i totally hate my grandma and i wish she'd just die! i know it's evil....

Wew it is bad you better fix the condition with your own grand mother coz you live with her. But any way expecting that she will die it is a immposible thing to do. Make it clear and hope the situation getting better would be the best. You know soe times someone have a bad condition in their mind and that make them react beyound their control. This is bad right and the worsting is we also in the bad mood that will be a lot of trouble. What the best we can do is take a rest and ignore it

This is terrible to read!! I don't think you should ever wish anyone to die though. Never wish bad karma on anyone, because then karma will come after you, so really, you are wishing karma on yourself. I know its hard now, but try to think of something good your grandma has done for you. You live with her, so she obviously took you in at one stage. You and your baby. In elderly years, the "golden years" .. older people like to take it easy. They've worked, they've had their kids, they've raised their kids, its THEIR time now. Yet your grandma has clearly allowed you and your child to live with her. I know my grandmum can be a real cow at times, and the way she treats my mum sometimes really gets to me, but shes been there for me and will probably always be there for me if i need her. However, if you feel like there is too much tension, possibly just because you are living in such close conditions together, maybe leaving would be a good option? I dont know what age you are, but you could maybe look into getting housing benefit from the government or getting them to put you into a house, say you have nowhere to go with your child? In relation to your best friends offer, its a nice offer. But why would you leave your child? You gave birth to, and brought a beautiful little baby into the world, surely you'd wanna see him grow up into a little man? Watch him take his first steps, loose his first tooth etc? Why would you give up on that? or why don't you move back in with your mum? Or if you were thinking of giving him to your mum, full-time if you moved away, why don't you ask your mum to take him part-time, and get a job? Earn money and possibly get your own place? and then when you have your own place, start working a little more to afford a creche, or a childminder. Your child will eventually go to school, so you'll be able to work more etc.. I wouldn't advise running away from your responsibilities though, cause surely then you'd be proving your grandma right in the long run? Show her how responsible you are, and take what she says with a pinch of salt. You are raising a baby! That's something to be proud of. Remember that!

Why would you leave your baby with your mom? I would think it a good idea to move if you can't live with your grandma. I think your elder should be respected. Maybe if you could set down and peacefully talk to her you might both come to a understanding. You would probably need a mediater to get to this stage though.

Hi Tammy27. It is sad to see you talking like this. But of course, I cannot judge anyone since I also have plenty of skeletons in my closet. What I can do is to empathize with your situation since I was also affected by the affects of generation gaps. Many times people's behavior reflects their shortcomings or their feelings about their place in the scheme of things. It is interesting but a lot of times, we become reminders of their failures or of their perceptions of failure and so act out towards our loved ones. But bottom line, and i don't want you to take this the wrong way, when we decide to have children we shold realize that it is our responsibility and no one else's. If you are living in your grand mother's house then you simply have to put up with her behavior until you can get your self together and move out. The only other choice is to get yourself together and find your own place. Moving to Japan is only a change of masters because you will still be at the whim of the owner of the house. Many people may offer to help but when reality sets in, they may change. We should trust no one but ourselves. Leaving your child behind may seem like the best thing and might be financially better. But studies show that children want the love of their parents more than anything else. While you are gone, who will provide the love and nurturing that you should provide? Will you leaving only perpetuate what your grandma believes? When we reach a certain age, we want peace and quiet and a baby simply makes that almost impossible. It is a hard decision to make and only through spiritual therapy and meditation will the true path be revealed to you.

Some grandma, have hate issue. I dont know why but she's definitely not a happy person. P robably she have worries and old people normally have less tolerant towards noises what's more baby's crying. Your choice to go to Japan and leave behind your baby with your mom isn't a right move, dear. How old is your mom? What about your baby? She might not be close to you as she will grow up without you. Baby in their infancy age is very important. Time spent with your little boy is equally important and he will need alot of your attention. Where is your husband? Didn't he have anything to say? :)

tammy - I remember u also started a discussion about grand ma and grand daughter relationship. It is really horrible. Perhaps u are staying with your mother's mother. Now u have to bear it till u make arrangements for alternate accommodation. You have not told about the father of your child. Where is he? Is he ur best friend? In that case it is good for u to go to Japan if u can manage. Nobody is perfect in this world including myself. I am really bad for your grand ma calling you by using wrong words. Please forgive the old lady. God will take care of her. Now it should be your strategy to get out of that place safely. God bless you.

