How important are looks to you?

Hi Hazel. I am not hung up on my looks. I've lost a lot of weight since 2001. But I've never worried whether someone will like me or not. I'm the same person no matter what I weigh or how I look. I don't think I'm too hard to look at. I like wearing some makeup sometimes but that is about it.

Well, if you are really concern about how you look or weigh from your fiance's point of view, I think it would be okay for you to ask him directly, won't it? At least, he could be honest and then if it's okay with him, then you'll have no more worries. My girlfriend does the same, she asks me about how she looks and stuffs like that, she's not really vain, she just noticed that she's gaining weight fast so she got a little alarmed. As for me, I just told her the truth. I told her that she was gaining weight, which wasn't a big deal for me, and that if it got to the point where I, too will be alarmed, I will tell her immediately. I sometimes joke around just to annoy her and she'd go all mad at me and then we'll be okay. So, you see, if he really loves you, your weight is just another thing, he can live with it and if it does bother him, he'll have to tell you.

Its more important for you to be the kind of person you would want to be with, than looking like the kind of person you would want to be with. Having gone through high school with everyone else, I learned pretty quick the some of the most attractive girls there, are often the most prideful arrogant girls there. I wouldn't want to spend 5 minutes with most of them. Which gets back to the point, be the kind of person someone wants to be with. If you are stressed out all the time over your weight, you being stressed is going to drive someone away, more than your weight will. Look at the old people who have been married for years. Beauty if fleeting. Something has to keep the love alive for them to be married 50 years, and it obviously isn't physical. Now I'm not saying that it doesn't matter. Of course it does. If you make yourself revolting, then yeah that will cause a problem. You start cramming down the twinkies until you are 400 lbs, then yeah. No man wants to come home after a hard day at work, and sit down next to Jabba the Hut. But seriously, you are no where close to that. Yes getting back to a regular weight you are comfortable with, is a good idea. You'll feel better, have more energy, blaw blaw blaw. And of course its always good to get into the habit of having a goal, and striving for it until you get it. So it's good for you to do this. But it's not the 'main thing'. It's not even a 'top thing'. It just a 'good thing'. And if you haven't heard this in awhile, you are a good looking gal. If you were single, I'd have no problem taking you anywhere. Be well.

Women always worry about their weight. But a man that doesn't love his women because of a few pounds is not worth having. I had a bad spell with my Rheumatoid Arthritis, getting around is very hard for me, so I put on some weight. Thankfully I'm losing weight right now, but not for my husband, for me so I can get around better. I'm 170 so taking off some pounds will be helpful. There is so much more to life than a person's weight. What happens if something does happen, your fiance needs to love you no matter what. On the flip side there should be no problem with spouses helping each other be healthier, but in a nice way. Spouses need to be more than lovers they need to be best friends as well.

Hi there, when i was little baby the relatives were happy for my fat and lovely body. Ya, they were played with me and told me they really loved me. But when i grow up and realize that i'm not beatiful because of the baby-fat. I got engaged with my finance last year. He love me very much and is addicted to my body. He tell me i'm plump and sexy. And ever never ask me to lose weight just keep the figure. Even though i really know that i'm fat i also accept his words and appreciate for that. Because i know this is the love, a man to a woman. So if u wanna lose weight just tell urself it's for urself not ur fiance.

I don't think modern women should still orient their life around their men. If you feel that overweight causes problem to your health or your life, then you can do some exercises to lose weight. But if you are perfectly fine with your figure and your weight, then just be the way you are. Mr. Right will fall for you just because who you are.

I think it's just us women who are so conscious about our weight. Men actually doesn't care at all. As long as the body looks good, weight doesn't matter. As long as we don't look obese, there's no problem. I was a little chubby before but now I became super skinny. I think I lost my butt and that's my problem now. I think I have unproportional fat distribution.

