I'm In Shock
By Janey1966
@Janey1966 (24170)
Carlisle, England
June 25, 2011 3:32pm CST
Just got a phone call off Mum and she told me that a lady I used to work with (Di) has had a stroke and is in hospital.
Di is about 4/5 years older than me so is 50 at the most. Apparently, she was coming out of a friend's house (who I also know from working in Blackpool) and she said she "felt funny" as she was getting in her car. Because she felt tingling sensations down her arms an ambulance was called immediately. I'm hoping this stroke has been caught early as this is paramount to a full recovery.
I got upset after I got off the phone with Mum as I like Di a lot. She's one of the nicest people you could wish to meet but has been treated badly at the Council recently. Her boss retired, she won a promotion, only to be told her post "wasn't required." She has been given another job but my guess is it won't have nearly as much responsibility and I bet she feels like a spare part. Her environment (in Highways) is still male dominated and she's been in there since she was 18, working her way up gradually, like you're supposed to.
I've spoken to Bruce on the phone (an ex-colleague) and he's been retired a year and told me that he got out at the right time as morale is extremely low now. He found out about Di last night in his local Club. He's in shock too.
I would love to go and see her but I don't even know what ward she's on (nor does anybody at present). The shock of seeing me could work both ways and I don't want her to think I'm seeing her because I think she's on her way out..cos I wouldn't do that. Not the type. I see people because I love them.
I guess I'm rambling. Sorry.
Why is it the nice people fall ill? It's not fair.
Di is about 4/5 years older than me so is 50 at the most. Apparently, she was coming out of a friend's house (who I also know from working in Blackpool) and she said she "felt funny" as she was getting in her car. Because she felt tingling sensations down her arms an ambulance was called immediately. I'm hoping this stroke has been caught early as this is paramount to a full recovery.
I got upset after I got off the phone with Mum as I like Di a lot. She's one of the nicest people you could wish to meet but has been treated badly at the Council recently. Her boss retired, she won a promotion, only to be told her post "wasn't required." She has been given another job but my guess is it won't have nearly as much responsibility and I bet she feels like a spare part. Her environment (in Highways) is still male dominated and she's been in there since she was 18, working her way up gradually, like you're supposed to.
I've spoken to Bruce on the phone (an ex-colleague) and he's been retired a year and told me that he got out at the right time as morale is extremely low now. He found out about Di last night in his local Club. He's in shock too.
I would love to go and see her but I don't even know what ward she's on (nor does anybody at present). The shock of seeing me could work both ways and I don't want her to think I'm seeing her because I think she's on her way out..cos I wouldn't do that. Not the type. I see people because I love them.
I guess I'm rambling. Sorry.
Why is it the nice people fall ill? It's not fair.5 people like this
16 responses
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
25 Jun 11
It seems that way doesn't it? The nice ones always have something tragic happen to them.. but in truth we are all in for something to happen to us in one way or another. I'm so sorry about your friend, Di... but I hope she was caught soon enough so that she can recover fully.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160879)
• United States
26 Jun 11
Janey, I am sure she will be glad to hear from you, and it sounds like she did exactly what she could to be healthy, and when this incident happened she did what she needed to get care.
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
26 Jun 11
So very sorry to hear this sad news about your friend,Di. I hope she has a full recovery as soon as possible. If you can, I think if you can, you should go to see her, and soon.
The job stress is definitely part of the reason she had the stroke, but some other events in her life were possibly contributors as well. Having a medical history or high blood pressure is a serious factor for having a future stroke.
Some people, younger than you friend, Di, are having strokes, because of all the stressful lifestyles they are leading; they are trying to be successful in business and trying to maintain a life outside of work, to can all just become overwhelming and the body fights back by shutting down.
Speedy recovery for your friend.
Some people, younger than you friend, Di, are having strokes, because of all the stressful lifestyles they are leading; they are trying to be successful in business and trying to maintain a life outside of work, to can all just become overwhelming and the body fights back by shutting down.
Speedy recovery for your friend.@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
27 Jun 11
Your friend,Di, is very fortunate to have a concerned friend like yourself. At a time like this, I think, it is important to have good supporting friends and family.
Strokes, can be severe or light; I hope your friend has the latter, which means that she will have a quickly and less debilitate recovery.
It is a shame that some of our jobs take such a toll us.
I wish her a speedy recovery.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
27 Jun 11
Our landline telephone isn't working at the moment which doesn't help matters but I think we're off to buy another one after tea. Hopefully, if my Mum finds out anything she will let me know before I ring her tomorrow night.
