What to if you cant stand your siblings other half?

Hi Izink! I think you should make the first move. Forget about your sister-in-law if you miss your brother so much then go and meet him or give a call or sms or perhaps some message in his Facebook wall if he have one~ Don't hate your brother just because of her~ If she still don't get along with you then just leave her but not with your brother. He is still your brother now and forever~

Sometimes we just cantforce ourselves to like or love the person our love ones love... I can understand u, my mom had the same problem before, I dont know though how she solved it.. But if I were in that situation I will still keep in touch with your big bro.. call him sometimes..and tell him that you just cant get along with his wife but it doesnt mean it change who is he to your life, and who you are to his life... Keep it that way and maybe someday everything will be fine....

For sure your roads will cross again, we have a small word, just stay away from trouble. You have your own life to live now, but to keep in touch with your brother once in a while is good.

There's a number of ways to approach this. You didn't give much to go on, but it sounds like she is Jealous of you. It could be that she is insecure about herself, and you are very cute, and therefore she is jealous. Or it could simply be that she wants her husband all to herself, and sees you as a threat to her domination of him. Jealousy is one of the seven deadly sins for a reason. You can't fix it externally, it can only be killed off in the heart of the person. What that means to you is, if the problem is jealousy, then there is nothing you can do externally with her, to fix it. She will have to choose to end her jealousy, herself. No one can fix that for her. With that in mind, have you had a one on one talk with her? I'm a firm believer in giving the person the opportunity to vent their frustrations, or verbally confirm their own position. This means like asking her to meet you for coffee, and just talking. And at some point (really hard) directly asking her whats up? Doing that as if you were friends, even though you are not, is very hard, but sometimes that can be the 'ice breaker' that allows you to move forward. The second thing you can do is try "killing her with kindness", and that is even more difficult than having a face-to-face, because it requires you to take every issue and problem she gives you, and turning it back on her in kindness and love. It's more difficult because a face-to-face is once, and then over, whereas this takes time.... lots of time. However, if you try and re-connect with your brother, remember to have firm boundaries. Meaning, that your first and highest priority is to your own husband, your kids if you have any, your job and your close friends. The moment you start to sense that this relationship with your brother and his wife, are starting to effect your world negatively, then you must do as you have done. You must protect your world. Think of it as defending the people you love, from a toxic environment. And you must remember that you are being forced to respond this way. You would not do this, if someone had not pushed you to. In other words, you are not guilty in some way. And also, don't hold a grudge against your brother either. His highest priority should be to his wife. Perhaps he should have chosen better, but that is past, and he has to deal with reality where it is.

I can relate with you as I also have this brother's wife whom all of us siblings can't stand. No,she's not from hell but she just don't want to be with the family. I mean, she makes excuses to be not part of family's affairs and would only send her son. We treat her nicely but she's aloof and won't give herself with us. We are not cutting anything from her and still give her the respect due her as part of the family and just leave her alone with that. We can't waste time trying to make good with her but we see to it that we don;'t cut ties with the brother. After all, he and the son are the real part of the family!

Hey lzink14 cut yourself some slack! :) You have tried to make things work, and obviously your brother would be trying as well if he really wanted to keep in contact with you. He needs to step up and be the man of his house, and tell his wife that she cannot and will not come between him and his family!! That is how I see it and believe it! God Bless You!:)

I think you do not have much of a choice because it is your siblings other half. You should probably just hint to your brother that not missdoing things with him and if if has some time maybe if could give you the opportunity to do the things you did before if got too busy.

Is there a way to contact him without the b!tch knowing? If so, try that. There should be a way to have contact with him Without her! i mean even if it is a phone call every once in a while. I wouldn't even try with her. for some reason she hates you , that's ok, but that shouldn't stop you from having a relationship with your brother!Good Luck.

We have same problem with one of my in-law before.(sister in law) She's not easy to go along with,the good thing is she's not that b*tch eh. My brother is a very good one and me and my other siblings really feel pity for him,but what can we do,our brother loves his wife and so with the kids. yes,it's the kids that give us connection with them always. There were times that even the kids are not allowed to come with us when we plan for an outing and treat all the kids in the family. We endure all those things and like what my brother says " understand his wife or else he will go crazy,because he is also sometimes losing his patience due to his wife's bad attitude". Thanks GOD...our patience and endurance pays it all..our sister in law came to us one day and asks forgiveness for all the wrongdoings she did...for many years. Guess,there is always right time my friend...just wait for it. Why not send a message to your brother..a simple "hello" i am sure your brother does miss you too

Hi lzink14, i can really understand you position because i'm something in this situation as well, just that it is another way for me. I can't really stand my boyfriend's sister. She is just so sickening and irritating. Hope she can get out of my life. In my case, i have to understand that they are siblings and that their relationship will never change. My disliking his sister will only make him unhappy. For you, i believe you should try to come to terms wtih your sister-in-law. Whether or not you like her, you have to respect your brother's decision that he loves her and wants to be with her for the rest of his life. They are already married and that shows your brother is committed to her. I believe your brother loves you very much too. Why would you want to stop communication with your brother just because you don't like his women? If you don't like her, don't bother about her. I believe your brother feels very bad that both of you cannot get along. Why get him into such a distress?

It's sad when a family member cuts their family out because of a spouse, or a girlfriend/boyfriend. Relationships come and go but family is forever. I realize everyone has to live their own lives but you never know when one may need their family. Maybe try reaching out again to your brother. If there is a way you can sit and have a civil conversation with his wife. I know it might be hard and maybe you need to be a bigger person than she is.

my family did not comunicate with my brother for 12 years because he was married to a demonspawn from the bowels of the underworld. i reckon she wore a skin suit over her flea infested mucus body....well i did'nt like her to much. all this came as a surprise to my brother when he found out why we did not contact him. we told him after she p1ssed off with his best friend. good riddence to bad trash. if i could replay these days i would try to meet up with him when she is not about. maybe lunch times? i suspect he will be trying to please his wife and probably wants to meet up. good luck!

Hi lzink destry anything is very easy rather than make any thing. I think you should take chance to maintain relationship.Try again, best of luck

This is a tough one. I have a friend who has had this problem as well. She ended up telling him that she would see him and his kids, but she wasn't going to be around his wife. What ended up happening is that the wife got really angry about it and stopped allowing her husband to see his family. She wouldn't even let them see the children on their birthdays and if anyone sent anything to them, she threw it in the trash. They're still together and it causes her a lot of stress.