a child on a diet, because they do not understand. You can try to control and cut back slightly on their calories, and encourage them to be more active. If you are going to have sweets in the house, it is important that they be healthy sweets. It is also the fat in some of these foods that will get to you. In Health magazine I got a recipe for a chocolate no bake cookie that they give very specific portions, mix this much, divide it into this many portions, and you may have two for your snack and it will not blow your meal management plan. Ingredients are dark chocolate, dried oats, peanut butter and low fat milk. I have put nuts and dried cherries in it as well and do not feel it blows a plan. I also like for kids to make the peanut butter balls. It has graham crumbs, honey, dried milk powder and peanut butter. You make them up and keep them in the fridge. Neither of those two treats will really mess with your blood sugars either. Hubby sounds like he is going to get so mad he has a stroke and then where will he be, with his unhealthy habits and uncompromising attitude.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160996)
• United States
12 Jun 11
You mention hubby is addicted to sugar and you are correct. Sugar is addictive, and the way to stop craving it is to stop indulging, but he does not see a need to change. I am just as bad about bread and butter or bread and gravy. That is why I said what I did in the gravy discussion. When mom would try to get dad to slow down on the bread and butter he got mad at her (this was towards the end of the marriage) and said "I am going to eat what I want to." Well he became diabetic in his old age, which is common, and day before yesterday he was put on insulin. I will be sending you the recipes. Really, I find that when I know I can have some sweets I do not feel so deprived. I will not use artificial sweeteners. There are studies that link their overuse to metabolic disorders and diabetes. I will use stevia, molasses, honey, maple syrup and real sugar. Just in less quantities.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
12 Jun 11
I know a lot of flour products can be addictive as well, and other times, you just dont' want to give it up because "it's sooooooooooooo gooooooooddddddd!!!!" LOL
Hubby always had a lucky streak about him, he gets into a bit of hot water then the gets out unburnt. Gets away with just about everything. His grandmother was the exact same way, got away with just about everything, until one day she had a stroke in her 80's, but that didn't stop her from eating all kinds of junk food. In fact, we used to sneak the stuff to her in the hospital after the nurses put her on a healthy heart diet.
I guess some people are just plain stubborn and just don't wanna listen :-p
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
12 Jun 11
Hmmphf, men will be men, I suppose. One would think if a man doesn't like his condition he'd do what it takes to change his condition. Or think for the welfare of his children, for sure. I just don't understand it. I personally would like to view food as fuel for our bodies and good maintenance, not luxurious escapades to the pantry.
If possible can you message me the 2 recipes, please? That'll be lovely, hopefully it'll help with the sweets issue. My husband loves dark chocolate.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223846)
• Chile
12 Jun 11
Dear friend,
It seems that you are living in the top of a volcano about to erupt. Your husband mocks at you, your husband yells and humiliates you, your husband threatens you. The problem is not with your husband (he is the way he is) but with you. Are you going to stay there or think about what you can do to climb down. It´s dangerous there and you know it.
Some cookies are not the issue. The real problem is that it seems there are too many issues.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
12 Jun 11
It's okay to vent Masihi as many of us are always willing to listen. Outside of recommending perhaps low calorie sweet and less fat type deserts maybe that might help.
I remember you saying you are all striving to be bicycling together, therefore, that too will help.
Though I am sure that maybe your husband will not be pleased with the lower calorie types, maybe seek out some really great alternatives that though lower in calories and fat might actually be very good, to where he does not even notice the difference.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
12 Jun 11
Well, all I can say is that I'm gonna try my best, so I will give the lower-calorie sweets a try, also he'll expect me to make more cookies, I know that for sure, and I don't know how to get around that one. Just look for low-cal cookies I guess lol
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160996)
• United States
12 Jun 11
Oatmeal cookies with dark chocolate chips. Whole grain flour at least for part of it.
Impossible peanut butter cookies: 1C peanut butter, 1 egg, 1 C sugar--use dark brown or add a Tbsp molasses to the sugar. Make small balls, flatten with a fork bake at 350 for about 8 minutes. Make thumbprint cookies with this dough and dark chocolate Hershey kiss.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
12 Jun 11
GG what a great recipe and actually Masihi just make slow and small changes at a time, in terms of trying new things.
I would not try and change all desserts at once, start slowly as changing eating habits only work when we do so slowly. This way we do not revert to old ways.
@mrgpk63 (444)
• United States
11 Jun 11
Well You got a Problem that can be Worked Out. Before the Hubby gets to Irritable. He can See a Doctor if he has a Psychological Problem. That can cause Binge Eating of Sweets. You can Use Skim or Low Fat Milk. Use a Sugar Substitute also in Baking. Look for Healthier Recipes On Line or in a Cook Book. Bake with more Sweet Fruits to. He can have that Sweet Taste without the Fat & Calories. Use Less Sugar When Baking.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
11 Jun 11
That's what I been doing all along, for ten years, but made little progress. I truly think he's addicted to sugar, though.
@youaremylush (479)
• United States
12 Jun 11
I don't know if I would be able to stay with someone who couldn't make compromises with me, even more so if it's to do with the health of a child or myself. I know how hard it is to eat healthy, but you seem to want it bad enough that you can commit to it. I would tell you to have a talk with him, but you clearly have. If he didn't listen the first time, he's likely not going to listen the six or twentieth time. Maybe you should try something like an intervention and if that doesn't work then you just need to do what you can for your daughter and yourself. Kids are easily tricked into things, so you should tell her all the benefits of eating healthy. Sad to say but it might take something like him being diagnosed with diabetes to get him to compromise or even see that he needs to do something about his eating habits.
I'd also like to say that not everyone is meant to be stick thin. There are different body types. Shame on him for hating on fat people. There isn't anything wrong with being over weight as long as it isn't obesity.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
12 Jun 11
His teeth are rotten - I mean yellow and chipped, you can notice it a mile away. All of them, too. One would think he'd change after that! :-(
