Mylotter friendships: will you accept all?
By marguicha
@marguicha (223777)
Chile
June 20, 2011 12:20pm CST
I have decided that I will not accept a friend unless either we have had a significant conversation here or he/she has a good amount of posts started or answered. By going to their profile, I can check what they say, what are their interests and if they have anything to do with me. If not, what´s the meaning of clicking a "yes, I accept" in a friendship without meaning. I habve had to deletem any friends for the same reason at Facebook and even blockl them. I don´t want to be spammed with chains there nor with links I don´t care about here. I have told many people that I do not register at paid sites for free. I also explain that if sites are not international, I cannot work there.
Besides the earning interest, I want to be friends with people who add meaning to my life. Those that will start a hundred post a day so as to earn money are not people I care to be friends with.
What is your idea about friendship here? Have you changes your points of view since you started? I have. Now it´s the time to seek quality.How about you, friends?
7 people like this
23 responses
@adnileb (5276)
• Philippines
21 Jun 11
Hi marguicha...
When I was new here, I was fond of accepting and accepting and accepting all the friend requests sent to me. But as the days passed and learning all the important matters here, I deleted some of them and not accepting the other friend requests. Like you said, when you had a conversation, then I will accept. I experienced before that they always send me thru PM's the referral links for other sites. I was a bit irritated so I just deleted them. Now, I am choosing whom to accept as some people don't know how to value the acceptance. They don't get to see the meaning of it, "FRIEND" request.
When I was new here, I was fond of accepting and accepting and accepting all the friend requests sent to me. But as the days passed and learning all the important matters here, I deleted some of them and not accepting the other friend requests. Like you said, when you had a conversation, then I will accept. I experienced before that they always send me thru PM's the referral links for other sites. I was a bit irritated so I just deleted them. Now, I am choosing whom to accept as some people don't know how to value the acceptance. They don't get to see the meaning of it, "FRIEND" request.@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
21 Jun 11
I think like you but had to learn the hard way. Now I will have to find the time to delete a lot of people that maybe have nt been active for months or years here and withwhom I never had any afinity.
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
23 Jun 11
I just thought that I´ve show to oldest ones in the first page. If they still have a couple of posts after 3 years, it would mean they were abducted by aliens, right?
@ElicBxn (63643)
• United States
20 Jun 11
I generally don't accept people with low numbers, I also don't accept people in a certain part of the world, because all the people I have accepted from those areas don't have any discussions I am interested in - and never respond to my discussions.
However, if I find a new member who post discussions in one of my interests, especially one like cross stitch or cats, and they are GOOD discussions, I will actually request THEIR friendship.
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
21 Jun 11
I don´t know what parts of the world you don´t like. As for me, it is not where they come from, but how they are what makes people interesting or not. But of course I cannot judge that after a few posts so now I wait, as you do, until they have more numbers.
I am proud to say that I have wonderful friends from countries that I barely knew anything about a couple of years ago. But all that cannot be known before they express theirselves through discussions.
I love to see handwork such as cross stitch or others, but I am slow and clumsy with it. That´s why I was so impressed with the handwork the women on Kunayala made when I went there.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
22 Jun 11
You are right at cricket. I don´t know the least thing about the sport and don´t intend to learn. But although I think males of our race are almost all sport centered in one way or another, there are people who have other interests too. But I doubt that they would be interested in cross stitch.
. I don´t know the least thing about the sport and don´t intend to learn. But although I think males of our race are almost all sport centered in one way or another, there are people who have other interests too. But I doubt that they would be interested in cross stitch.
@funnysis (2619)
• United States
20 Jun 11
I usually except all friends request but now you got me to thinking and it makes real good sense if you have nonthing in common with the person then why except a friend request I have always just thought it was the proper thing to do.I am glad you brought this up,it will help me in the futher on friends request.I hope that you have a wonderful day.@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
21 Jun 11
I am now checking at their profile. And by all means, I don´t accept someone who has one post and it is about how much money do you earn here. I might answer the mylotter, telling him to go and read the rules. But I need something more than that to befriend someone.
