What do you do when your elderly relatives cant cope with life?

Ofcourse she wanted to be able to take care of herself. One thing you could do is have Home Care come out a couple times a week to see her. ALot of areas have Meals on Wheels. My mother was like this. She was realistic and did move into a Nursing Home and I took a different job that only part time and was able to spend the afternoon and evenings with her.( I was only child so it all fell on me.) It sounds by what you have written here that she is not in a position to take quality care of herself. If she is left in this situation she is going to sustain and injury and then you all will feel bad and wish you had done something earlier. Do it now so you can have some postive last memories of this woman before it is too late. No body said it would be easy, just very worthwhile.

Maybe you should talk to her and convince her that it's best for her to stop making the family worry and accept living with someone who is able to take care of her. Maybe you should hire a nurse for her, although judging by what you said she probably won't like that. It's horrible when people age and they are no longer able to do the stuff they used to. Maybe she just doesn't want to put a burden on anyone's shoulders well at least that's probably how she see's it, but I know her family wouldn't see it as a burden. Well Good Luck to you and your grandma.

I can relate to this message. I do have grandfather who still believes that he can do everything himself, but just like what you have said, obviously he can't. In your situation, you mentioned that she can't move that normal ways before. For sure she is a good woman for you to love her dearly. In that case, why don't you gather your family once a week to go her house and tell her how you missed her and want to have lunch with her. By the time you're in her house you would be able to have a chance to do the chores unnoticed. Do it for several times, until she got used of fun brought about being together and soon, she would be the one to request/invite you to be with her. In due time, she would realize that she needs you all in her remaining days. I just hope this will work.

This reminds me of my grandmother (my father's mom) She doesn't want to live or stay with her kids and prefers to live alone in her house. She was really old then and also a stubborn. So,my cousins who lives near takes turn to checked her in the morning before going to work and the small kids to accompany her when it's weekend and no school days. I guess some people we loved doesn't want to be a burden and tried to live on their own. It's even harder to argue with them.

Hi there, This is really tough my friend as my grandmother, though not maternal, she was my grandmother, who passed away 4 months ago. She was 95 and lived alone. She would not live with any of her children matter what they encouraged and or the physician advised. She could barely walk but was very much alert and therefore, no court of law could force her to not live alone. I would probably suggest that all caring family members hold a nice meeting with her and suggest to her that maybe it is time for her to rest more by being taken care of. I am sure she will continue to object, but maybe she will realize you are all asking out of love. Is she on Social Security? If so maybe a home nurse even part-time could be allowed to come there and stay with her. She may not be happy with it but maybe that would encourage her to get a little help. I know you mean well as her safety is your primary concern. Bless her and all your caring family towards her.

I can somehow relate to your situation. My grandparents also wanted to live by themselves, stubborn even with their different illnesses. At first we let them be, when you grow older you wanted to be someone who is not a burden but others wanted to be a burden intentionally especially if its the only way they can get loved one's attention. Then as long as you keep contact, like updating in there status every now and then, and constant communication is a must. I even had a hard time convincing them to use a cane since it seemed embarrassing to them but I explained that its for safety, unless they want to be confined in the hospital,which they don't want hehe. Then we came to the point, after all the logical explanations of concerns and such, they decided to move in a house just a few meters from us. In your case, with family, a nursing home or a private caregiver is a part of your choices. You know your grandma well, then you should know how to convince her with loving words or rational words, whatever applies. Casual talks seems ineffective and usually goes in a direction of arguments and fights. Oftentimes a private heart to heart talk is all they need. Like "Grandma, we both know about your present condition, about you sickness and your age, It's not that we think of you as a burden and neither are we taking away your independence,we are so proud to have such a strong grandma like you, But please let us assist you whenever we can, you under our care, as long as time allows..." etc,a hug is also good;Then let her take her time to decide since it will not be easy for elders to give in and lose authority. We love our grandparents and it is never a good thing to leave them by themselves, deep inside they don't want to be alone or abandoned. And as we grow old too, we would want to use our least independence and at the same time be cared for. Hope it all goes well with your grandma. Tc.

Personally I think this is the hardest thing sometimes is getting someone to want to move from their home when they are getting too old to be able to care for themselves. The hardest part is even though they may not see the need they are being stubborn and just not realizing that someone else being able to help them would be the Best. I would plan a family meeting to decide what is best and check for someone coming in and helping out even a couple of days, etc. It sounds like something that is definately not going to be easy.