Adopt or have your own children?

Sorry I had to chuckle when you said you "have a horrible fear of children". Oh dear :) anwyay, I would love to adopt. I really want to be a mommy and even though at one point I did have a strong urge to carry a baby, I have since decided that the "cooking" of the baby is just 9 months, and babies themselves are a lifelong commitment. I know people who believe that just because they give birth to a child suddenly think they're gods gift to the human race when in actual fact they just palm the kid off to the nearest relative and go out partying because they're so stressed with being a parent. In my eyes, children need to be loved and raised in a fair and disciplined environment with all their needs met. I think there are enough children in the world that need love and nurturing from parents but who dont have them for whatever reason. I'd be honored to be able to give a child like that a safe and loving home. I'd tell it every day how much I loved it, and would always let them know that just because they're adopted doesnt mean they're any less loved, if anything they are doubly loved because they have 2 sets of parents and 4 sets of grandparents, whether present of not. i plan on being quite an older parent. Hoping to maybe start the adoption process in my early 30s, and with a bit of luck will end up with a baby before I'm 40. I'm 26 now, have my own house, a very secure well paid job, and am now just waiting to save up enough to get married to my man. We'd like to have the adventure of relocating abroad in the next couple of years and live somewhere slightly more exotic by the time we come to adopting. I know many people who managed to have a family when they were younger, but they are less acomplished than I am, and I just hope I could provide the very best for my kids when they do come along. By the way though, if you did decide to adopt, just dont tell the adoption people about your fear of kids, it might not go down so well

Can't I have both? well it is good to adopt an orphan because you are helping. But if i am to choose between having a child and adopting, I'll opt for having my own child.

In my home country abortion is available and so some ladies do that when they have an unwanted pregnancy. Very few babies in my home country are available for adoption. There are children that need to be adopted but to get accepted as an adopter it is very challenging. In the school I taught at when I was a newly qualified teacher I taught two children that had been adopted. The girl was already adopted the boy was fostered then went to his adoptive parents. He tested them out greatly and was very difficult for them to handle. His older brother had no hair due to much worry, he was very disturbed and his younger sister was delightful. That boy got into much trouble at lunch time. The adoptive parent had trouble with the two boys but had a happy time with the girl. I had a son aged 16 years, a 4 year old disabled son and a almost to be 2 year old daughter. I wouldn't be able to adopt due it is being too challenging to get accepted. Though that do get accepted often adopt a child from overseas like a girl in China. That is an excellent idea and it is wonderful for the little girl to get out of the orphanage. Some ladies have a surprise pregnancy and the baby is wanted when she gets a 'pregnant' result at a pregnancy test. I am happy that I have my own three children. One or replace my ex-husband, one to replace me and one to replace my last two kids dad.

Neither. I never had a desire to have kids natural or adopted. For me it's not important to have someone continue after me. There are enough people in the world like you said so I don't feel the need to add to the population.

It would be nice if we could have children themselves. Because children at least our blood flowing. However, it never hurts to adopting a child. I would also like, if it could be adopting a child.

I personally think that either one is fine. One close friend of mine, Jenny, is adopted and honestly you wouldn't know it. Just because a family isn't biologically related doesn't mean they aren't still a family.

I really respect your noble intentions. In fact, I have encountered a couple who did just that. This Caucasian couple adopted two African children as their own. When asked why they adopted, they cited the same reasons you did. I totally respect them. I guess husband and wife need to agree on this. If you get your husband to agree, that is fine. But what if your husband wants to carry on his bloodline? Then it will be an issue. Eventually, like it or not, you may have to bear your own children. It's an ego thing with the men (sometimes!) to have children from their own flesh and blood.

Ever since I was young, I have always thought that I would want to adopt at least one child if I decided to have kids. I don't really think that the bloodline is important. That's not really what makes a family. What makes a family is love. If we have the chance to change someone's life for the better, then why not?

Your choice will always be your choice. As for me, I want to have my own child. I don't wanna put up some kid from another person's sperm. Don't get me wrong, I do think that orphans also need a family and I agree that there are a lot of children out there who deserves good parents, but for me, I really wanna have my own kid, my own blood.

I don't like kids, therefore I'm not having kids neither adopting them, but I think that for other people, having your own one or adopting one, doesn't really make that much of a difference. You're going to take that kid into your family, and it will become a part of it. People who can have kids and want to have them naturally, go for it. People who can't have kids naturally but want them, adopt one.

adoption is a very great way to show these children that parents mean more than just living in her womb. parents also means great unconditional love and care and not just coming out of her or seeing her face as the first object in this world. but some things that moms tend to be excited about having a child is the feeling of his/her kicks while staying in the womb, the feeling of "labor" (it hurts! hehe) and the unexplainable feeling of staying in the baby's section in the mall for hours and hours to buy stuffs for the new creature. but in this world right now, i think adoption is a very good idea. i mean, we have tons and tons of kids out there with no parents, both in the orphanage and those in the streets. and im sure the kid you'll adopt (if you will) is surely gonna be lucky. :)

I would rather have my own children if I can but I'll just limit up to six.I will adopt children if I can't have my own, or even if I have my own children and can still afford to provide for the basic needs of an additional member in the family.The more,the merrier as long as we can afford it.

honestly, i have thought that when i get married,i would just want to adopt kids because i have heard that giving birth is painful. but when my best friend just gave birth, i suddenly realized that it is nice to have a child of your own. a child who you have took care in your womb for nine months. i believe it is a God's gift as well to have a baby and i think most guys like to have a kid who carries their own blood. anyways, i am not thinking about it seriously yet since i am still young but for sure, i will have my own child. i think it is worth the pain.

Like others have said, its probably a good thing that you dont have children of your own since you do have a fear and you are 30, so that fear probably wont just go away even if you meet someone that wants children. I have two wonderful children ages 4 and 2, and they are my biological children. I have thought about adoption since there are so many without families, and i am still thinking about it, but having your own children is something so special nobody can take away!