@jak2010 (1550)
• Papua New Guinea
21 Jun 11
Thank you my dear friend, you have brought something important. For me you are the only friend who is consistent with or update with replies to my post. Though I do not post many posts but there are some friends who did not bother to say not even a word and I keep answering their post. I feel it too, it is unfair and at the same time as you said you may just use me to spam me. I should be careful. Now I will delete all those friends' name. And only stick those who are freindly with me. And you. the best, first on my list.
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
21 Jun 11
Dearest Jak, How can I not answer you when you bring me your friendship crossing the biggest distances we have in this planet!. Yesterday, when you pictures me eating at your house, I was so moved. I do wish we could have a magic carpet so that we could visit each other. That´s what I meant in this post. Here, as in our everyday life, friends are few. I have a lt of "friends" here that are people I accpted at one time or another. They mean nothingg to me. You do.
@jak2010 (1550)
• Papua New Guinea
21 Jun 11
I don't know what to say, If mean everything to me as I can see your genuiness of friendship by attempting do that a freind can do, and that I cherish, even after operation. I think mylot provides this avenue where we can share such ....., the money is secondary. Many friends are here only for money and only have time for us when it suits them. For some of us, esp u, we will be always there chating and cheering up one another unitl internet connection discontinue us. Warmest love and wishes to you. Keep smiling and plant your flowers and cook your favourite dishes.
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
7 Aug 11
hi,
actually i always accept all freind request sent by other people,i dont mind if that person is not active or active here in mylot,for me at least i add them as my friend,because i dont depend on the friends i have,instead i should be active and participate more here in mylot site.
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
8 Aug 11
You are right, but my problem is that notifications about discussions cope my mail and it takes a lot of time to delete them. How do you do that?
@amitgune (877)
• India
21 Jun 11
I believe that there is no harm in being friends with anyone. Once we are friends with them, we gradually understand their likes and dislikes and then the relationship blossoms even further. So I accept many friend invitations, in fact all of them.
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
21 Jun 11
I used to do that, but discovered that I can´t keep up with the resposibilities of a friendship if I have too many of them. And by all means, I´m not interested in all decent human beings. I respect them, but can´t be friends with all of them.
@THEcreationist (837)
• India
24 Jun 11
Hi, marguicha.
I accept all friend requests without seeing the person's interests or previous discussions. I believe that mylot is a fine example of limited social networking where mostly ideas are shared rather than making relations. So, I do not care much about the profile of the person, his/her interests or even history of his/her discussions.
However, I do delete friends so as to keep my inbox to only quality discussion updates. I delete persons who start absurd discussions that mean nothing to the concept of sharing ideas. Such people create lots of discussions everyday or create nonsense discussions. Also, I periodically delete the persons who have not been active for a long time.
By the way, I have not been significantly active for some time due to increasing pressure of studies. But, I am glad you have not yet deleted me.
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
7 Aug 11
Maybe it´s a good idea. To accept everyone and then place thm on trial, sort of. I don´t like that kind of mylotters who post 20 or more diascussions a day, I fill my emil with their posts and then I read them and amount to nothing.
1 person likes this
@kolsti87 (521)
• United States
22 Jun 11
I do accept all of my friend requests but this is because I don't really get that many. I believe if more people see my posts then more people will respond to them. If more people respond, then the better the chances that I can respond and start a conversational topic and further the discussion, thus increasing earnings and learnings (I am Dr Seuss!).
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
22 Jun 11
THe best way to get many responses is to start discussions of good quality and tag them well, with many one leeter tagas. There are many times when I go to a post and at the right hand of the page there are other related topics. This doesn´t happen if your discussion is not tagged properly.
Happy posting!
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
21 Jun 11
The only way I can see a bit how a person is in this site is by reading and commenting on their posts. If what they talk about does not interest me, they can be nice but can´t be my friends.
@devijay78 (1573)
• India
21 Jun 11
Hi marguicha. I do value friendships here and so am very choosy about the friends I make. Does not matter if it is online or in real life. I do not accept friend request with 0 posts and very little posts. Like you, I would like to go through their profiles, find out more about them, their interests, their replies to discussions etc. But sometimes, there are people from whose profiles it is difficult to determine their gender too! They just have so little posts! And they might have responded to or started discussions which are in no way related to me or my interests. So, to answer your question simply, no. I will not accept all friend requests.