Thanks for your kind words.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
26 Jun 11
Yes, I've been educating myself on strokes and their possible causes and stress will definitely play a factor with Di, as I know she doesn't smoke and drink. From what I remember about her at work she has a fair amount of nervous energy but it's channelled in positive ways. She also had a child fairly late on in life with her partner she's been with for years and subsequently married. So, that side of her life is fine..it's just the work thing I suspect that has slowly got her down.
An ex work colleague I spoke to on the phone is quite relieved he retired last year before all these cuts, etc "kicked off" within the Council. He told me how poorly Di was treated with the promotion that was cruelly taken away..then they gave her another "job" to soften the blow. If I know Di this would treated like a rejection of some kind and an excuse for her bosses not to let her into Management, which is something she has aspired towards since I worked with her in the 90s. The fact she did her job well should make her win promotion and keep it. How come there are people high up who haven't a clue what they are doing? It makes no sense and Di will be feeling this more than anyone. She will think that all these years have been wasted.
However, despite the stroke Di is clever enough to re-evaluate things and she will definitely use this unfortunate chain of events to take stock and - maybe, consider getting away from the Council altogether. I only hope she recovers well enough to do what she wants to do, rather than being dictated to by her condition..if that makes sense.
An ex work colleague I spoke to on the phone is quite relieved he retired last year before all these cuts, etc "kicked off" within the Council. He told me how poorly Di was treated with the promotion that was cruelly taken away..then they gave her another "job" to soften the blow. If I know Di this would treated like a rejection of some kind and an excuse for her bosses not to let her into Management, which is something she has aspired towards since I worked with her in the 90s. The fact she did her job well should make her win promotion and keep it. How come there are people high up who haven't a clue what they are doing? It makes no sense and Di will be feeling this more than anyone. She will think that all these years have been wasted.
However, despite the stroke Di is clever enough to re-evaluate things and she will definitely use this unfortunate chain of events to take stock and - maybe, consider getting away from the Council altogether. I only hope she recovers well enough to do what she wants to do, rather than being dictated to by her condition..if that makes sense.
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
8 Jul 11
Hope things are going better for your friend Di. This does not sound like a Good situation all around, and it might be time for her to consider her Career plans and move to something she will be happier in. I am hoping you have been able to see her, and that things will continue to get better from here.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
9 Jul 11
Hi Tina, hope you are feeling better my friend.
I don't know any more about Di's situation but I suspect she is probably out of hospital by now.
I shall be visiting Mum (probably in about 2 weeks or so when she finishes work) so I'm planning on ringing Di's home telephone number whilst I'm there. That way it won't look like I've made a special visit as I know Di doesn't like fuss, never has done.
Even if she doesn't want visitors round it will be a wonderful opportunity to ask how she is and what her plans are for the future. I'm hoping her speech isn't affected but (knowing Di as I do) the stroke will have been treated early and she will be responding to treatment by the time I ring her up. I'm also hoping that it will be a nice surprise for her as she wouldn't be expecting a 'phone call off me, I'm sure.
What do you think?
I don't know any more about Di's situation but I suspect she is probably out of hospital by now.
I shall be visiting Mum (probably in about 2 weeks or so when she finishes work) so I'm planning on ringing Di's home telephone number whilst I'm there. That way it won't look like I've made a special visit as I know Di doesn't like fuss, never has done.
Even if she doesn't want visitors round it will be a wonderful opportunity to ask how she is and what her plans are for the future. I'm hoping her speech isn't affected but (knowing Di as I do) the stroke will have been treated early and she will be responding to treatment by the time I ring her up. I'm also hoping that it will be a nice surprise for her as she wouldn't be expecting a 'phone call off me, I'm sure.
What do you think?
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 Jun 11
I have heard that if they catch a stroke early and administer a certain medication that it will prevent a lot of damage from happening. Hope they caught hers in time.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
27 Jun 11
Funnily enough, when I heard about Di's stroke I decided to research the subject. I knew before that it has to be caught early but the thing I learned (and the bit you know about as well) is the medication aspect of it. There was a lady on the Stroke Association website (video) and I felt so sorry for her because she wasn't very old and her stroke wasn't treated early enough due to her flatmates dithering. There was a delay of 1 and a half hours which can make the difference between a relatively full recovery to not recovering at all...and she couldn't have the medication as the stroke was too far in, if that makes sense.
Thankfully, Di wasn't on her own when the stroke happened so I guess she was in hospital REALLY quick. I hope so, anyway.
Thankfully, Di wasn't on her own when the stroke happened so I guess she was in hospital REALLY quick. I hope so, anyway.
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
8 Jul 11
Hiya Janey,
You could go and visit her once she is settled in back at her home. Perhaps that would be better for you as well if you can´t find her in the Hospital.
Glad they caught it in time as well.
With the right treatment she will be fine.
It must have been very upsetting for you all as well.
