Mother-in-law Problem

Philippines
June 16, 2011 9:15pm CST
Darn it! I'm so irritated! My husband and I already told our parents-in-law that we will give them only a specific amount every single month. They agreed. Then they asked my husband that instead of cash this month of June, just buy them a solar panel instead and install it at the province. A habit of theirs is whenever they ask any of us to visit them at the province, they always ask for anything like grocery or gadget or whatever as long as the expenses are ours. Just this morning, they asked for groceries from my husband since my husband is going there next week. My husband was also disappointed at this because it is already beyond the agreed budget for his parents. He has always been praising my side of the family because my sister never asked us for anything - there were even times when she would not accept any cash from us unless I trick her by placing the money inside her bag or wallet or give it to my nephew and niece. So my husband and I decided to move his trip to July instead so that the budget for his family will be doubled (both June and July). At least, in case they ask for anything additional, there is enough budget. So frustrating...
3 responses
sjbamper
@sjbamper (3)
• Philippines
23 Jun 11
Everyone one has at least one relative that drives them absolutely crazy! The problem is how to deal with these nutcases without losing your own sanity. This is not easy as I speak from experience. Not monetary issue though and it's with my sister in law. The key is to respectfully tell them of your needs. It is good to respect your in-laws and be sensitive of their needs. But if you feel like they're way overboard, be assertive enough to let them know how you feel in a nice way. It's much better to let them know your honest feelings instead of saying what they want to hear in an effort to please them.You and your husband should discuss when to respectfully draw the line. Good luck and God bless!
amandamd
@amandamd (7)
• United States
17 Jun 11
i don't understand. Why do you have to give your parents-in-law an allowance every month. Are they dependant on you? Do you guys have a ton of money, or hold a trust fund for them? Are they incompetent? I guess this would make more sense to me if it were the other way around and you were the parents and they were the children.
shengcruz
@shengcruz (221)
• Philippines
17 Jun 11
Hello LilacFaye! Oh, too bad you're facing such problem. I think it's good to confront your in-law, or I think it's best if your husband would be the one to do it, after all, they are his own parents. I think some parents think that after they have raised their children and sent them to school, they deserve a payback. Hence, a dialogue, a heart to heart discussion between the parents and children is very important. Otherwise, grudges, complaints and whining will become the common scenario... Who would want such predicament? I guess better start it early before it gets worse...time is of essence and so is relationship... I do believe that relationship is far more important than any other material things in the world. So I make sure that my relationship with my in-law is always on top of my priority. I always remind myself that without them, I would never meet a wonderful man like my husband. It's like I always owe them the good life that my hubby's been giving us...and so they deserve all the respect,care and love in the world. I treat them in the same way I am treating my parents... I hope you can iron out your problem and find yourself in a peaceful and happy relationship with your in-law. Nothing's impossible with Him...just ask and work it out...Good luck!