Money and Children

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So, my boyfriend and I both found out that we are getting a large sum of money sometime this week. His is from back child support and mine is from when disability screwed up my checks a few months back they are just now getting around to sending me my back pay. He has sole custody of his son and I am trying to gain sole custody of my daughter. Anyhow. I know a lot of people give their children allowances, I never have because quite simply I know my daughter would not spend it like she should. Instead I buy her small gifts every time I get my check. I have always done this even when she was living with me. My boyfriend buys huge gifts for his son and on top of that gives him 20 dollars a week as an allowance! I think this is way too much considering he only make about 600 a month to begin with. When my boyfriend told me about the back pay on child support I suggested that he not tell his son that he got it (his son is 11) and just use it to buy him school clothes and other things that his son needs. But, he thinks that he should give his son 100 dollars to 'play with' which I think sets the expectations kind of high for his son in the future. My daughter just had a birthday on Monday and my boyfriend thinks I should get her the 3DS that she has been wanting and the Camera that that she wants. This would total to almost 400 dollars and I just don't think it needed to spend that kind of money on a 9 year old. I don't think it's right to spend that kind of money on an 11 year old either. My boyfriend often spends on his son so much that he discludes anything nice for himself ever. He doesn't buy himself any much needed new clothes except for tax time, and even then it's usually two shirts and a pair of pants. That's it. Meanwhile he is buying tons of toys and video games for his son and not really any needed items for his son. I don't know... I just think that if kids aren't going to spend their money wisely in the first place that we shouldn't feed into that with lots of money. And we shouldn't feed into that with spending our money unwisely on them. I think my extra money would be more wisely spent buying a daybed for my living room and a kitchen table and chairs so that I'm better equipped to fight and win the custody battle I will soon have on my hands. I had to work hard for my money as a child and as an adult. I worked so hard until I got my disability, and even after I got it I still worked hard to earn extra. I need my daughter to understand that money is not easily come by and it takes hard work and determination to get what you want. Not that if you vacuum the living-room floor once a week for two months you will be able to have enough money to buy a video game system. What are your thoughts... do you give your children most of your money? Do you think kids need lots of money? Should parent's go without at the expense of their children having more?