Is it Just Venting Out OR you really NEED me to solve your problem????
By jacklintan
@jacklintan (1302)
Malaysia
June 25, 2011 11:28am CST
Ok, Im pissed OFF and at the same time, feeling dissappointed with a good friend (I don't believe in having the best friend). :(
He is starting a business and I helped him by getting the quotations, eletrician and even the plumbing person and ETC ETC ETC! Hell, it's alot of work Im doing and Im not getting paid. All, in the name of GOOD FRIEND SAKE! :(
I'm helping him because he always call me up for this and that and I never turned him down.
UNTIL....this late afternoon, when both the Landlord and himself called me up!
GUESS WHAT! They both are fighting! Geez....
I asked both of them out and talked over it.
Honestly, I feel the Landlord is right. My "good friend" shouldn't be too petty about those small stuffs.
I want to ask all of you out there, who should pay the legal FEE for the tenancy agreement? landlord or the tenant???
After the whole chats and discussions, I thought everthing is finalised UNTIL I got a called from my "good" friend. He was swearing and venting out his anger towards the landlord and being a real good friend, isnt it right for me to tell him my opinion about the discussions since I was there?
Then, he started quoting this example," Jackie, what do you think if someone is saying you're fat, not being competent with your job and you're a lousy lawyer???"
I was stunted for a minute and my jaws was going to drop out! In silent, I was asking myself, what it has to do with me being fat??? Oh boy, I hate the word FAT!
Since you and the landlord have finalised the decision, why are you still being mad? Are you just venting out or you're wanting me to solve your problem? Oh God, have I done the right thing by helping my friend?
He still sounded pissed off over the phone with the landlord, and I hope he understand and ACCEPT THE FACT, it's all misunderstanding! :S
I really don't anticipate those who are throwing out their negative thoughts and emotions. Im not a garbage bin where u can threw your negative emotions into.
What should I do....I have done m very best....
1 person likes this
6 responses
@Netsbridge (3253)
• United States
25 Jun 11
I think this person assumes you are his lifeline. If you feel this way about this friend of yours, then you should be strong enough to let him know how you feel about being bothered always. You know, it is very noble to say NO.
Lest I forget - there is inference here that you are an attorney. Is this assumption correct? If true, then why does it nag you so much that people can be free to express themselves?
@jacklintan (1302)
• Malaysia
25 Jun 11
The thing is, he is a client and also a friend. the line isnt clear enough. I have to take care of his feelings and at the same time, keeping the business connection with him too. Boy...
Yeah, I shouldnt get personal with his comments. I just dont like it when he was saying "what if someone tell you are fat..and bla bla..."
@Netsbridge (3253)
• United States
25 Jun 11
Since you are getting too stressed with this friend and client, why not state conflict of interest and simply re-direct friend to another attorney? I know there are lots of cases out there for attoneys who are not afraid to take on matters addressing law.
@alvanloh (162)
• Malaysia
26 Jun 11
It is not right to vent his anger on a friend. He should get some anger manage counseling or a stress toy. I agree with you that he should pay the for the fee instead. A friend once told me a story. There was an old fisherman catching some crabs. A boy walked pass the fisherman and saw him leaving his caught crabs in the tank that had no cover on top. The boy said,"Why are you not covering the tank with the cover? If you don't the crab will escape," The fisherman replied, "Young man just watch the crabs in the tank." Both of them watched the crab in the tank. Every time the one above was about to escape, the one below it drags it down. Your friend is like the crab. If you do not solve this problem, it will always happen. So i advice you to just ask him to stop it. If does not comply, then this type of people are not worth your attention.
@jacklintan (1302)
• Malaysia
26 Jun 11
This is food for thought. Thanks alvanloh. :)
Sometimes, negative friend can be very deceiving. They will drag us down just like the crab in the tank, trying to find their way to escape.
I'll keep an open eye on this. Hopefully, Im not affected by him anymore.