When you have been Friends for such a time and you have not seen them for ages and then find something like that out it does hit hard.
Wishing your Friend a very speedy recovery.xxx
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
9 Jul 11
Thanks for that. Since I started this discussion I have not heard any news about Di. I don't even know if she's out the hospital yet but my gut feeling is that she has been let out by now and is probably having some kind of therapy, depending on how serious the stroke is of course.
What I'm planning to do is to take Di's telephone number with me to Mum's house as she lives in the same Town and ring her up when I stay there next..which will probably be in a couple of weeks time. This will give Di to adjust to whatever it is she's having to adjust to and I can tell her that I'm at Mum's and would like to take the opportunity to come and visit her if at all possible, as it's something I've been meaning to do for quite some time.
What do you think?
Since I started this discussion I have not heard any news about Di. I don't even know if she's out the hospital yet but my gut feeling is that she has been let out by now and is probably having some kind of therapy, depending on how serious the stroke is of course.
What I'm planning to do is to take Di's telephone number with me to Mum's house as she lives in the same Town and ring her up when I stay there next..which will probably be in a couple of weeks time. This will give Di to adjust to whatever it is she's having to adjust to and I can tell her that I'm at Mum's and would like to take the opportunity to come and visit her if at all possible, as it's something I've been meaning to do for quite some time.
What do you think?
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
28 Jun 11
To start with, the answer to your last question, why is it that nice people fall ill? Well have you ever heard the Billy Joel song, only the good die young? I guess that answers it. I am sorry to hear about your friend. I know how it feels because some years back, my father had a stroke. Thank God it wasn't a bad one and he fully recovered. It's a shame that as we age we have to watch our health more and more and also watch what we eat. I stinks to get old. I am only 49 right now but I know that I will be my fathers age some day. I do not think I am looking forward to it.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
26 Jun 11
If she was where I think she was at the time of her stroke she wouldn't be far from the hospital. No idea if an amubulance was called or if someone drove her there..my guess would be the former.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
26 Jun 11
Well, heart attack can happen to anybody who has a history of it. Or it could be that she had a lot of vices when she was young that's why she suffered heart attack. And one thing about the saying is that we only notice nice people getting sick that's why we always say that "Nice guys finish first." But when not so nice people get sick, we hardly notice them.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
26 Jun 11
She hasn't had a heart attack, she's had a stroke. When I knew her well in the early 90s (mainly) Di didn't have any vices. I do know that she and her husband moved last year in order to be close to a school their son was due to join. Then, of course, Di wouldn't have thought about the onset of all these cuts and how it affects everybody within her workplace (including herself) and yes, she is lucky that she kinda got re-deployed within the department BUT, having gone through something similar with Mum I do know that she was treated shoddily..her employer initially telling her that her post was "no longer required." I cannot imagine what she must've been feeling when she was notified of this as she's been in the same job for years...and does it very well I might add.
Unfortunately, the world being as it is procedures aren't being met and people are being let go at the drop of a hat, without any warnings. Instead of these stupid Unions wanting to strike regarding future pensions they should be striking to get sacked people reinstated.
That's what they do on the London Underground all the time!
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
26 Jun 11
I know what you mean, I can't understand it either!
@kaylachan (71520)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
26 Jun 11
I'm sorry to hear about your friend and I'll keep her in my thoughts. Like you, I hope she makes a full recovery. She was lucky to have felt some kind of warning sign. Many stroke victums don't. Lucklly it was caught early enough. For her sake of course.
However, you shouldn't feel guilt when you eventually get an opertunity to see her. I'm sure she won't think baddly of your visit. And, she'll need any support she can get right now both from family and friends alike. So I'm sure she'll be happy to see you and know she has your full support, despite what the epsiode may be doing to her emotions.
Keep us posted on how she's doing, and remember you've got friends here if you need someone to talk to through this rough and difficult time.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
26 Jun 11
Those are amazing, sincere comments there my friend and I could tell you meant every word..thanks so much.
You've figured out Di already. Well done! She's an extremely friendly person is our Di and has a kind streak. She knows loads of people both male and female but, like me she gets on better with the guys..usually. She reminds me of a younger version of my Mum and I don't reckon she has a nasty bone in her body, unlike some people she's had to endure at work over the years. This is why I resigned in the end, I couldn't stand the atmosphere. Di has done well to live with it and even win a promotion..for it to be taken away again during the cutbacks. She may be philosophical in the fact that a new job was "found" for her but, knowing Di, she will (secretly) think that this is as bad as being sacked..and she's well within her rights to feel that way as she is brilliant at her job and probably feels it's about time she got some recognition, especially with her boss retiring.
Poor Di. When I get to know some more I shall post another discussion about it, I promise!
