keep telling myself
@igatiful_badass (1222)
Philippines
June 24, 2011 12:39am CST
I keep telling myself that i need change. Need new environment. Need new life coz life has to go on. I keep denying myself that things will be ok even if i am not ok. But how? Financially i'm not that stable. (sigh)
When my parents told me i was adopted i was lost. I search myself but no answers so decide to stop searching but have to live my life i wanted to have.
And when both of my parents died in a successive years i feel lost again. This time really i am struggling so hard. I really feel so lost. And this time really need A TOTAL CHANGE. I want to continue with my life coz i have a son. But hope i will not get distructed with this very down side of my emotions.
What shall i do then? I hate that knowing i don't know what to do.
4 responses
@meyi_2011 (51)
• China
24 Jun 11
Hello, i hope u're ok right now. U hve a son,right? u hve to being strong so that can protect the boy before he grow up. It's ur responsibily, and u hve to do. when u feel not good u can hug ur son and tell urself "i'm a mother, a great woman who can supply the good enviroment for the boy". Yeah, i do believe the person who can realize the responsibily and take on it will hve the ability to make her/himself live well. So do u. Give u my sweet wishes.
@igatiful_badass (1222)
• Philippines
24 Jun 11
thanks meyi_2011 :-)
i will never forget it that I am already a mother. thanks for reminding me.
@kareemadivina (1230)
• Philippines
24 Jun 11
Meyi_2011 is right.Life is like that.We all have ups and downs.You may have in the lowest side of your life but it doesn't mean it will not be brighter.One of the best thing that happen in your life is your son.Start from there,make him as your inspiration to have a better future.You're not alone, everyone has it's own struggle.Just trust in God, He's not giving us burdens we can't bear.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
25 Jun 11
Dear I am not sure total change is good. All changes cause even a little bit anxiety if you change too much it's stressful, I think you should make a list with numbers showing the top 5 of things that needs a change, you'll be surprised on how putting something on paper can make your unconscious work so begin from the #1 and slowly.
@igatiful_badass (1222)
• Philippines
25 Jun 11
thanks katie0..
i think i like your idea to list things that i want to change. I do agree a total abrupt change is more stressful i guess.
thank you so much i will do what you suggest then.
@babyanna (1216)
• China
24 Jun 11
Hi,there!
I'm sorry to hear that.
Well,you gotta pull yourself together.The past is already the past.You have a son who is looking up to you.And no matter how desperate you are,you have to show the positive part to your son.When you want to change,go for it and don't worry too much ahead.You may fail,but you will gain something during your mistakes.Things usually won't be okay.It's us who make them to be okay.Pretend things are okay even when they are not.Most of the time it's just a state of mind.Just keep faith in yourself that you can make it someday.
Good luck to you,my friend!And show yourself a smiley face every morning you get up.
@igatiful_badass (1222)
• Philippines
24 Jun 11
Hi babyanna,
thanks for sharing some thoughts.
Yes that is what i do keep pretending that things are just fine and ok. Maybe this time i put a little smile every morning even if I'm not ok.
@xiaotun (26)
• Singapore
24 Jun 11
I just read an article called "stop saying 'everything is fine'". It says when you feel you are stuck, you should take the courage to take actions and make change to your life. But I think the article is a bit too unpractical. In your case, I think you can start to talk to more people, more friends. From them, you can gain support, and their ideas may be of great value to you. I have faced some down sides of life recently, and that was what i did. Although i sounded very whining, i was finally cheered up by one friend, and his words gave me new understandings of life. So start to take action by letting people know you are not fine. It is not shameful to have difficulties.