It sounds to me like you need a break. Your situation sounds so extremely stressful that I felt stressed just reading it. A crying baby that is teething is hard enough to deal with without someone screaming at you because of it. I wouldn't make any major decisions while that worked up. Ask your mom to watch your baby so you can go for a walk or meet up with a friend and talk things out. Is there any way you could get a job where you are and possibly find a place of your own or with a friend? Does your mom live right there with your Gram? If so, I'm not sure that'd be a good situation to be leaving your son in while you move to Japan. I hope you take time to really think things over before doing anything real big. Don't worry, things will get better. They always do.

Hello there, All this time i thought you were some high-school kid who wants to earn a buck To be honest i hate my grandma sometimes despite of the good thing she did to us. she's also perfectionist in the house, tells what to do here and there. almost every one in the US loves here because of her kindness. but she can be a bit of a hypocrite too. you know japan economy isn't as good as it was before, and leaving you're kid with you're mom sounds like you're giving you're mom a hard time being a parent again. besides, i never understand why you have to turn on the television LOUDER, don't you think it's gonna make the baby cry even more? Just understand that, she's old, insecure and in her way always worried about you probably not the pampering way that you'd expect. she will die some day, am sure you will have what you want.

It is the generation gap that dictates this discord between you and your grand mother. And leaving your child under the care of your mother seems a serious decision which needs a lot of thinking. I know some do it out of necessity provided your Mom agrees. But ultimately it is your responsibility to care for your child. Is there no other alternative?

I don't think I will understand how you feel. I don't live with my grandma but with my parents. We live separately from them and we sometimes visit our grandma and grandpa. I'm on good terms with my grandma so I can't really react to this discussion because I never experienced having a quarrel with her. Elderlies tend to get all cranky as time goes by so I guess the baby's cry is really making her feel stressed.

It is not right to curse your grandma this way. No matter how she treats you, you still have to respect your elders. After all, as you are staying in her home, you would have to abide by her rules at all time. Surely there is a reason why your grandma is treating you this way. Sit down, think about it and then talk it out with her. Anyway, I agree with what the other's are saying, that you shouldn't leave your baby to go work abroad. Sometimes things may not turn out as what you expected.

Be gentle to your folks tammy27. It's good that you come to mylot to discuss this thing, because here in mylot you can gather and compare and try different kinds of advises from different kinds of people. But at the end, you know, you are still the driver of your life. If i were you, I have to leave my child to my mother for the meantime, but have your word and promise yourself that you are doing it for the best of your child. And remember that your goal in leaving your son and is to uplift your life and to give better future to your son, don't even think about escaping your responsibility because it will haunt you for the rest of your life. Think positive!

That's a very difficult issue to deal with it. I don't know how old are you, but maybe it's not the worst idea to leave you son with your mom and go to Japan to work. If your mom is ok with that, of course. If you are a younger mom, you can go to Japan to build a money reservation (stay there working for a 1-2 years), so, when you return, you will be able to live in your own place with your son.

I really don't think leaving your child behind is a good idea. =( Maybe finding somewhere else to live but I would never leave my child for any reason. That's your baby...I hope you can figure something else out, for both of your sakes. :)

i can emergine how you feel, and how you are trying to cope with that old woman. i wish u could understand her age. many old women are like that, they complain a lot over a very trivial matters, they would talk all day. my grandmother is like that, and i sometimes hates her. but i have come to learn her behaviors and always go slow when an addressing her.

That is really a hard decision for you.If you think you really have to work there and you are sure that a good job is waiting for you and that could provide your child on his needs and I would suggest that you go.You should prove to your grandmother that you are not the kind of person that she think and you can do the responsibility as a mother to your child in your own.That would be if your mother agree that you leave your child to her.Your friends offer was a good opportunity for you but you should ask her about the type of your that is waiting for you there.Good luck for your decision!Just don't mind your grandma and just do your responsibility as a mother.