An Odd Marriage

hi toniganzon! You ask your husband what his plans are. You must have a serious talk with him. Include the things that you must prioritize especially that you are the only one earning for the family. I am not saying it's not okay to buy toys for the kid or buy clothings, but there are things that are more important than these right? I am sure your kid still has a lot of toys and clothing. And your husband must also know these things to practice himself handling situations in the family. After all, he is the head of the family. Also, he MUST have plans of working and earning for your family. I hope! Well, for joint accounts its okay if you guys do not have one. We don't. :)But we are okay. My husband and I are very open on how much we save into our account, how much we spend for our needs, etc. He knows everything about the transactions of my account and vice versa. It's just a matter of planning and working together for the family. Understand your husband this time if he always gets money from your bank account since he has no work. But when he does have a work already, he better open his own account. Please do not envy those wives who do not work and are just given money from their husbands. I am a working mother and at times I admit that this crosses my mind. But we should be thankful that we have a job, it may be very tiring but there are a lot of people who are unemployed and would also want to be in our job. So, just look at it this way, we are BLESSED! Take care!

Hi dear, Be relaxed. You are not the only one like, but there are many people like you around. Here in your case, it is still better and there is reason that he is still studying. But there are many people who do no work and not even help their wives for their job as well. They will go for job, come home, make food, feed children, serve to the husband also. It is quite shameful and these husbands even get the money from wives for their personal needs and even asking money for drinks and narcotics and other things too. They are lazy, depend only on their wives earnings and such people destroy the peace at home and will be a burden for ever. In you case you have still hope that he is studying and he helps to get things for home with whatever he earns. In this case, you can do few things. Give motivation to your husband. Discuss the matter in detail. Always (occasionally) remind him about his level of life. He should get a feel that he has to complete the studies and try to get a job as early as possible. You also can remind him about it. Try for a job apply on behalf of him, post his resumes in web sites and job searches. Once he realise that you also trying to get a job for him, he will do more hard work. Make aware that if he also works the income to the home increase, your life become more easier, savings can be done, children better education can be provided etc. Make him happy and give such an atmosphere where he should think positive and think good about you. When you seriously talk, he will realise it and will try for a job. However, if he need more time for studies, let him take it and still consider him as a student because he is still pursuing his education. Give him strength and courage, which will lead him to get better results and soon will get a job also. Once you are alright, you can open a joint account and do the things better. But don't give feeling that he is job less and you are running home. Once he get disappointed, he may go worse than better. So, keep all in mind, do a better job from your side and which will help you better. All the best. Thank-s

Wow!! Personally with all my Health problems lately, I am glad my husband has a good steady job. This was actually the attraction thing for me, and I was mainly just selling at our Local Swap Meet when we met, and on Disability. It must be a struggle sometimes I am sure with your income being the main one. But if it is bothering you in a nice way you might try to change this and see what happens from here. Wishing you the Best.

Hi, I have respect for you. I will not ask any personal question because it is your personal matter that you pay for everything. It is your decision but yes it sounds a little odd to me. If it sounds odd to you then why do you continue doing so. Ask him to do the part time job. And why in this world you have children so early when your husband is studying himself. Okay, that is again your decision but it sounds really odd..

I understand how you feel. I do work out of the home when this job needs me and I run an In Home Business. I love my business and I thought I would have more time with my children doing it but in fact I don't see them any more than if I was working full time out of the home. My husband just finally got a job since he's been without one for a while. So, I had to go outside of the home to work. I don't have a problem with it if it's to help and not an all the time thing. I wouldn't want to ALWAYS be the one working and him staying home...

hi toniganzon, my husband is disabled and so he only brings home some disability check. I am the main breadwinner but I knew that would be the case before I got married to him. As he does the grocery shopping and homemaking in our medium sized apartment (we dont have kids), I think he does a fair share and I have no problems with it. He had trouble accepting he would be sort of househusband or homemaker before we got married but now he has set in nicely.

"The other side of the river is always green"---"The other man's wife is always beautiful" --This is the thing going on in almost all families. If both husband and wife work -- children are neglected. If one of them works children get proper attention --It is for you to decide who is going to work. A lot of compromise is required. I always recommend having Either or Survivor joint accounts for husband and wife. Please do not worry too much. You are working for your kids and your man. Your problems will subside soon. blessings.

It looks like you are in a sticky situation. As a woman, I wouldn't want to be in your situation. I'd be honest with my husband and ask him about his plans. I wouldn't want to be in a marriage like yours. It's just my opinion. Anyways, if I'd be married, I don't want to be a stay at home mom either. I'd still want to work and contribute something to the family even if my husband earns enough for us. It's just that I'd prefer to have my own savings account for emergency and personal use in the future. I don't want to entirely depend on my husband for every financial resources all the time.