How do I tell her she needs to stop?
By keeegan_ess
@keeegan_ess (512)
United States
June 21, 2011 9:55pm CST
There's this girl at the mall who is very very skinny. And I'm not talking about the usual "Woah, she's so skinny!", I'm talking about so skinny that she looks like a skeleton. Honestly, it's all just skin and bones. The thing about this girl is that she walks around the mall for hours and hours. Just walking around the whole perimeter of the mall. When I come in, she's already begun walking, and when I'm about to leave, she's still there walking. And it's not even walking at a slow pace either. She walks at a very quick pace. Very fast like she's almost trying to get somewhere.
I really am scared for her life. It definitely looks as if she's struggling with a disease that has to do with her being skinny, maybe anorexia or bulimia? I've told myself many times that I'm going to stop her, but I couldn't muster up the courage to do it! I really need to stop her! We're talking about her life here, and she could kill herself! She obviously doesn't feed herself well, and she is persistently losing calories! What do I do?
3 people like this
11 responses
@gicolet (1702)
• United States
22 Jun 11
I admire your honest concern for this girl but you need to make sure first if she really is suffering from anorexia or bulimia. There is this rare syndrome that makes a person looks like anorexic but not. This syndrome has no name yet but it makes a person eat every 15 min and not gain weight. The metabolism is just that fast since birth. Have you heard of Lizzie Velasquez? Check her story out and see if she looks like the girl you saw at the mall.
http://www.aboutlizzie.com/#!__home/about-lizzie
Bless your heart. you're a good person :)
1 person likes this
@alphenor (686)
• Philippines
22 Jun 11
When I first saw her on the video I closed the tab right away.. I don't want to be crying while in class, which is about 30 minutes later. That moment I knew that I can't stand being unemotional as I watched the vid. Sorry.
I feel sorry for those people though.
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 11
I have read about Lizzie a years ago. I admire her as she has such courage and strength to face and get through her problems. For me she is as normal as we are~ She is unlike other people who simply did not eat, having eating disorder and deliberately looking for disease~
@lilbabycatapillar (497)
• United States
22 Jun 11
Nah, only three people in the world have that, and I don't think poor Lizzie would make it harder for herself to gain weight but walking all over a mall.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
22 Jun 11
Maybe you should befriend her first. Then, when you are already friends with her perhaps you could ask her why she keeps doing that walking. Then, you could caringly tell her she's already so slim , so doing it might not do good to her anymore.
I guess, she has anorexia.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
22 Jun 11
Well, when you meet her again along those corridors, you could smile and say hi to her. Then you could start by saying you always see her there. Then, introduce yourself and ask for her name and from where she is. That will be a beginner.
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
22 Jun 11
Hmmm...that actually seems like a good idea. But it definitely sounds easier saying it over the computer! I don't know whether or not I'll be able to do it when I see her again. Hopefully I have enough courage to confront her!
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
22 Jun 11
That seems like such a realistic and good idea. But I don't exactly know how to befriend her. I can't just start walking with her and talk to her you know? Or maybe I can?
@GemmaR (8517)
•
22 Jun 11
If this girl has an eating disorder, then simply talking to her isn't going to do the trick. She will not understand that there is something wrong in her mind, so talking to her will not work. You should talk to her parents or one of her close friends about it as they might feel as though they are in the right place to be able to convince her that she is wrong. The most important thing is that she eats, so she needs to try and build up the amount that she eats and cut back on the amount of calories that she burns by doing exercise.
1 person likes this
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
23 Jun 11
That's what I thought. But the thing is that she's a total stranger to me. I don't know her parents or any of her friends. All I see walking in the mall is her by her self. Just round and round walking. And I am concerned. It's interesting because she's turned quite a few heads with her constant strolling throughout the mall. And I wonder whether someone has stopped her before? And she probably is going to deny that something is wrong with her. That's one of the things about suffering from this disorder. I really need to get some greater help.
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
22 Jun 11
No, I definitely think she's not mall staff. She just doesn't look the type, and she doesn't really do anything but walk around.
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 11
Hi keegan_ess!
What a strange girl~ She just walking around there everyday??? I wonder why~
Anyway I think you need to talk to her. Not just because of her eating habit or did she suffer from serious illness like you mentioned above but what's she exactly do there. Hope she is not the physcho type~
Anyway I think you need to talk to her. Not just because of her eating habit or did she suffer from serious illness like you mentioned above but what's she exactly do there. Hope she is not the physcho type~@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
22 Jun 11
Sometimes psycho type can be dangerous and since you disagree and you meet her often than I am sure she is absolutely not a dangerous type person~A psycho or not, like you said her condition shows that she needs help. And perhaps you can be the one who can help her.