Hi there, I have gained weight since the holiday season. It sucks bigtime since i cannot wear my favorite clothes anymore.. now i am trying my very best to lose pounds... i have started three weeks ago and i have already lost three pounds... i want to be skinny again so i would be feel confident about myself... back to the topic, i am sure you're partner doesn't mind your weight at all... he loves you for who you are... :)

I believe we women have this tendency to be over paranoid about our partners losing love and affection because of additional cellulites and flabs. Sometimes it is the case but more often than not, NOT. In this case, I can say that the cliche that "men are insensitive" actually works for our benefit.

For me it is important anyway in my life because I love to see the girl who is beautiful and in men is handsome also.

There are boyfriends who don't like to comment on their girlfriends' appearance just so that their feelings will not be hurt. So, just try to always look good to him and avoid getting too much weight, if that was not you , when he first met you. It is a pride of the boyfriend if their girlfriend is good looking.

For me its very important because this is the only thing that we had in free so we need to take good care..and the first impression will last so its better to look beautiful inside and outside..

hi my lotters ..perhaps looks is important because some of us don't want to become ugly, ;] now a days people easily attract in physical especially men . looks are the first part of attraction. but no matter what you look like, if you are thin, fat who cares ..at least your fiance love you more

I am obesity but I am happy with myself and how I look. I was born this way but someday I will get ride with this problem and I will change how I look. but not now. love the way you look and not felt you the ugly one. everybody beautiful on their own way

Whether it is about losing weight or not, it is only important how YOU feel. It's nice that your husband doesn't mention weight to you, but if you want to lose weight, then do it! I'm in the same boat you are, I would like to lose anywhere from 10-30 pounds. I definitely don't think I'm "fat" but I am not completely happy with where I am right now. I want to lose weight for me. I think that one of the most important rules in losing weight is, it's not just what you eat, but how much. You can eat good foods, just have them in smaller portions if they aren't as healthy for you as other things. When you go out to eat, order whatever you want, eat half, and take half home as left overs. Don't starve yourself, just have the less healthy things in smaller portions, and larger portions of the healthy stuff. Another important thing to mix with the smaller portions is, of course, exercise. And it doesn't have to be the cliche jogging....find something you like (anything that keeps you active!)...swimming, horseback riding, etc etc. House cleaning keeps you active...not sure if you like house cleaning though lol. Do you have a dog? Walk your dog! It could be the easiest thing. And you don't have to do a ton, don't kill yourself! Just make sure you do a little a day. Good luck!

I was never worried about my weight and that was my big problem before. I was underweight. When I met my husband i was just way too skinny. He was never bothered with my weight if i was skinny. It was never an issue between us, nor has it changed his love for me. I only started gaining weight when my son was already two years old and the maximum weight i have gained at the height of 5'3" is 122. AT that weight i was told that i was fat but nevertheless, it didn't bother my husband and in fact he still found me sexy. Sometimes when men do don't mention something it doesn't mean that they don't care, but look at the reactions instead. If his love and affection doesn't change and he's proud showing you off to his friends, it's true that he isn't affected by your weight at all. Sometimes we just have to feel confident of who we are and others won't mind about how we look.

Hi Hazel, I feel there is difference in looks & weight.Looks cannot be tempered but your weight you can always get it decreased or increased by exercising or by medicines even now a days you can always get you looks improved by surgery though it costs you much. But in my opinion it wont matter how you look for your fiance as he loves you for not much only for your looks but for you as whole person.And if he loves you for your looks only then the relationship is in danger you need to take some quick actions.

I guess how we look is not the most important part of a relationship anymore when you already established such relationship. Your partner is not concerned with your weight as you said. So why bother about it. Do your weight loss for yourself not because of what your partner thinks.

I would love to gain 10 punds cause I am underweight. Eversince, i always had a slim body built. Maybe its because of the genes I've got. Don't worry, as long as you can carry yourself and you feel confident nothing to worry about.

I think every woman worries about their weight. Most of the times, this worry is exagerated, because many of them looks good the way they are. I worry so much about my weight and, of course, I care about my partner's reaction. But if your fiance doesn't ever mention about your weight is because this is not important that much to him as it is to you.