Will u start a relationship when u know u'r gonna leave the country someday?
By babyanna
@babyanna (1216)
China
June 20, 2011 5:04am CST
Hi,my dear fellow mylotters!
Haven't seen you guys for more than a month,Miss you guys so much!!!
So I just had one final done and I'm thinking I should come back here for a while.
My American friend is leaving soon.He has passed the GRE test and is gonna go to New Jersey to pursue his further study.He started a relationship here with a Chinese girl.Now he is leaving and it becomes a sensitive topic between them.She is feeling a little bit sentimental and all.
I understand it is gonna be a hard time for both of them.But if you meet the right one in a different country knowing you would head back someday,would you simply shut out your feelings and walk away or would you do what my friend did?
Wanna know your opinions about this.And have a nice day
9 responses
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
20 Jun 11
Hi babyanana
My dear friend where have you been for so long... (btw I too have been quite away from here)
I just watched a movie last day on almost the same lines... It is tragic that this relation will end. I am not biased but know that most of today's relationships are based on "As long as we are together, the relation exists... the day we are away, it stops"
Shutting feelings is not possible at least for me, one who is ruled by heart. So in case this was to happen to me(I am married now and have no chance ) I would propose the marriage and take her with me... If not, I might never think to go away and stay there itself with her. Love rules me nothing else.
1 person likes this
@babyanna (1216)
• China
21 Jun 11
Hi,thesids!
Really miss you.Haha.I couldn't stop smiling when I saw your response.:)Well,I was preparing for my finals and also planning a farewell party for my American friend and one host from the English Corner.The American guy is the one I mentioned in my discussion and the host is gonna go to Canada to study,so...I hope I won't cry at that time.Anyway,I'm back.Hahaha.Summer vacation starts on 30th.Yaaay~~~
Yeah,it is usually the case.Long distance relationship just won't work out most of the time.
Haha,it's good to know you are ruled by heart.I'm like that as well.:P If this was to happen to me(I'm not married so I still have a chance :P),I would do the same thing you wanna do.True love needs sacrifice and if I find the right one,I'm gonna be with him whatever it takes.Hahaha.
Always a nice thing to hear from you.Have a good afternoon,my friend~:)
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
21 Jun 11
Platonic Love - I think that is what this Long Distant relationship is called. fails most of the time in present day world.
I too hope to complete my medics and be back here by the 30th and so I am quite sure of us finding each other more here That is great news... to be back with some great friends and people
1 person likes this
@wilneth (23)
• Philippines
21 Jun 11
Good day my friend I m in your situation right now My bf is leaving in other country then he decide to marry me before he leave because he is afraid when he comeback I found someone and he told me that he can live without me,...Then 18days from now i ll be here wife..then Im still doubtful if i still go with decision..but he always told me he will go to other country just for me and to our future..but Im afraid if i can live without him
@babyanna (1216)
• China
21 Jun 11
Hi,wilneth!
I really don't want to sound rude or something,but I really think you should rethink this decision.
Marriage is always a matter that we should mull over.When you rush it,it usually doesn't turn out well.It's not a solution to tie someone down.And it is certainly not a solution to make sure someone won't cheat.
Love is about trust.Just between girls,if he thinks you are gonna cheat on him and thus propose to you,don't you think the proposal sounds less authentic?And if he needs a marriage to remind himself that he should not cheat on you,don't you think he needs to be more responsible?Anyway,I think he should put more faith in you and himself,and in your relationship.
It's just my thought.I hope it won't offend you.Just don't want to see you hurt or something.
I've been there.I have had a bf who says one thing and does another.Now we don't have any connection anymore but it took me a long time to recover.
Anyway,if you guys really love each other,I wish you two a happy ending.
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
21 Jun 11
hi babyanna,
Nice to see you here again!
This situation is complicated and hurtful one being far away to the person you love is not that easy, there are feelings that even how much you tried to ignore or set aside you just can't though you know at the end you will be part ways.
Maybe they can have long distance relationship but of course temptations are all over the place it depends how will they work it out.
happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@moirai (2853)
• Philippines
21 Jun 11
Long distance relationships can work. It just depends on the people involved. So I think it's ok for people to start a relationship even if they know for a fact they are going to leave the country one day. Of course, each should know that it will take a lot of work. But then any relationship goes that way... takes work. =P
1 person likes this
@babyanna (1216)
• China
21 Jun 11
Hi,moirai!
Well,yeah,quite agree with you on some part.It takes much more work and dedication,and loyalty.True love can conquer everything if we really want it to.Hehe.If that is the case,this kind of relationship should be okay as well.
Thanks for sharing and have a nice day!
@thatgirl13 (7294)
• South Korea
20 Jun 11
Well when I think of it, I don't think I would but I know, if that happens I won't stop myself. Coz I had a friend and we used to talk about long distance relationship and about it not being a good idea and stuffs. But then he fell in love with this exchange student. She was from Spain. They were and still are in a relationship. She went back home about 6 months ago. He went to visit her last April. I don't know how they do it, long distance relationship must be so difficult. I hope they get together again. So yeah if it happens I think i wouldn't say NO too.
1 person likes this
@jabar_muzarpar (54)
• Malaysia
20 Jun 11
i believe in true love. if the relationships are worth having a true love, i'd risk having it. cause true love doesn't comes often. risk is what it takes to get it. if you are meant for someone, you will always get that someone even if you leave the planet..hehe
1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
20 Jun 11
Hello babyanna,
sometimes i wonder, why start a relationship when he's leaving the girl anyways? It's just some thing that american boys like to do. start a relationship, then leave then forget the girl, but i don't want to put a judgement on this guy. majority of the people accross the world proves that long distance relationship never works to boot.
@babyanna (1216)
• China
20 Jun 11
Hi,Letran!
Well,he says he is serious with this relationship.And he says they have talked about it.But the thing is,the girl is not the type who wants to go abroad to live,and he may never come to live here.I hope they two work it out,really.But yeah,I don't think long distance relationship will last either.It may just end.
@sswallace21 (1824)
• United States
20 Jun 11
I would pursue the dream of love. If you don't, you could miss out on a great thing. Who's to say, if this is a true love they will end up together someday. If not then it wasn't meant to be. Best Wishes!
1 person likes this
@babyanna (1216)
• China
20 Jun 11
Hi,there!
Please don't call me passive,but sometimes even when we find our true love,we end up with being with someone else.But yeah,maybe just like you said,it's not meant to be then.Still wish those who truly loves each other can have a happily-ever-after.
Thanks for sharing!
@belonephobicgirl (513)
• United States
20 Jun 11
I would want to stay with them no matter what if I was in love with them. If things weren't so serious between us, I would shut out my feelings because I would not want to wait around and waste time with someone I'm not even sure has deep feelings for me. I would probably do the pros and cons of the whole situation, either staying in that foreign country or trying to find a way for my loved one to come to my country with me. I think it's a really big step, to me it's a bigger deal than marriage.
1 person likes this