I am so sorry if it sounded rude~
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
22 Jun 11
You actually sound kind of rude with all the smiley faces you included in your response. She's definitely struggling with an illness, or else she wouldn't be doing something like this to her body. And maybe she is psycho, but that doesn't make her any less of a person. If she is "psycho", then she needs help. She needs someone to talk to her about these problems. And maybe no one has stepped up to the plate yet.
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
22 Jun 11
Aww it's okay. I didn't mean to offend you either. You probably came off rude without knowing it. I totally get your point now! Yes, there are some psycho people who are and can be very harmful. And yes, these people do need help. But I really don't think this woman is psycho. She really is in desperate need of help. And hopefully I can provide that or find some!
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
22 Jun 11
Sounds like she really does have a problem. I doubt that you could help her because she most likely sees herself differently. You see her as she is and she sees herself as overweight or fat. It's a sickness. She needs psychological help.
If I were you I would try to get to know her and then tell her bow worried you are a out her. She may not listen though because she doesn't see herself that way.
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
23 Jun 11
Yeah, that's usually a significant characteristic of a disorder. It affects the brain and the ability to perceive things. She's probably seen herself many times in the mirror and thought she was fat. When obviously she isn't! And that truly is the sad part of it all. I was honestly do my best to help her. Hopefully we can get her the psychological help she so desperately needs!
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
23 Jun 11
You are a very good person to want to help someone you don't know. Good for you.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Jun 11
keeegan--ess You must stop her by getting her to have coffee with you and explaining why you wanted to talk to her.That much skinniness is not
mormal and She is either bu lemic or anorexic and she needs medical help.
She may not have anyone to see what shes doing to herself and it would be a blessing if she knew someone actually cared for her. I would just tell her what you have told us,that you are worried for her health and gry to get her to see a doctor. Really you would be helping her, not hurtimg
her. please so talk to her.
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
23 Jun 11
That sounds like a pretty good solution. I wonder, though, how I'm going to get her to stop walking around the mall and sit down with me and drink. Or if she'll even take the drink! I'm just scared that I'll try to stop her and she'll just try to push me aside to stop me from interfering. I really don't want to cause a disturbance.
@oXAquaXo (607)
• United States
22 Jun 11
I would suggest talking to her, but be careful not to seem like you're "butting in" and being rude. I would just slowly approach her and talk to her about why she's walking around, and if she's looking for something. That'll be a good entrance to the conversation, and gently see if she's willing to accept your help. She might have some sort of mental illness or something, if she continuously does this, so be careful not to alarm her. I really hope you can help her with whatever issue she has!
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
22 Jun 11
I really want to help her too! But you're right, I shouldn't be rude; I should slowly gain her trust. I mean, I should disturb these people more. They might harm themselves more extensively, which I definitely don't want to happen.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
22 Jun 11
I understand what you mean. THere are some people who really look extremely skinny and the wind will really blow them away.
Do you think this girl has anorexia? I think that she has.
Do you know this girl? Or she's just a stranger?
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
1 Jul 11
You are right..
There is very little that we can do for others, especially when the other person is a stranger. What can we do? I understand that you don't want to offend her. But seeing her walk pass you eveytime makes you feel bad.
Dilemma.
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
22 Jun 11
Yes, that's what I thought. You can't just be EXTREMELY skinny and no suffer a disease!
And no, I don't know this girl. That's why it makes it so hard for me to approach her. I don't want to offend her.
@cooldudeboy1 (121)
• India
22 Jun 11
get to know her, maybe she might be suffering from something , you cant really jump to conclusions and say that just by observing her in the mall, thats a very irrational thing to do
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
22 Jun 11
I know my idea is just based on glance, but I really feel it with her. I mean, what else could it be? She's bony skinny, and she just keeps walking. I really don't think she just goes to the mall every day to walk around for fun, nor do I think she is a part of the mall staff. It definitely seems something beyond that.
@Kaplan19 (6)
•
26 Nov 17
She could have an illness that causes her to be that thin like a thyroid problem or something like that. She might walk around the mall so much because she doesn't have a very good home environment or maybe a parent works at the mall and she stays there. But to be really frank, as someone who has struggled with an eating disorder for several years, people with eating disorders kind of get a thrill or kick out of it when someone they don't notice asks them if they have an eating disorder or mention how skinny they are getting and just telling them youre concerned isn't going to do anything to stop them from doing what theyre doing.