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
22 Jun 11
If we have th patience to wait, maybe we can get friends that will be nearer our interests. It takes tiem but it´s worth it. I did not do that at first and now I have to use part of my time deleting people that were never friends.
@lindaharding627 (1442)
• United States
21 Jun 11
I look to see if the person has made any posts or responded to any posts. If their request has been pending three days and their posts are at zero, my guess is that they are looking for people to spam and I will not add them.
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
21 Jun 11
The quantity of posts is one of the things I check (easy) but I also check their quality and interests at their profile. I didn´t do that at first and have too many so called friends that I need to delete. Some of them are not even active at mylot anymore.
@moirai (2853)
• Philippines
21 Jun 11
Hmm... I normally just accept any request that comes in. I don't think I have that many yet (I'm a bit lazy to check right now... =P ). But I've been lucky not to get any spam from anyone. Except for one person, whose account quickly got deleted too, I think, I haven't received any other message containing ref links and things like that.
This will sound really shallow =P but my friends list here is mostly for sources of discussions to participate in. I have not really reached the point yet of actually 'making friends' - I mean, really getting to know them. =/
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
21 Jun 11
You have been lucky. I have too many friends from the fisrt months as a member. I should clean my list as there are people who have not even shown up after a couple of posts in months.
@wealthybhavik (198)
• United States
21 Jun 11
yes marguicha.i am using mylot since some months and i am not so old here.i have only 71 friends so i think i should continue making friends.i have felt here that the more friends you have you can have more discussions to respond because you can see the discussion your friend started.yes there are lots of categories but this one is which i feel most comfortable with.
i think if i have more friends then they will answer to my discussion and i will have chance to comment and earn more.
i saw your profile and you have 985 friends,it may be because you are quite senior in mylot so i think you have reached about 1000 friends and that is quite enough.so you can now consider whom to make friends and which requests you should avoid.by the way thanks for accepting my request.
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
21 Jun 11
I´m afraid that amount of friends comes from the time I was a newbie. I´m in the process of deleting friends now because I have found that most of those friends don´t have anything in common with me and I also discovered that for me earning is not the most important thing I seek here. I am deleting now, little by little, those people that start 20 discussions a day. I have discovered that they don´t want to say anything but want a penny. I don´t want them with me. There are so many people that write a few posts about important things! I don´t want to miss them.
@mantis36 (4219)
• Philippines
21 Jun 11
i accept it all, no exceptions....
because i want to know their comments response either negative comment or positive comment it's ok....
whether they are agree or not, it's ok
learning is an important part of education, not only in school but in forums such as myLot as well,
yet this forum doesn't have a high tuition fee payment instead it pays you, but the most important is that you'll now their answer whether you like it or not....
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
22 Jun 11
You don´t have to be friends with anyone here to post discussions or answer them. I sterted accepting many friends but now I think that Ihave never had any privaty conversation withj most of them.
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
20 Jun 11
Hi marguicha!
I accept most of those users who send a request.
Many of them are new users and if we have had an exchange or two on a discussion, then I sort of sensed that a request was coming. Those who intend spamming do not ususally appear on those 'new user' topics and they oftenjust want some sort of clatification about stars or a guideline.
If a new user with a few posts but absolutely no contact on the discussions sends a request then I check out their activity and decide from there whether to accept or not.
I have quite a few pending right now as I wouldnot have time for PMs too (I still have comments to make on my last discussions 
).
If I add them and they send their links I tell them that I will not be reporting them but others might and suggest that, unless they want to risk their account, they should stop.
I accept most of those users who send a request.
Many of them are new users and if we have had an exchange or two on a discussion, then I sort of sensed that a request was coming. Those who intend spamming do not ususally appear on those 'new user' topics and they oftenjust want some sort of clatification about stars or a guideline.
If a new user with a few posts but absolutely no contact on the discussions sends a request then I check out their activity and decide from there whether to accept or not.
I have quite a few pending right now as I wouldnot have time for PMs too (I still have comments to make on my last discussions ).
