Do you believe in spanking your child?
By keeegan_ess
@keeegan_ess (512)
United States
June 23, 2011 2:09pm CST
I was just watching this Tyra show the other day about spanking your child. If you don't know what Tyra is, it's basically just a talk show about different issues and other things. Well anyway, there were two sides to this whole argument. One side of ladies were saying that if a little spank is necessary, it should be doled out. They were saying that it doesn't denote any violence on the parent's part, and it usually just shows the child that they need to fix their behavior, whatever they may be doing wrong. The other side was, of course, retorting. They argued that spanking does show some sort of violence. It shows that kid that the parents can hit them and are capable of doing it. It strikes fear into their heart and can eventually scar them. This can usually cause the kids to be violent to others, as they said. Most of these parents said that they usually just take their kid aside and have a discussion about them about their behavior and what needs to change instantly.
I remember as a child I was spanked, and I'm pretty sure there weren't any negative side effects about it. Heck, sometimes I needed that spanking because I was acting real immature at the time. And I definitely didn't develop and violent symptoms after being spanked. Sometimes it was just a little warning or hit that I needed to know that I was doing something wrong and that I needed to change what I was doing. So what do you guys think about this whole thing?
3 people like this
14 responses
@_sketch_ (5742)
• United States
23 Jun 11
I do not believe in any violence. When people resort to physical violence, it is normally out of anger. This is not a good environment for children. Many children are afraid of their parents. We do not need anger and we do not need fear. We need love. If we are to claim that we are civilized, then we need to learn to use other means of discipline. Namaste.
1 person likes this
@_sketch_ (5742)
• United States
26 Jun 11
That depends on your definition of violence I guess. I believe that any hitting is violent. If I were to hit an adult in the same manner that is deemed acceptable to do to a child, I could be charged with assault. You want to know another way that tells the child to stop? Telling the child to stop.
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
26 Jun 11
If spanking is done correctly, it doesn't condone violence whatsoever. If you're beating your child and kicking him/her, then there's definitely a problem there. But a spank is just a firm hit that tells the child to stop.
@RebelBandGeek12 (129)
• United States
24 Jun 11
I was spanked as a child and definitely deserved it. My parents NEVER hit me so hard that it left a bruise, but it still taught me a lesson. I don't believe that a small slap on the behind is harmful, and most of the kids probably won't think anything of it when they're older.
As for the violence argument, it's not really violent. Video games, television, and movies show MUCH more violence than a simple spank. Yes, even very young children get far more violent messages per day from other sources, and spanking is not even on the list.
1 person likes this
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
26 Jun 11
You're so right about the violence in the media! I mean, there's a lot of people on here that are saying that spanking condones violence, when in fact, there are way more outside factors that condone violence. I'm sure that many of the parents who are opposed to spanking are allowing their children to watch television that shows some sort of violence. Be it slapping, kicking, hitting, or even murdering. A spanking isn't violent if done correctly. And it's especially not violent compared to the other harmful things we see in the media every single day.
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
24 Jun 11
I believe in spanking the child and i believe it could be done without necessarily resorting to violence. When you spank a child it does not mean you will spank him without a reason. If the child needs to feel the pain before he learns a good lesson then do. Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of correction shall take this away from him. I was spanked for so many times when I was a child but I never ever took this against my parents. I knew I committed mistakes so I got spanking and this taught me to behave well. I believe this is one of the reasons why I was raised up well. Now that I am a mother myself, I also used rod to correct and discipline my child and I am happy he never felt bitter or violated. Parents should know how to handle the rod. We must not spank the child because we want to hurt the child but because we want him to grow into a good person. He must know that he can't get away with his bad deeds just like that. He committed mistakes and he has to pay the price for it. And even if we spank the child we can still show him in a hundred more ways that we love him and we never want to spank him. It is just that he has to behave well so that he could avoid being spanked again.
@marguicha (222364)
• Chile
23 Jun 11
I spanked my children occationally and don´t think it did them any harm. I was also spanked bt my parents once in a while. Nowadays, you cannot touch a child unless you want your loved children to be taken away from you to a horrid foster home. A small pat on the butt so they behave is ultimate violence. GIVE ME A BREAK!!!! What is worse? A child who learns to have rights AND duties or a child that thinks that the world must do as he wishes?
