To Vent Or Not To vent

hi! when we were still kids, we were taught not to speak back to elders (no matter how unfair they were at the time) so we held it all in and mostly i just cry it off afterwards. in highschool, there was one time that i really lost it to one of my chemistry lab group mate, and i regret having said those 2 words because it didn't sound like me at all. even if there's a good reason for shutting him off. i'm normally mild-mannered and quiet at home and at work. but a few years ago, in the peak of a busy night doing our quarterly reports for the board of directors' meeting the next day (one of the many sleepless nights trying to finish the work of my boss who was on travel), my boss called me up and accused me of getting his (favorite) employee in his department to do overtime work. which is not so. since he didn't listen, i was totally upset. everyone around me working that night was so concerned especially when my nose started bleeding. (i didn't know until later that the boss was having extra-marital affair with that same employee in question.) now, basically over the years... i've tried not saying anything, tried saying something, tried doing nothing... and each time the consequences were different. i don't like getting mad or being angry. i've learned to cool down a bit before i react. and now, people who know me knows i won't say a thing unless i have to. but when i do, i'm not one to back down. honestly, i've only been really really mad twice in my life... the 2 incidents i mentioned above. these days, i've managed to stay very calm when such maddening incidents occur.

You have to vent one way or another... it is either now or when you get so pissed and let it all out and venting will only help the other person understand you and how you feel, you are not able to have cold feet about feelings!

hello dennis, if you find it in your heart that the incident has made you so mad that even if after waiting for yourself to cool down it is still in your mind, i guess you have to vent it somehow and talk to the person about it. i guess it was wise of you not to talk when you were so angry because sometimes, when angry, we say things which we regret later on. ann

I used to confront people but I learned to get away from people I get angry at...I mostly regret the things I say in anger and I think I've matured a bit in this area...now, I try (TRY) to do as you do on most occasions...and try that is, but when someone crosses the line already like hurting me physically, I don't think I can keep my peace that much then...

As for me, I try to let my emotions subside at first. Then after clearing my mind of the emotion, I try to build on the most appropriate and logical thing to do with the situation I just had. It helps you clear your mind and think rationally. Most of the time, venting it out on impulse leads to conflicting and unecessary fights. This will just aggravate the situation that eventually may lead to an uncontrollable situation. We humans are thinking beings. We should vent out our emotions to prevent explosion and at the same time be rational and think clear of the situation. An advantage of following this principle is that you get a chance to think clearly and weigh your point of view of the situation versus the point of view of the other person. Thus you can both act appropriately which leads to a win-win situation. Try to do this and you'll suddenly find dealing with different people easy. Vent out at the same time think rationally. :)

Depends on how you do it. If you just talk to that person, that's all right. But I am someone who cares about law. You should not even touch him. Just shout in his face, eventually.

i'd stay wordless if i were in that case.'cause one more word can only make the situation worse given that both sides are absorded in the angry of herself or himself.we can't manage to hear others and all we are concerned about is that you should apologize to me at first.so,several days is necessary for us to calm down and then come to understand each other.