What can you say?
By Toni
@toniganzon (72281)
Philippines
June 12, 2011 6:01pm CST
Hello my fellow mylotters. I need your thoughts on this one.
E and T meet each other on facebook and then they fell in love as what they've both told me. They're both from Romania but E is now in Florida on au pair. They have been in an online relationship for 8 months, but they do plan to meet as T is planning to go their by next month if he's lucky with his Visa.
Now T asked for my opinion yesterday. His dilemma is this: he allowed E to go out on a date with another man from Florida who's Turkish because he knew E felt so lonely and alone in Florida with no friends. He thought it's just gonna be a simple dinner or coffee, but on the first date, the Turkish guy invited E to his house and they started making out. E told T about this and she said she stopped as T was on his mind at that time. Yesterday she went out with the same man again and T is so worried that this time she might sleep with him as E told him that the Turkishman's house is near a lake and it was so romantic it's a perfect place to make love.
T is not as rich as the Turkishman and he's far away from E. E told him that they don't have any obligations to be exclusive as they have not met each other in person yet.
Now i need your thoughts on this one. I have given T my advise and opinion already but i need to hear from you folks.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@scentcastle (241)
• Philippines
17 Jun 11
T has definitely gotten himself in a sticky situation. I do believe that internet/online romance is possible. It's quite a challenge. There will always be fights and misunderstandings. It's inevitable. If couples who even stay or live together get into conflicts almost everyday and face lots of test in their relationships, how much more with long distance relationships where couples haven't really even met in person. If I were T, I would be honest with my feelings. If he feels jealous and very uncomfortable with their setup of having no exclusivity in their relationship, especially on the part of E, then what's the point of keeping quiet and prolonging the suffering? T should tell E that he allowed E to see some people and just to plainly point out that he expected E to have a friendly relationship with any guy and not to encourage her to make out with any guy E is with. One other thing I'd like to point out is, if E is seeing the same guy who tried to make out with her, then she might have felt something. If she is serious with T, then she would have declined another meet up with the same guy. If they were committed, then why would E say that she doesn't have any obligation to T since they haven't met in person? In every loving relationship that two persons enter into, they have to stay committed. If one isn't committed, then why waste a lot of time pursuing a pointless relationship?
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
What you said is the same advice I have given to T. In fact I think that E already slept with that other guy because now she has decided not to tell T of what she did when she went out with him. She said her privacy should be respected which I am totally oppose to because T is her boyfriend.
Recently T told me that he trusts her and he just needs to be there and make their relationship official. Hopefully he will go there by July.
@scentcastle (241)
• Philippines
23 Jun 11
He needs to go there by July so he can have some closure or just to clear things up. It's really difficult and confusing to be in a situation where you don't know what to expect especially from another person. I wish your friend all the luck he needs.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
13 Jun 11
T can find some other partner near his place who he can meet in person and then decide. After meeting if T doesn't like E what will happen. Let E go with Turkish boy if she likes. I do not know what was the advice given by you.
this is one of the problems of internet. People start developing love even before meeting in person, before feeling the touch, before feeling the way he walks etc. have a nice day.
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
13 Jun 11
T doesn't have any plans to date other girls. E wanted to go out and have fun coz she doesn't have friends in Florida. But T is in his homeland with his friends so he can still have fun while E on the other hand is just homesick. That's why T allowed E to go out with that turkish but as i've said, he thought it was just going out to have coffee and not making out.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
13 Jun 11
Time - say six months will change people. let us see. have a good day.
@marcmm (1804)
• Malaysia
18 Jun 11
Okay, that is something we only see in a movie. Most of the times in the movie, T will go there to Florida to get his girl. And since then the drama continues and eventually T found out that E are not the girl he want to be because he met another girl while he is in search of E. And after that T will go back to Romania with his new girl and live happily while E feel miserable because she just broke up with his turkish guy and she also lost T. At least that what the movie will be.
In real life, I don't know what T is thinking right now. For me if E have a courage to go to this turkish guy house after just a few meeting, then it is a big no no. E can choose a lot of girl in Florida there. I don't think woman are endangered species there or have extinct. She can always go out with girls friends but why this Turkish guy. There something fishy about this. 
My advice to T. Forget her. You are not married yet. Go get another girl. I don't think Romania only have E as a woman there. I know there are a lot of beautiful Romanian girl. Don't bother with E again and let her feel happy making out with her Turkish guy at the house near the lake.
My advice to T. Forget her. You are not married yet. Go get another girl. I don't think Romania only have E as a woman there. I know there are a lot of beautiful Romanian girl. Don't bother with E again and let her feel happy making out with her Turkish guy at the house near the lake.
@stary1 (6612)
• United States
13 Jun 11
So many 'meet' on the internet now. I think both E and T need to go out with whomever they want. They have not met in person, so no one is in any way obligated. If T is worried, he will just have to be patient and try to meet her as soon as he has his visa. Does T know any other girls he could go out with? I would be curious to know what you told T.
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
13 Jun 11
I am very close to both of them actually and both claim to love each other much and in fact they've already invited me to their wedding which means that they have committed to each other. But now suddenly they're free to go out with other people. The funny thing is T is not allowed to date other girls but E is allowed to do that since she's far from her homeland and feels lonely.
I just told T to be honest with E and tell her he's overly jealous of what's happening. If you claim to love a person even if you haven't met yet but you plan to meet each other soon then one shouldn't date another person. How can you claim to love that person but kiss another man and even making out with the other just because he's near? I just couldn't understand that.