The first time I spanked my granddaughter she was months old. She was left to crawl in the floor and would immediatly seek the electric switches. Hundreds of times I got her away from them saying no. At last I spanked her in her chubby hand while saying NO!!! She never did it again. She is 21 now, very much alive and kicking, did not get electrocuted and she loves me
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
24 Jun 11
Sorry to butt in but I think you are absolutely right! My kiddos don't learn unless I tap them once in a while. I could talk until I'm blue in the face, when I give them a smack they hear me loud and clear.
@taylor005 (13)
• United States
24 Jun 11
I do the same , the kids seem to not listen when you talk to them but let them know your going to spank them bet you not they sit and start behaving. Paretns should set boundaries and let the child know who is in control. If you do not discipline your child then they will think it's ok to run all over you
@marguicha (222364)
• Chile
24 Jun 11
I know (as anyone who is not insanedoes) that there´s a great difference between setting boundaries and torturing a child. I don´t know why nowadays that difference has disappeared and any nosy lady can call the cops if you grab your child who is having a tantrum at the super because you don´t buy him something all he wants
. In those occations, I´d hold FIRMLY the culprit by one arm (the bones won´t break)and tell him he´d better behave or ELSE. It usually works, specially when you are consistent.
. In those occations, I´d hold FIRMLY the culprit by one arm (the bones won´t break)and tell him he´d better behave or ELSE. It usually works, specially when you are consistent.
@Malingkatka (101)
• Philippines
23 Jun 11
This is a nice topic for discussion.I think spanking a child little sometimes could be a of to a child.There are really children who are hard-headed and their attitude must be corrected sometimes with a little spank.Spanking a child should not be at all times the child commit mistakes because the child may be immune with your and may rebel against you.I also believe that if a child is also punish he can bring that feeling of inferior and may become a problem in the future.Little spank is OK but not too much or regularly.Talking to child about the need to be change in his/her behavior is the best way to discipline.You should explain what did he/she done wrong,why it is bad and what should be done next time in a nice way could help the child in his/her behavior.
@sssssulaman (6)
• Pakistan
18 Jul 11
i agree with you too. spanking can also be damaging to the child physiologically so it must be done with in a limit
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
25 Jun 11
I agree with what you're saying. Spanking shouldn't be for too hard or so regularly. Or else that will probably condone violence, which is what parents don't want for their kids.
@genesisgroldan (214)
• Philippines
24 Jun 11
Personally, having my very first child also gives me a thought on whether I'd be spanking him or not. I also grew up being spanked several times and it has never been an effective tool for me. I always think that communication will still be the best in disciplining your child. Words will eventually be seeded to his mind and will definitely outgrow as time goes by. Spanking may be helpful at times but dealing with your child emotionally through effective communication may have a greater effect on his end.
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
26 Jun 11
Hmmm...now I finally see a good opposition. You're right. Even if spanking is probably quicker and more efficient, talking to your child probably develops a stronger relationship with them. Ultimately it depends on the parent and the type of parenting style they choose to show.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
30 Jun 11
Communication is a great tool except for the fact that a 3 year old cannot be reasoned with. He is not going to understand the reasons for not doing something wrong. He is to little to be able to reason with. I in fact hate this method. They are children, not adults. You can tell an adult you don't do this because this can happen but what 3 year old gets that and listens to that???
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
23 Jun 11
I was spanked as a child and it never done me any harm. I also do not think that my children are hurt by the spankings that they got when they were younger. My oldest daughter preferred to be spanked than to be grounded. She always said it only hurt for a few minutes and that it mainly hurt her feelings, but being grounded was torture.
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
25 Jun 11
Haha that's so true! Spanking only lasts a few minutes, and it's pretty darn effective. Timeouts or other things are way too long and they cause a ruckus.
@granite_butterfly (448)
• Canada
23 Jun 11
Personally, I don't believe in spanking children. To me, spanking a child is a form of violence and we teach our children that mistakes have violent consequences. Such is life that we make mistakes, need guidance and learn from them. A spanked child learns to fear mistakes. There are many alternatives to spanking children that I believe would be healthier for children. Why would we want our children to fear?