If I add them and they send their links I tell them that I will not be reporting them but others might and suggest that, unless they want to risk their account, they should stop.@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
21 Jun 11
You are a wonder, Di! I would like to give many people those advises but just don´t have the time. I try to comment on the answers to my posts, respond to some posts that appeal to me specially, check on what my friends are writing about and that about ends my day.
I prefer to spend the reast of my time boasting about all the people that have offered me their homes lately. They have moved me more than you can imagine. So I think that it is a waste of time to befriend someone who wants to earn a cent mor with me until proven the contrary by what they post or answer to other discussions.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
20 Jun 11
I accept most at least for a month or two. But I do look at profiles before I acceept them
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
21 Jun 11
I look at the profiles too, but there´s nothing to look at if they have only ne post or answer and it´s only about earning money. I have 15 such people in my waiting list.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
20 Jun 11
Hi marguicha
When I first came here I accepted all, as I came here with no friends. But it is too hard to keep doing that. I get so many requests daily. Lot's of which I have never even interacted with. I have for a few months left them in pending because there are so many that I cannot relate to in their topics. Yes, this coming from a very active girl, I can't keep up.
I don't mind adding new members but I usually try and advise them to take it slow when it comes to adding friends. See if we have not knowledge about their topics and we cannot respond then they feel ignored. Most don't listen and request anyways.
I do not have a problem so far with pm, and spams but it is getting too hard to find a friend on my list as there are way too many and we cannot do a search. So I have done like mysd and left them in pending for a while to see if there is any common interests, some do not even come back after the request.
When I first came here I accepted all, as I came here with no friends. But it is too hard to keep doing that. I get so many requests daily. Lot's of which I have never even interacted with. I have for a few months left them in pending because there are so many that I cannot relate to in their topics. Yes, this coming from a very active girl, I can't keep up.
I don't mind adding new members but I usually try and advise them to take it slow when it comes to adding friends. See if we have not knowledge about their topics and we cannot respond then they feel ignored. Most don't listen and request anyways.
I do not have a problem so far with pm, and spams but it is getting too hard to find a friend on my list as there are way too many and we cannot do a search. So I have done like mysd and left them in pending for a while to see if there is any common interests, some do not even come back after the request.@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
21 Jun 11
I feel that even online, It is better if you find the same person several times when you are answering something that interests you and after a while you feel that the only thing you haven´t done has been to actually ask for friendship. But those newbies with one post ar spamming my friends list if I accept them. How can I know how they are after one post about earning money. Yet I also want money, but that´s not all I am.
Yet I also want money, but that´s not all I am.
@polaris77 (2039)
• Bacau, Romania
21 Jun 11
I accept any request for friendship here on Mylot because I want to communicate with more people,and if I see that they start spamming and annoy me with referral invitations or other things I simply delete them,that's easy,they eliminate themselves from my list by their actions.Anyway,I've never refused a friendship request until now,but I also deleted some of my friends,but my principle remains the same:I'll accept everyone initially.
@keenan_savio (416)
• India
21 Jun 11
I would agree with your thoughts as mentioned Marguicha. Well in my case am farely new out here in mylot and at times I hesitate in accepting new friends requests but after going throught their profiles I may go ahead and add them..
Also as I would like to take part in as many discussions as possible and by adding new friends it gives you a lot of new discussions options. So in my case it benefits me and its going well. But yes as I mentioned hesistancy can be there at times.
At the end of the day we all here to enjoy the discussions and also share our thoughts out here on mylot. Cheers to all....
@Jessi_T (379)
• United States
20 Jun 11
No, I will not accept all mylot friends request. Been there done that. Wont do it again. I used to think because there weren't enough personal information in my profile it didn't matter who I accepted. I have since learned that it very much does matter and I am going to be very careful who I accept. SO yes I have changed my point of view on who I accept as my friends.
@marguicha (223777)
• Chile
20 Jun 11
When I changed my absurd idea of accepting everyone, I started thinking why would I accept all kinds of people online when I have never done that in real life! And at least, when you are in front of a person, you can look into the person´s eyes to have an idea.