You've figured out Di already. Well done! She's an extremely friendly person is our Di and has a kind streak. She knows loads of people both male and female but, like me she gets on better with the guys..usually. She reminds me of a younger version of my Mum and I don't reckon she has a nasty bone in her body, unlike some people she's had to endure at work over the years. This is why I resigned in the end, I couldn't stand the atmosphere. Di has done well to live with it and even win a promotion..for it to be taken away again during the cutbacks. She may be philosophical in the fact that a new job was "found" for her but, knowing Di, she will (secretly) think that this is as bad as being sacked..and she's well within her rights to feel that way as she is brilliant at her job and probably feels it's about time she got some recognition, especially with her boss retiring.
Poor Di. When I get to know some more I shall post another discussion about it, I promise!
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
26 Jun 11
I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your colleague before.I do hope she would recover soon since it's the first time that did happen to her.Yeah sometimes nice people are treated unjustly or are even challenged his/her capability to cope but there are some who surpass it.I'll pray that she is one of them.
Visiting her is a nice gesture, you should do that.I'm hoping for her quick recovery.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
26 Jun 11
I've yet to find out what ward she is in. I do know that stress victims have to undertake various tests, so that will take time..not that I want her to be in hospital for longer than necessary..it's just that I know she is in very capable hands at that particular hospital.
Once I find out more about her situation I shall make a decision on whether or not to visit (as it's 100 miles away)..or I may send a card to her home, ready for when she comes out, which I will do anyway, come to think of it.
Once I find out more about her situation I shall make a decision on whether or not to visit (as it's 100 miles away)..or I may send a card to her home, ready for when she comes out, which I will do anyway, come to think of it.
@changjiangzhibin89 (16784)
• China
26 Jun 11
What a sad news!As soon as she was 50,she had a stroke.That means her left or right part of her body will likely be paralysed .No matter whether cerebral haemorrhage or cerebral thrombosis,It has often to do with one's mood.Haven't you said she has been treated badly at the council recently?I hope she can go through the ordeal.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
26 Jun 11
Yes, she received a promotion..only for it to be taken away again as the post "didn't exist" anymore. Diane is an extremely resilient person but I reckon this would've shattered her ego. The fact they gave her another job to do is patronising in the extreme and will not lessen the disappointment she will be feeling right now.
I have no idea if it's due to the guys being at the top and they can't face the fact a woman is better than them BUT a promotion should not have been offered Di in the first place if they knew it was to be taken away. My Mum has been cruelly treated at the Council as well you know so if Di has received no respect either, then it will be this that's affected her mind. She must wonder why she has put in so many years...and gone on courses that SHE had to pay for because management said they had nothing to do with her job. What they REALLY wanted to say was they didn't want her getting into MANAGEMENT which is what the courses were all about. She was only trying to better herself. What's wrong with that?
I only hope that the people that have treated her badly take a good, long hard look at themselves as they're definitely to blame..if they're anything like the people I had to put up with when working alongside Di in the 90s.
I only hope that the people that have treated her badly take a good, long hard look at themselves as they're definitely to blame..if they're anything like the people I had to put up with when working alongside Di in the 90s.1 person likes this
@miadsoriano (884)
• Philippines
27 Jun 11
That's why I keep telling my hubby to not be too nice. I don't want him to fall ill on me or something worse. Knock on wood!!!
@nurseclare (2209)
• Philippines
26 Jun 11
You sound stressed! I'm so sorry to hear that janey. Stress can affect the health of an individual esp.in Di's case that she's working in a male dominated environment and I think people in there are really competitive and stress will rise up then. I hope Di's fine and see her really soon. Send her beautiful flowers and a warmest hug as soon as you see her. I wish her well.
@GardenGerty (160879)
• United States
25 Jun 11
Perhaps people just do not care as much when nasty people fall ill. Or only nice people give in to the stress. Send her a nice card, either at the hospital or when she goes home. It sounds like they caught it as early as they possibly could.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
25 Jun 11
In my shocked state I'd not thought of a card. Thanks so much for reminding me that I can do this. I know her address but if she's still in hospital then her husband could give it to her there. I might send her a short letter as well..not decided on that aspect yet.
1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
25 Jun 11
I am sorry to hear about your friend Di. I do hope she fully recovers soon. It is something, isn't it? That good people always seems to be the ones who fall ill.
I will definitely have her in my prayers and hope as you say that she caught this so early on and that she now begins to take all the precautions necessary to prevent any future possible strokes.
I am sure she will meet with a dietician in the hospital and they will evaluate if anything she needs to do for the future.
I would do like GG says above and wait for her to return home. At which time I would send a card, plant and or call her and let her know you are thinking about her. Visiting right now would be a bit stressful as I am sure she will be flooded with many close family members at the hospital.