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
25 Jun 11
But the thing is that these kids need to learn. They need to learn what they're doing wrong, and they need to learn it needs to stop. And if spanking is done correctly, it's not violent. It doesn't condone violence in any way. It's just a firm, hard pat that signals something. I was spanked as a kid, and I'm pretty sure I'm not a violent kid. There really were no side effects to my situation.
@celticeagle (165954)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Jun 11
I can remember being switched all the way home by my grandmother. I respected and loved her very much. I worry though that spanking in an agressive child can cause them to be worse not better. I think that spanking should be as a last resort and not a beating but a some spats. I recall spanking my daughter one time and I think it hurt me more than it did her. It isn't something I really agree with especially when trying to teach a child not to hit or be agressive physically. It is hypocritical.
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
25 Jun 11
Hmmm...I see where you're getting at. I, too, was spanked as a child. And I don't think it really caused any bad side effects. Well, it may hurt the parent more, but at least the child knows that it isn't because the parent hates them. What shouldn't happen, though, is a beating. A spanking is fine, if it's just an firm slap. But hitting and beating aggressively is child abuse.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (165954)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Jun 11
True. But, if a child is agressive and physical anyway and then you spank them I think it sends a mixed message. Most children might understand this is punishment but this type of child wouldn't.
@anklesmash (1412)
•
23 Jun 11
I think it depends on the circumstances how and why the child was spanked.I dont think the child should be spanked if their just being a nuisance such as talking while you are watching something on the tv they should only be spanked if they did something really bad and it should bethe least and last picked of all your punishments. also when you carry out the spanking it should be reasonable such as a smack on the back of the legs,you shouldnt do it because you have lost your temper and after you should explain why you did it,what they did wrong and why it was wrong.
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
25 Jun 11
I agree with you. I think that most parents already do spank their children only when it's absolutely necessary. Like for me, I was spanked as a child also. And it was usually a last resort when my mom had warned me many previous times, and I refused to stop. Usually spanking did the trick, and I would stop immediately. I don't think, though, the spank should be too hard. It should hurt enough for the child to know that they need to stop. It really is about your parenting style and whether or not you approve of it.
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
24 Jun 11
Hi Keeegan_ess, I think all children need some spanking at certain times.
Some kids are very sensitive, and they will cry before the parents even spank them.
However, some kids are really stubborn, and they need a good spanking to learn the lessons of good and bad.
I think if parents do it out of love, their children would be better behaved.
Over here, it used to be that teachers and parents spank the kids for telling lies and bully other children.
That was the time when kids are better behaved.
Now parents refuse to spank the kids, and many of them do not behave well.
Some kids even resort to scolding and hitting their parents.
I think the violence in children have more to do with TV and violent video games than the discipline from parents.
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
26 Jun 11
Yup that's what I was saying all along. There are some stubborn kids out there who won't get the message unless they feel some kind of pain. They need something stronger to signal something wrong. And a spanking will do that for them. And you're totally right about the media thing. Like I was saying in another comment, a spanking is way less violent then what we already see.
@dynzdolina (381)
• Philippines
27 Jun 11
as a child, i had experience that spanking dilemma, i thought that i would become extra violent and rebellious. on the contrary, I become aware of my mistakes bearing in mind that doing something would mean spanking.
@AishaBR (345)
• United States
23 Jun 11
I think spanking a child is ok as long as your not doing just to do it. To me that is one form of discipline that works. I got beat when I was growing up only because I was doing what I wasn't suppose to do. Where i'm from people beat their kids where every they are even in front of the police and the police don't say anything. And they are well mannered
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
25 Jun 11
Yeah, I agree. Spanking should be in moderation. You shouldn't do it for small or simple things that the child did wrong. Wow, where you're from sounds like spanking is accepted.
@sabakyuu (2)
•
23 Jun 11
well, I myself too was spanked as a child and I think it was a good discipline teaching rather than harmful violence, and I remember back then that I cried a lot (I was a real crybaby) but now I'm thankfull seing some of my cousins always going overboard and that's likely because of there spoiled childhood , anyway I'm for disciplining your child with physical punishments as long as it's not excessive.
@keeegan_ess (512)
• United States
25 Jun 11
Yeah, I totally agree with you. I was spanked too, and it taught me that something was wrong. That I was doing something immature and it needed to stop instantly. When I see little kids now that are acting very annoying and their parents spank them, I see why. Spanking really doesn't hurt that much, and it just tells the child.
