How to show my boyfriend respect for the things he does?
By inneedofcash
@inneedofcash (67)
India
June 15, 2011 1:57am CST
He spends the big majority of money on us. The phone bills and food and stuff like that.
He doesn't have a job, he is only spending the money his mother gives him from her pension.
And he fights with me telling me that I take all that for granted, whereas I am very thankful for it.
I used to be a lot more expressive about it before, but ever since the fights started I'm not being able do anything from my heart.
I used to make things for him, like love poems that I wrote, or small craft things etc.
Now the relationship is getting sort of sore because of it, but I'm still in mad love with him even after almost two years of fights. (We've been going out for three years.)
How do I show him more respect for the things he does for me, especially the money?
(I don't have a job either, we just finished college.)
When he fights he talks about how much money I owe him and that I have to give it all back to him soon. (It's about $2000 according to him.)
2 people like this
5 responses
@KingLobster (219)
• United States
15 Jun 11
Just remember that the little things go the farthest. Guys like to hear little compliments here and there about how much of a difference we have made in your day. When we hear things like this, we are much happier, and we are much more pleasant to be around. It is the times when you do not tell us something nice about what we are doing for you that we can easily become upset. You don't have to lay it on thick or anything, but a nice comment here or there is all we need.
As for the money thing, it is very unfair for him to say that you "owe" him money. I have never heard of a guy doing this before, but I do not think that it is fair of him to do that at all.
@inneedofcash (67)
• India
16 Jun 11
Thanks so much :)
Yeah I know it's not fair at all about the money.
It just breaks my heart, but there's also the problem of his financial issues.
I tell him all the time not to spend money like he does, 'cause I care about him, but he does, and he still blames me.
He says if he had saved the money he spent for me in 3 years, he could have done something much better.
He's a bit dominant and the slightest bit abusive too.
I like being social but he gets all distrustful even if I get outta my room without ASKING HIS PERMISSION. And then, again, it's my job to keep proving my loyalty to him. GRRRRRRRRR.
I love him very much though.
But, thanks for taking time to reply!
God Bless.
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
15 Jun 11
Am I correct in saying that you both have financial difficulties at the moment? Because if I am, then your fights are born out of your stress in making ends meet. Try to be patient with him and just hold on to the relationship. At the same time, be persistent in searching for a job or a business. That way, when you somehow reach the level of financial independence, you can both focus on your relationship and try to patch things up.
Good luck and have a nice day
!
! @inneedofcash (67)
• India
16 Jun 11
Thank you so much!
You are making a lot of sense.
I will try telling him that :)
Good Luck!
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
15 Jun 11
Showing someone respect and appreciation for the things they do can be shown in so many different ways. sometimes just the smallest and simplest gesture is the one that will mean the most. 
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
15 Jun 11
Well just tell him that many of their duties.Do something about it.
A small gesture of attention will make him feel better.A little more attention and show that it respect him.
a man knows when it is respected.
Have a nice day!