Thank you so much. Love to hear from you soon.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
29 Jun 11
It sounds to me as if you are too closely involved and getting caught up in the middle of it all. His venting is actually from the sounds of it...if understand this correctly, insulting you...YOU who are trying to be neutral. Bottom line if there is a contract and if your friend broke that contract then he is the guilty one and he should pay the legal fee. If he feels the landlord was wrong then he should file a counter suit and gather toghther any and all evidence.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
26 Jun 11
Hi Jackie 
Wow what a moment this friend of yours created. Here is what I suggest, since both of you are very good friends, give it a little time. Do not call him and allow a little space and time to cool the both of you.
Then when he or you do call one another be honest with him and tell him that you care for him very much but that you did not appreciate him venting his anger on you. There was no reason why he used you as a target here and even though you are good friends he deserves a spanking. lol... so to speak. Remember that you have been really loyal to him and therefore you deserve to be heard. He can't be upset with you Jackie it was him with the issue and you were there simply as a friend to suggest what your opinion was. Do remember that trusted friends do not condition one another therefore, go not be afraid to let him know what he said was hurtful. If in fact he is a good friend Jackie he will come to his senses and apologize. I would not want you two to loose the friendship but if he continues to be unreasonable then you will know where he stands in terms of your loyalty.
Wow what a moment this friend of yours created. Here is what I suggest, since both of you are very good friends, give it a little time. Do not call him and allow a little space and time to cool the both of you.
Then when he or you do call one another be honest with him and tell him that you care for him very much but that you did not appreciate him venting his anger on you. There was no reason why he used you as a target here and even though you are good friends he deserves a spanking. lol... so to speak. Remember that you have been really loyal to him and therefore you deserve to be heard. He can't be upset with you Jackie it was him with the issue and you were there simply as a friend to suggest what your opinion was. Do remember that trusted friends do not condition one another therefore, go not be afraid to let him know what he said was hurtful. If in fact he is a good friend Jackie he will come to his senses and apologize. I would not want you two to loose the friendship but if he continues to be unreasonable then you will know where he stands in terms of your loyalty. @jacklintan (1302)
• Malaysia
26 Jun 11
hi HWG,
Im alright for now. I was upset last night and it disturbed my sleep.
This morning, I got a smsed from him saying that he was cleaning his shop and he appreciated my help and thanking me.
I have to say, I don't feel it's sincere from him. Anyway, I have forgiven him, just that, I don't like his personality and the way he like to take advantage of others.
I hope he realises his attitudes.
Thanks for your reply. :)
@enriqueb (21)
• Argentina
25 Jun 11
It's simple and complicated at the same time. If you did everything possible to help your friend, you most stay calm and be patient until everything calms down. Probably your friend is frustrated in one or more directions, it is always hard to know what someone else thinks. Take your time to think calmly, if your friend realizes you ask for forgiveness, if is not does perhaps was taking advantage of your kindness
@jacklintan (1302)
• Malaysia
25 Jun 11
I have known him long enough to know his strength and weakness and I have to say, his weakness is nerve wrecking!
@adex19 (114)
• Malaysia
26 Jun 11
well it a good think you help your friend for a lot of thing it show that you really a good friend and you are the think of friend someone can look up to when he/she has a problem. you friend has a lot of problem by asking you how will you feel if someone tell you that you are fat. he should have accept the fact rather that try to change the discussion. some friend are not really our friend they are just people will talk to because will talk to them a lot of time will thing they are our friend. just tell him to pay the tenancy agreement. you have really done a lot for him .it is time he start treating you has friend also if not just leave him to his own problem
@jacklintan (1302)
• Malaysia
26 Jun 11
hi adex,
Thank you so much for your support. Now I know why everyone in mylot is having so much pleasure and getting the amount of comforts from you folks here.
I was abit dissappointed by his remarks coz it only happened yesterday's night, but somehow Im feeling alright now.
As a friend, we shouldn't throw our problems onto others. I was there to provide decent helps and that's it.
He was obviously VERY upset with what the landlord have told him OFF over the phone earlier.
The Landlord said he was the lousiest tenant he ever encountered. That is why I feel he was troubled by this kind of remarks, and he got if off his chest.
Needless to say, this friend always complaint about his friends, his co-workers at work and I even picked him and his family from his parent's house when he had a fight with his parents and moved out from his parent's house.
Guess, what he moved into his parent's house after a few weeks!
